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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was feeling even better than before... but not completely so but how I was feeling got... ignored when my friend told me to roll over onto my belly so he could stick it in and do it to me and I rolled over so fast I got dizzy - then sighed happily to feel his dick go in me and then, a little later, felt it twitching again. We traded places and I stuck it in him, did all that moving around, got hit with the funny feeling and now I was very aware of my dick twitching and it felt so good...

And after I pulled it out, I felt like myself again.

"You were horny," my friend said. "I know we did it but that first thing I showed you? It's called jerking off and you can do it when you feel like you did but there's no one around you can do it to - ain't that cool?"

Indeed it was! That was the day I learned how to masturbate and I spent two days playing with my dick - and just because I could - until it would start twitching and making me feel pretty good. As things turned out, on the third day after being taught how to jerk off, that's when I was doing it to my "girlfriend" and the funny feeling got so... intense and scary that I thought I was dying - and found out that I had done something special and important: I was now shooting the baby-making stuff!

Being able to do that, as it turned out, made me horny... a lot. If I wasn't playing with my dick - and I found out that now when I did that, whew - a lot of baby-making stuff would shoot out and my mind just "figured out" what that twitching was - shit, who knew? I was already getting into doing the nasty with both boys and girls but now that I was shooting the jizz - that's what I'd heard the grown up men calling it - it made me want to do it even more than before. It didn't seem to make a difference if it was sucking or fucking or even being fucked: When I was horny - what a strange word - just being able to make myself shoot jizz felt wonderful and it felt even better when I was doing it with someone else.

I didn't really understand it then but I'd eventually figure out that being horny - and the feeling itself - was pretty addictive and it always made me want to do it or to have one of the guys do it to me... and I was still spending a lot of time making myself shoot jizz and so much that I kinda almost got into trouble because my parents were noticing that a lot of toilet paper was being used up - oops! To be honest, I think they both knew what was happening to the toilet paper but neither of them said anything to me but it created a dilemma for me:

I could make my dick shoot jizz... and it was messy... but what to do after I shot it? I sensed that my parents were looking for any evidence that I was shooting jizz now - really looking at my sheets and even my socks, which didn't make sense to me but I wasn't sure what would happen but I knew I wasn't going to like it if they found evidence that I was shooting sperm now so I did the only thing I could think off:

I'd lick it off of my hand and fingers... and, oh, my goodness: Wasn't that an interesting taste? I remember the first time I did it; there was a lot of the stuff on my fingers and, um, kinda all over me; I had scooped it up - and as best I could - and now I've got it all over my fingers and I'm sitting there looking at it and still thinking about what to do with it and, no: It just did not occur to me to just go to the bathroom and wash my hands. I'd guess that something in my head said, "Fuck it - just go ahead and taste it because you know you want to..." and, yeah, I was very curious why the guys and gals who'd suck me until I shot jizz in their mouth either liked it or didn't so before I could chicken out, I just started licking my jizz off my hand and fingers.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I vividly remember the first time I was horny. I woke up that day feeling... edgy and jumpy; almost everything was making me mad or I'd feel sad - I didn't know what was going on but I knew I didn't like it and I wasn't going to mention it to my parents but I guess they noticed I wasn't quite myself and ordered me to stay inside - which also meant that one of our neighbors in our apartment building would be in and out to keep an eye on me.

Bummer. The good part was I could have company and, indeed, one of my friends came to the apartment looking for me because I wasn't outside. I told him I wasn't grounded but I couldn't go out and even he noticed that I wasn't myself and asked me what was wrong... and I couldn't explain it and I remember kinda not being able to stand still while I was failing at telling him what was wrong with me.

Then he asked, "Is your dick hard?"

I actually looked to see if it was and, damn - it was! He saw it, smiled, and said, "Let me show you something..."

My friend took his pants and underwear off and started playing with his dick with his fingers until it got hard... and kept right on playing with it until he was breathing hard, almost fell down a couple of times, then as I watch, I could see his dick twitching and when it stopped twitching, he stopped playing with it. What just happened?

"You try it - it'll make you feel better," he said. So I tried it and did my best to mimic what I had seen him do and before too long, that "funny feeling" I had associated with doing the nasty jumped all over me and so hard that I barely noticed that my dick was twitching just like my friend's had done.

And I felt better! Well, kinda. The two of us are standing in the middle of my room, naked from the waist down and both of our dicks were still hard; we looked at each other, looked down at each other's dick... and wound up in my bed and we were doing that "new" thing all of us had learned that allowed us to suck each other's dick at the same time. More funny feeling and I liked feeling a guy's dick doing that twitching in my mouth as I sucked it but, strangely, only just then noticing that my dick would twitch when somebody had my dick in their mouth - well, more like remembering.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The other day - and in response to the topic about Black cock - I kinda lost my cool and got to raving about my thoughts and feelings about it and for that, I am publicly apologizing to everyone here and anyone who my comment may have offended. I don't usually get so... pissy about this topic but, yeah, sometimes I do. I was raised to not look at or judge people by the color of their skin - ever. Look at what makes someone who they are and it's something I've never waivered from because I see the sense in it.

But I know how people can be about sex - and being funny about it doesn't come close to covering it. I have spent a large part of my bisexual life having sex with anyone - male and/or female - and race has not been a consideration in my mind... but I've also been either pursued or rejected out of hand because of the color of my skin - and that includes being rejected by my "own people."

It's a right and even a preference for many but the question I have always asked is why this should make a difference? I know the all about the hype and mystique involved and I know about the horror stories, too, and I'm sorry - that shit just pisses me the fuck off and, yeah, sometimes, I let my being pissed be known. I've sadly spent a lot of my life being dissed, disliked, and even hated because of the color of my skin and, well, you just get tired of it and I try not to let that get the best of me and like it did in my comments...

And I can't apologize enough for that. I said it and I meant it but I'm grown up and man enough to apologize to anyone I may have offended but I know and have learned that what really makes someone attractive - and attractive enough to have sex with - isn't always on the outside; it's not about the hype, myths, stereotypes or even the many horror stories I've heard. It's differences that out of necessity makes no difference to me... and I do recognize and respect that for others, it does make a difference.

It just rubs me the wrong way sometimes... so I felt the need to apologize.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[QUOTE=Warren63;345367]I regret the opportunities I was scared to take advantage of. An older cousin got me on my knees and lowered his pants, he got his cock all the way in my mouth ,and I wrapped my lips around it. He started sliding it in ,out, I got scared jumped up and took off . Had a close friend down the street. Whenever his parents went out I would stay with him. We would start jerking off and eventually started playing with each others dicks . His cock had me mesmerized, but I never got the courage to put it in my mouth. I regret that the rest of my life he could of had my mouth and eventually my ass if I'd had the nerve! Fucked many women ,eaten lots of pussy, still wish I'd been Mikes slut. Hoping to suck one soon.[/QUOTE]

I was in a bar and hooked up with a cute woman who turned out to be a CD / T. When we got to her place, I groped her and discovered her dick. WOW. I was surprised. As I now remember, it was beautiful. I was so surprised and unprepared, I left. Now I wish I had stayed and enjoyed. I was not out about my Bi / Gay feelings then. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Have never been with a T but would like to. Just don't know how to meet up...

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]While I understand our... innate need to be able to define things, well, that's just how it's always been: We have to call something... something and, yeah, we can be so contentious that we can look at the same thing at the same time and not agree on what it is we're looking at. Straight, bi, and gay, at the root of things, really don't mean anything... but the sex does. It's not what you do; not why you do it; not even really about who you're doing it with... but you're doing it just the same. It's just that for some of us, it makes no sense not to be able to enjoy sex and in the ways it can be enjoyed whether it's boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl, and yes - all of the above.

If you think it's different, it's always going to be different and, um, if you don't think it's all that different, then it won't be all that different and whatever you wanna call it - straight, bi, or gay - loses something in the translation because no matter what you wanna call it or how you do it... or who you do it with, it's still sex.

And who doesn't like having sex? Preferred ways and all that? Sure - just makes sense but I've always wondered, even rhetorically, why people just don't prefer to have sex first and foremost? I know the answer but, still, it doesn't matter whether the dick is big or little; it can be sucked and it can go into an ass. The person it's attached to? Lots of preferences here but why not prefer that someone is agreeable to having sex with you? Yeah, I know - that whole attraction thing but you know what? I found out that, at best, it's overrated because some of the best sex I've ever had has been with people who others would find physically unattractive and even generally speaking.

Even with these... differences being in play, it's still all the same to me: It's sex. They cum. I cum. Bob's your uncle and all that. Even without the cumming part, it's still intimate and two people doing what nature has programmed into all of us: The need and ability to have sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I'd often find myself in one of those "who does it better" debates and my perspective of sex had long since learned that people can only do the best they can do and with whatever they had to work with; I'd had good and "bad" sex with both guys and gals so, again, it was one of those differences that really didn't make that much of a difference because, either way, I was still having sex. While many people I knew had their own thoughts about what sex was good and what sex was bad, I'd be indifferent about that aspect. A lot of guys would say that if they didn't cum, the sex was bad or if whomever they were having sex with didn't want to do it the way they wanted to do it, it was bad and a bunch of other stuff that, at least for them, would draw huge lines between good and bad sex and I found that sex was - and is - better for me without thinking in terms of good and bad; it's still sex and just the nature of it means it's either gonna be all that or it isn't, and depending on what and how we've learned to think about sex.

I just didn't - and still don't - think about sex in the same way "a lot" of people do. Sucking cock or eating pussy? It's all the same to me and so was/is fucking someone and while that's obviously not the same as having a hard dick in my ass and getting creamed, it still just sex. Like most people, I'm not of a mind to have sex with someone I don't like for some reason but, yeah, I've done that, too, because I can set aside what I don't like about them so much in favor of having sex but, yeah - if I [B]really[/B]​ didn't like them, it just wasn't gonna happen.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I was seeing that how you thought about sex kinda shaped the way you had sex and while I - along with everyone else - had their favorite sex things to do, the only way I could see the two things as being different was if I thought of them as being different and beyond the obvious. To me, eating pussy was different from sucking dick... but the purpose was the same; fucking a girl in her pussy or her ass wasn't any different than fucking a guy in the ass since, duh, other than his mouth, the only place you could put your dick was his ass. Different sensations and all that but I kept returning to the root of it and now it was just a matter of whether or not it felt good or not so much and no matter who was naked with me.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And sometimes, it wasn't even about whatever sex I had being good or bad in that sense. I had sex and if nothing else, I'd shoot my load and feel all kinds of nice before that happened... most of the time. There were always those moments where I'd wind up asking myself why I thought it was a good idea to have sex with this girl or that guy... and that was mostly over the way they were acting about it. I'd walk away from the not-so-good moments, thinking and feeling some kind of way about it, but the question I would keep asking myself was did I have sex? Yep. And I even recognized that most of the time, I didn't think it was bad until after it was over although I'd sometimes realize that before it was over with.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I'd just chalk it up to experience and lessons learned; whether I felt good, bad, or indifferent about it, what remained at the root was that I had sex. Being straight, bi, or gay, it turned out, were just ways to describe some stuff like feelings... but the sex was still the sex whether it was just boy/girl, boy/boy, or that special combination of, really, anyone who wanted to do it with and to me.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I'd often point out to others that when you get right down to it, the differences we make in this don't make a whole lot of difference because it's still sex... and I'd wind up rolling my eyes to hear them say, "Yeah, but..." and then followed by whatever their thoughts about sex happened to be and, really, trying to inject differences into it that, at least to me, didn't really exist, like, what's the difference between a girl sucking your dick and a guy doing it? The person doing it... the act itself never changes. What's the difference between fucking a girl in the ass and doing it to a guy? Same answer. Sure, pussies and assholes are obviously different but both can be fucked and filled up with sperm. Later in life, I'd become aware of that subliminal feel, that "vibe" you can pick up on from other people; females have a certain feel that's different from how guys feel and I had found out that some guys can and do "feel" like a girl or woman - how about that?

Did it really change anything? Not really because sex, itself, was still at the root of it all and the only things that were different were how one wanted to go about having sex. Now it became a question of whether those differences really made a difference to me and I realized that they really didn't - but I was aware of them.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Even I had gotten into the "habit" of saying, "I really don't care who I'm having sex with... as long as I'm having sex..." and it was a sentiment - and a truthful one - that a lot of people couldn't make sense of and would lead to them asking, "Why would you want to have sex with another guy?" and then make the incorrect assumption that I was really gay. I'd respond - and without going into detail - by saying, "Because it's still sex - and who doesn't want to have sex?"

And few people seemed to get it; they were - and still are - stuck and rooted in the whys and hows of heterosexual sex and the ongoing angst about things homosexual and, again, totally overlooking the "sex" part of the equation and guys, well, pretty much everyone knew that we are very much hard-wired to want to have sex and if it's with another guy, that works and even without having the affinity for men - that's being all into men and men only or, yeah, gay. Even in the early days, everyone assumed that if a guy had sex with another guy, he likes men and in the same way he should like women... but gay men don't like women like that and, again, anyone who went both ways, well, who'd do that?

A lot of people would, truth be told and I knew I was one of them and while feeling other than lust could be involved, wanting to have sex with someone was still at the root of things so as far as I was concerned, it was all the same to me. It was about whatever would make you cum and feel good; most of the time it'd be good, sometimes not so much but in the end, the question would always be, "Did you have sex?" and the answer was always, "Yeah!"

A guy was fucking me one day and had asked me, "Do you like it better with boys or with girls?" The question broke the spell I was under - I was totally focused on what I was feeling and how I was feeling - and I think I might have said something it didn't make a difference to me but, later, his question came back to me and I tried to answer it for myself, remembered that I had said that it didn't make a difference and by the time I got tired of trying to sort out the pros and cons of sex with guys and gals, I saw that it really didn't make that much of a difference because either way, I was having sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]