All Blog Entries

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]And I remain the guy who has the nerve to talk about this aspect of it. We never want to experience the worst of times in this and we do whatever we can to avoid getting our own and personal horror stories and, seriously, the only way to avoid having your own book of horrors is to not have sex with men at all. It's why I actually do my level best to scare some guys straight - and literally so. Guys can and have asked, "How bad can it be?" and I'll say to them, "Make yourself comfortable because I'm about to tell you how bad it can be..." and I am not flinging any bullshit about it - that would be unethical and just unnecessarily cruel. I not only know about my worse times but I know about the worse times a lot of guys have had and if you want to know about this, I'm gonna tell you as much of what I know about it that you can stand or want to hear.

I'm not joking when I tell you that this is a life-changing event... and those changes aren't always as nice we might want to think they are or should be. It is exactly why my list of conditions includes a guy not being my idea of an asshole... and a lot of guys have failed to have sex with me because it's a test they can't pass... because I've had enough worse times to be able to see through the dumb shit and the bullshit and, oh, yeah, I'm a guy and because I have sex with women, I do know how to play the game, too, and I'm very good at it.

If you go into any of this thinking that whatever is going on is and should be about you, well, I hate to say it but you're about to learn some shit about men that you probably never really thought about before and it could be very, very ugly. True enough, there are guys who actually like and want to be treated "badly" - they want to be some guy's bitch, fuck toy, and cum dump and, honestly, there's actually nothing wrong with that... unless it's a way you prefer not to be treated - then that becomes a problem. I know I don't like it and those moment have made me feel worse than shit... but I learned to accept it as a learning experience and I do my best to avoid bad situations... but even I don't know if it's gonna be bad or not until I become aware that it's bad. I'm being honest when I say that a lot of times? I didn't feel all warm and fuzzy about the sex after it was over and done with... but while it was happening? Damn it - why did I think that sucking that guy's dick was gonna be a good idea? Honestly? Because I thought it would be and if I didn't like it at some point, that's not really my fault so much and if it wasn't going all that well, I can either stop - and I have done just that - or now it's about trying to make the best of a "bad" situation and being even more honest with myself? Did I get to suck a dick? I did. Did he dump cum into my mouth? Yeah, he did... and because that's exactly what I wanted him to do.

I just didn't like the way he did it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]If you are unable or unwilling to take the bad with the good, don't even think about having sex with another guy. If you think that getting some dick is always gonna be good and it's always gonna be the way you want it, you might want to reconsider that and I'm not just talking about any sex you might have with "a stranger" because even with a favored FWB, you just don't ever really know what's going on his his head at any given moment and more so when his dick gets hard.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And, I think it's important to add that should you have some bad moments, don't let it discourage you from having sex like this in the future. We have this... human thing going on with us that says if it was bad this time, it's always going to be bad and, truthfully? That's not always true, that and most of us tend to think that the sex was bad [/FONT][B]after[/B][FONT=verdana] it's over with and something that I've learned to ask guys, "Well, did you think it was bad while it was happening... or did you really say it was bad after the fact?"[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]A seriously important question and one based upon, if nothing else, what I learned about myself in this and, of course, being privy to a lot of guys' horror stories and, yep - most of the time? They said it was bad only after they had time to think about it after it was over with. Some guys would be like me in that somewhere in the middle of things, yeah - this was a bad idea and, yeah, it is strangely easier to just let it be finished than to get into a fight about it and more so when there's always that possibility that you could get your ass kicked on top of whatever you perceived to be not to your liking.

I tell guys that if you really don't understand why women behave the way they do about sex, when you start having sex with guys, you're gonna find out one way or the other and unless you're really "kinky," chances are that you're not gonna like it and then you're going to eventually wind up assing yourself out of any future chances to get some dick because you're going to do everything you can do to avoid whatever you thought was the worst sexual experience you've ever had. And I'll say it again: NO. It is not even easy to be able to put the bad things out of your mind because, again, we approach this shit in a kinda fucked up way: Just because it was bad this time doesn't mean it's gonna be bad - or worse - the next time... and if there's gonna be a next time.

I see guys laying down all kinds of rules and conditions and that's all well and good... and you're fooling yourself if you think some other guy is really and always gonna abide by your rules and conditions... because they might not. If you require a guy to be totally honest about his intentions toward you? Shit... I wouldn't do that because I know -and because I learned it - that men will say and do [B]anything[/B] they have to do or say to have sex with you and the bad part is that you usually won't and don't know if he's being truthful and sincere or you're about to be just a piece of ass to him or otherwise a means to his ends; you're just some guy he gets to bust a nut into in some way and it's off to the next guy. Shit... catching something nasty is really the least of your concerns when it comes to shit like this.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I stupidly set myself up to be raped by a guy. He drugged me and while I was out of my mind, he tied me up and had his way with me repeatedly until whatever he drugged me with wore off, I got free, and I did my level best to kill him; I beat him into a bloody mess, tied him up on the bed - and better than he had tied me up - and left him for dead. And here's the bad part: Not only was I dumb enough to get tricked into, when I had time to really think about it, oh, my god - the sex was actually very good and even in my drug-induced haze, I knew I was enjoying it... and I hated myself for being stupid... and for liking everything he did to me that day.

That incident made me change the way I thought about what was good and what was bad because the thing I had to come to terms with - and it wasn't easy to do that - was the sex was only "bad" after it came to an end... but while it was happening? Um, yeah. I still don't know what he drugged me with but I don't - or can't - remember my dick getting soft at any point. He was sucking me and making me cum and, of course, filling my ass with cum... and, shit, with care at that. I was coming out of the fog and he was fucking me... and my dick was hard and I was even cumming; he busted his nut in me - again - then moved to sit right down on my dick - again - and rode me until I came again. He got off me, left the room for something, but I had shaken off whatever he had dosed me with, gotten free, and waited for him to return.

And tried to kill him. And then realized that I tried to kill him because of my own stupidity and that I wasn't so much mad at him as I was with myself... and, oh, yeah, the sex was pretty damned good. Try to imagine what it's like to be made to understand some shit like that - and then come to terms with it all by yourself... and then being made to see some "terrible" truths, not just about other guys, but about yourself.

And even that fateful day didn't stop me from wanting and needing to have sex with other guys... but it did make me be even more careful and, dare I say, a bit paranoid? It was a "bad" time that, along with the other bad times I had, taught me some very valuable lessons, both where other guys were concerned and myself as well and none of those lessons were easy to learn or accept as the true reality of how things can be when one guy wants to have sex with another guy... because it just might not happen the way you expect it to or as it was promised. If nothing else, that one incident taught me that if I ran into another situation that even remotely resembled that one, I actually had the skill to make them stop if they didn't stop when I asked them to.

And a lot of guys didn't like the way I'd stop them and, really, if he's gonna treat me badly, why should I be the only one to get some shitty treatment? But here's the thing I will tell any guy:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I would run into guys looking for their first time and I found value in telling them what to expect... both the good and the bad of it. Some would say that they "knew" that it could be bad because they heard that it could be... and I'd insist that while that was all well and good, they really had no idea just how fucked up things could get and that, because they'd yet to have an experience, they really don't have a personal point of reference. And I'd tell them that they didn't have to believe me... because I knew that, eventually and invariably, they were gonna find out and that it was gonna make them feel some kind of way about it... and that way wasn't even gonna be good.

I knew of guys who had gotten their first time... and it was awful - and that's being nice about it. It was bad enough that the other guy bullshitted them into having sex but then the sex didn't happen as promised and left them all fucked up in the head and the guy who fucked their head up was nowhere to be found, leaving them to deal with the ugliness on their own.

And I became determined to not let that happen to anyone who came to me and wanted to have their first - or even second - time with me. I knew what it was like to be "used and abused" like that, to be treated like a piece of ass and nothing more and to be left having to deal with those feelings on my own. And then, there's this:[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Experience has taught me enough for me to tell you that you really don't want to know what this feels like. I know guys would prefer to avoid such situations but it's my thought that you might not be able to fully appreciate what this really means until you have a guy just do you all rotten and shit - and then walk away from you like you meant nothing to him or, to make matters worse, you just might see him again because he knows he's gonna have you like that again and no matter how you say that it ain't gonna happen.

And do you wanna know the funny part? It doesn't always sour a guy on having sex again with someone else. Even I've had those moments when, after a guy gets done using me, I've said that I'll never do it again... and I'd do it again anyway, not just because I wanted or needed to but because I believed - and it had been proven - that it wasn't always going to be bad or my worst nightmare made real or not all guys turned into total assholes once their dick got hard. But yeah - some would be all Jekyll and Hyde about it and, again, not giving a damn if you were enjoying any of it or not. And if you thought that you were gonna get a chance to do the same things to them? Yeah... forget that shit! Nothing would make me feel worse than having a guy bust a nut - or two - somewhere in me... and then he vanishes like he was never there or when you go to make a move on him, he reneges on his promise to let you bust a nut somewhere in or even on him. Nope - ain't gonna happen... and there ain't shit you can do about it short of trying to kick his ass - and even that really doesn't mean a whole lot since he's already unloaded his spunk into you - he got what he wanted already.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I grew up learning those lessons and experiencing the worst of times. I try not to think about the many times some guy has been ramming his cock down my throat or slamming it into my ass so hard that I'm about to throw up or otherwise feel like I'm being mugged. It was sickening to have to listen to what a guy really thought about you because you thought it would be great to have sex with him... then you find out that you're just being the girl he thought you were and you mean nothing more to him than a means to a creamy end. Or finding out that your need and desire for him to take it easy when he sticks it in gets summarily ignored.

How many times have I laid under a guy and kicking my own ass for thinking that having him in my ass was what I really wanted and needed and finding myself literally praying for him to hurry up and cum - and then praying some more that he wouldn't want to do it again? Too many times and, really, once is - and can be - one time too many. I can still remember the first time I fell for a guy's bullshit and the sex wasn't even close to what had be promised; you wanna talk about feeling used and so dirty no amount of soap and water will ever get you clean? And then more so when the guy who just dumped a load of sperm in your ass doesn't even bother to "apologize" for things - and as they might put it - getting out of hand and promises of a good time didn't even show up? Or the shame and ugliness that can be felt and bring you to silent tears as a guy has a vice-grip on your head and fucking his cock hard and deep into your mouth and throat - and telling you to be a good little girl or bitch and suck his dick... and because he's a man... and he says you aren't even close to being a man, you little faggot.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]If nothing else, experience not only teaches you what's good about something, you also get exposed to what isn't good about something. While most of my sexual experiences with men were good, some of them were not so good. I've always said that when a guy embraces bisexuality, he will eventually learn pretty much everything women know about being involved with men and especially what women just do not like about us.

You can't begin to understand how miserable and ugly it feels to have a guy have sex with you and not really give a flying fuck about whether or not you're enjoying it and I, like a lot of guys, found out the hard way what it feels like to be treated as and only like a piece of ass. Or what it's like to be subjected to all of the lies and other bullshit that, sadly, men have subjected women to just to be able to deposit sperm inside of them. Many guys find out that sometimes, being subjected to a man's lust isn't as much fun at one might think - and I know a lot of guys, and including myself, who changed the way they interacted with women because we learned - and usually the hard way - that we didn't like guys doing to us... and what some of us were doing to women.

You get to find out what it's like to be prey when you notice a guy looking at you and with a look you recognize... because you look at women the same way... and it makes you very uncomfortable and, if nothing else, you get to understand why women can't stand it when a guy undresses her with his eyes and is looking at her like she'd be good to eat - and literally so in this context... and even more so when having sex isn't even running around in your head.

That "I won't cum in your mouth if you suck my dick" thing? You really can't understand this until you have a guy tell you that and swear to God that he won't do that... and you wind up with a mouthful of sperm. Or he tells you that he doesn't want to fuck you and isn't going to... and the next thing you know, he's trying to shove his dick in your ass. And then, if things couldn't get any worse, you find out why some women just kinda lie there and take being dicked down because while one can demand an immediate withdrawal, it's not worth the hassle and bullshit that's gonna show up: It's just "easier" to take the dick and fervently wish that he'd hurry up and cum and leave you the fuck alone, now and forever.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3]Hi! I'm a broke college kid and am desperate for some bisexual folks to fill out a survey for some research I'm doing at the University of Michigan (we're just researching gender differences in sexual experience). Bisexual men's voices are highly underrepresented in general research, so anything you feel like contributing would be hugely appreciated! It's all 100% anonymous, of course, and feel free to share!

[/SIZE][COLOR=#1155CC][FONT=Arial][URL]https://umich.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_e4mUOoZrC62tKjH[/URL][/FONT][/COLOR]