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  1. #1

    Accepting myself

    I know I?m bi but acting and wing ok with it even if it?s on the DL is a struggle . Anyone else relate to this I have so mischievous to lose if it ever came out .

  2. #2

    Re: Accepting myself

    The simple fact that I find both women and men attractive isn't really a big deal to me -- I'm out to some family and friends -- and for the most part people are pretty accepting.

    My fear is having my fantasies judged by others.

    Gay men who look at me different when I say I like women. Wanting to role play as feminine with a strong man that I trust .. and people somehow thinking less of it.

    Those are the two things I feel shame about at times.

  3. #3

    Re: Accepting myself

    At 55 years old I'm starting to realize that I'm gay, even though I'm married to a woman and I haven't had much experience with men. I would definitely be with a man on a full-time basis if I was to get divorced from my wife. I have no shame with the idea.

  4. #4

    Re: Accepting myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Pantyhoseguy88! View Post
    I know I?m bi but acting and wing ok with it even if it?s on the DL is a struggle . Anyone else relate to this I have so mischievous to lose if it ever came out .
    I am in the same boat. I am very curious but have no outlet and would lose everything if I got caught acting on my desires so I stay very closeted.

  5. #5

    Re: Accepting myself

    I'm in the same situation. My wife would definitely leave me if she ever found out that I've played with and want to continue playing with men. I'm not into men romantically, there's just something about seeing and touching another man's big, hard cock. The sneaking around adds to the excitement as well.

  6. #6

    Re: Accepting myself

    Quote Originally Posted by DLazguy View Post
    I'm in the same situation. My wife would definitely leave me if she ever found out that I've played with and want to continue playing with men. I'm not into men romantically, there's just something about seeing and touching another man's big, hard cock. The sneaking around adds to the excitement as well.
    I do know and have known many who are married but have that deep down need inside of them , and yes it is so very exciting to them .
    I have never ever had much use for labels ie straight, gay , bisexual , I have always just respond that I am sexual very very sexual

  7. #7

    Re: Accepting myself

    I too struggle as I am married and it is sexless.. I suppose I am bi or some other label for someone into women but interested in cock only .. relationship romance it is women only but I am interested in sucking more cock and having a guy suck me too

  8. #8

    Re: Accepting myself

    Maybe I?m off base. I am 62 and still horny. I love my wife and women in general. Major fan for the female form. It is my experience women start their sexual experiences early and fade. Men start later and continue into our old age. As we age, women look more for romance and not sex. Us men want a connection, sex, touching without the mess of romance. Since women lose interest, it is our nature to look for other outlets. Speaking for myself, I just find it easier and less complicated finding another man than another woman. So I spend most of my spare time looking to get my cock sucked or sucking a cock.

  9. #9

    Re: Accepting myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Odge1 View Post
    Maybe I?m off base. I am 62 and still horny. I love my wife and women in general. Major fan for the female form. It is my experience women start their sexual experiences early and fade. Men start later and continue into our old age. As we age, women look more for romance and not sex. Us men want a connection, sex, touching without the mess of romance. Since women lose interest, it is our nature to look for other outlets. Speaking for myself, I just find it easier and less complicated finding another man than another woman. So I spend most of my spare time looking to get my cock sucked or sucking a cock.
    I totally agree with this that is my main reason no sex at home , done cheating with women and alwys complicated and high risk. Just want a buddy so we can service each other

  10. #10

    Re: Accepting myself

    I agree with you 100%. Whether it's with a man or a woman, its just sex, physical pleasure. I just want to experience as much pleasure as I can. Safely.

  11. #11

    Re: Accepting myself

    It took me years to simply accept that there's nothing wrong with me for having the desire and the experience of sucking another man's cock, but...

    I need to keep it secret from my gf, who I love and who would not accept that aspect of my sexuality. There are a number of my friends who would never look at me in the same way. I am likely wrong about how some of them would see me if they found out, but there are others with whom the entire dynamic of our friendship would change...or disappear.

    I don't mind one bit keeping it secret as that aspect of it adds to the eroticism of it for me. I like sneaking to secretly suck cocks.

  12. #12

    Re: Accepting myself

    I have told an untold number of bisexual men and women that when it comes to acceptance, the first person that has to accept that you're bisexual is... yourself. Everyone else is on a need-to-know basis and most of the people you know do not need to know. I don't know how many times I've heard guys - mostly - talking about how they fear their shit will get all fucked up if their woman or friends found out and I've asked them, "If you don't tell them, how would they know?" because only the most careless - or just unlucky - guys ever get caught in the act or wind up in a situation where, sorry to say, they can't lie their way out of it or execute a form of plausible deniability.

    Stage One: Accept that this is how you're feeling and thinking and those of you with, ah, prior experience? You've already done the deed before, maybe more than once, so accepting that you're bi should be easier than it would be for your brothers who have the thoughts and feelings and they want to jump-start Stage 3 of this.

    Stage Two: Carefully determine who really needs to know this about you and this is the scariest part of being bisexual because you find that you really don't know who you can share this with and without getting your ass handed to you. More "modern thinking" says that if you're already up to your eyeballs in Stage 3 of this and you have a wife or a girlfriend, you have to come clean to her and there's reason to do so if you're having raw sex with even one guy... which is why you shouldn't have raw sex with a guy and, sometimes, even if the one guy is a FWB and the question you should ask yourself about him is, "Do I know where his dick has been when he's not with me?"

    Otherwise, that crazy urge to come out to people could be a blessing or your worst nightmare so you really do have to think long and hard (no puns) about who you share this with and you gotta know that there are an untold number of guys (and gals) out there doing the deed and their partner doesn't know. Dishonest? Maybe... but in this, if you guess wrong about someone, the truth will absolutely set you free - and it's not going to feel good.

    Stage 3: Finding someone you can have sex with has always been a hit-or-miss proposition for a lot of guys since all the social bullshit makes a lot of guys you could have sex with stay hidden from "public view" because they, too, share the fear of discovery. The "mistake" I see a lot of guys making is being really and seriously picky about the type of guy they want to have sex with and while that's your right to do so, you narrow down the field to the point where there is no one who meets your criteria as a sexual partner - and now you're sitting around talking about not being able to find a guy you can have sex with when, in fact, there are so many guys out there who are looking for a guy they can have sex with that it's not even funny. I've told hundreds of men that as long as you make it hard for a guy to meet your "standards," you lower your chances of getting lucky to be able to take the plunge for the first time... or the first time in a long time.

    I know that when the world lost its collective mind about bisexuality being real - and what a fucking joke that was - one of the things that "the haters" put out there was that any guy you might want to have sex with, basically, comes equipped with a full load of every STD, STI, HIV I and II, and AIDS and as a matter of course. They instill the fear into bi guys - new and old - that if you have sex with someone you don't know, you will get infected. Not "there's a chance of it" but pretty much a guarantee and, sad to say, a lot of guys believe this and having stranger danger reduces your chances to find a guy to get busy with to damned near zero and for those of you looking for an FWB? Unless it's a guy you've already known for a lot of years, any potential FWB is going to start out as a "stranger" you might meet... if you're not afraid to.

    You have to be smart about any of this and it all begins with accepting that you're bisexual - then you figure out what you're going to do about this and even if the thing you do is... nothing at all.

 

 

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