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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]By day three, I was too through with doing it with boys; it was becoming too much the same thing and I'd often find myself thinking about why this wasn't so much fun even while doing it with a guy - and it didn't help my situation any having a horny-assed little brother who was very much still head over heels about doing the nasty.

There were many, many times when I just wanted to say no and to say I didn't feel like it and the thing that didn't help matters any was that I couldn't say no and I was kinda lying when I'd say I didn't feel like it; I had realized that I hated being bored and with nothing to do more than getting some dick was bothering me. I was going through the motions without that seriously nasty thrill that we all admitted we were hooked on but, still, it was fun to do it with one of the guys - just not as much fun as it had been last week or any time before that.

I could be sucking a guy's dick and I'd feel... detached from it and on day five of this very weird week, I was sucking my fourth guy of the day and my heart just wasn't in it; he had shot his jizz in my mouth and when he finished, I laid down so he could suck me and even though my dick was all in the game, the rest of me wasn't so much and when I shot my jizz, it felt good... but not as good as before...

And I still couldn't figure out what was going on. It wasn't just me - a lot of the other guys were feeling the same way about it; yet, none of us gave any thought to not doing it. The fifth guy that day and I had just finished fucking each other for the second time and I was tired and not looking forward to the pre-arranged sleepover that weekend with this same guy... and he wasn't all that thrilled about it either.

"Maybe we should call it off?" he asked.

"Maybe we should," I agreed and we decided to let our peeps know that the sleepover was off... but we didn't do that and that Friday found us together at his home and in his bed doing the one thing neither of us really felt like doing.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]By the time I was 11, there were no less than 20 of us neighborhood boys running around and having sex with each other. The thrill of being so... nasty hadn't really worn off of me and, in later years, I'd attribute it to the fact that the overall thrill was kept going every time a new guy joined in on the fun...

But at one point that summer, sucking and fucking each other got "old," and "bothersome" because myself - and, really, none of us, could leave home without running into a guy or two (or more) who'd want to go somewhere so we could have sex. That first week of this feeling saw me doing it guys no less than three times a day and by the second day of this marathon, I was pretty bummed out about it all but given that, on this particular summer, there wasn't much to do - well, not until I went to summer camp in August - many of us would be roaming around either alone or in bunches trying to figure out what we could do to keep ourselves from being bored and getting into trouble...

And the answer was always, "Hey, do you wanna do it?" and I know my response lacked my usual enthusiasm and I'd shrug and say something like, "Might as well - ain't nothing else to do..." I'd go with either a single guy or some number of us would head for one of the many places we used to do our dirt and, again, by the second day, my eagerness to do it wasn't as off the charts as it previously had been.

It wouldn't be until I got much older that I'd get around to realizing that getting some dick had become so routine that it had taken a lot of the shine off of it. Get to a hideout; strip down; lots of sucking and fucking and depending on who I was with or what guys were in the mix. Sucking one guy while another guy was in my ass seemed like, in today's terms, too much like work and I'd find myself being annoyed over things that, before that week ever happened, never annoyed me.

What was going on here? How come this wasn't as much fun as it had been last week?[/SIZE][/FONT]

Hello papacock here and I'm hoping to find someone to enjoy some quality time with. I'd like someone younger but age or size really doesn't matter to me. I enjoy giving and getting oral and I will swallow if you're clean and disease free. I'd like a regular basis for sex and don't care about nationality or color. Just need some cock in my life

thank u

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning - and as a lot of guys were as well - that it's not all that easy to make the sex really good for someone else when a lot of your mental focus was on not being as excited to have sex and as you were supposed to be. Sure... I understood why a guy would tell me not to make him cum too fast since, being older, the chances of being one and done were greater now and "reloading the gun" might not happen in the time we had together. Or, with my control firmly in place, I'd find myself dealing with a somewhat irate guy who, from his position, is convince that I'm not as excited to have sex with him as I said I was.

I was learning that depending on who you were with, you couldn't win for losing and that going out of your way to contain my own excitement so that the sex could be more enjoyable for the other person, more often than not, made things not all that good for me. Oh, I'd be happy that they enjoyed themselves or, eh, sometimes they didn't because, again, as far as they could tell, I wasn't in the least bit excited to have this chance to have sex with them. There wasn't too much I thought was bad to have a woman tell me to be in control of myself... but to not be in control because women, more than men, well, it didn't take a whole lot for them to get it in their head that I wasn't excited to have sex with them when, in truth, I really was but I was expected to be in complete control of my excitement, too, so that the sex could last a good long time... or they'd gotten to that point where whatever I was doing to homegirl was, in her mind, taking too long.

I had to learn how to be very excited and even nervous... and get it under some kind of control and in a hurry but not so much under control that I might appear to be disinterested or, worse, I might not be able to cum at all which, was both a good and very bad thing at the same time with a lot of people I'd have sex with. It was - and still is - a bitch of a thing to really deal with and one of the side-effects of this very conflicting thing was - is - that I'd often be... indifferent and to the point where I'd sacrifice my own pleasure and excitement and while it felt good to be able to lay waste to someone because I'd contained my own excitement, eh, it didn't always feel that good; I mean, fuck - what was the point in any of this if you're supposed to be excited but not be all that excited at the same time?

I'd eventually come to the frame of mind that I just wasn't going to contain my excited nervousness and whatever happened, well, it just happened and if that meant that I'd have to suck more dick or eat more pussy to make the sex good and better for the other person, so be it and more so because having to go that extra mile was, at least for me, also very much exciting and sometimes even funny to have creamed a woman's pussy and see the look on her face or feel her body reacting when I'd go back down on her or to suck a guy off and instead of pulling away, I keep right on sucking him... and sometimes, I wasn't doing it for their benefit but for my own since I had to put my own excitement on the shelf so they could enjoy themselves.

Can't win for losing, very damned if you do and very damned if you don't. If I'm not excited and you're not aware that I am, well, there's probably something wrong with me because I'm not gonna hide how excitedly nervous I am and can be because it's not fun to do that and I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm not hyped to have sex with them and if they don't like it, well, we can do it again... or not; your choice. Sex is supposed to fun and exciting and you're supposed to feel it and revel in it; otherwise, what's the point in doing it at all?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Getting older didn't really change that with me a whole lot and while I had learned to get my excited nervousness under some semblance of control, it didn't stop me from feeling it before anything really got started. Some guys mistook my excited nervousness as being scared to do it which was [B]never[/B] the case and I'd have to reassure them that I wasn't scared at all... but I was very excited to have this chance to do it with another guy. That was about the time I was also learning that there were some guys who were... big time assholes and so much that I'd go from being excitedly nervous to feeling like I needed to jump up and either run away... or punch him in the face and it didn't make me happy to learn that there were guys who could just not make doing it the kind of fun that was expected and even promised.

It was kinda conflicting since one was supposed to be excited and even nervous to have sex but being this way could be a bad thing, too; it didn't feel all that good to be doing it with someone - even a girl - who didn't show any excitement and/or nervousness but I'd learn that if they felt that way, they were doing everything they could not to show it in any way and that's about the time I learned some stuff about how we can use someone else's excitement to enhance our own excitement. It was like you had to be more in control... but not be so much in control.

I used to get really pissed off to close my mouth around a guy's dick and before I could even get started sucking him, I'd find myself with a mouthful of cum because he was so excited about things. Or I'd be lying there with my ass all ready to take his dick, I'd feel it pressing against my hole and I'm waiting for that painful but very nice feeling of it going in but what I'd feel was his dick pumping and that warm, wet, and sticky feeling of his cum not going in me. It took me a while to learn not to get so pissed off about it and to really understand that this was something that just happened even though a lot of people - and especially girls - just hated for this to happen and many weren't all that understanding about it and even I didn't like someone fussing at me over something I kinda/sorta didn't really have any control over and because sex was just so exciting.

I know that myself and a lot of guys wound up learning that trick of thinking of something... disgusting or anything that would distract us and take away from being excited about having sex so that "cumming too fast" wouldn't happen but the thing we didn't really make a connection with was that while we could try to tone it down as much as we could in our minds, um, our bodies would, more often than not, have other ideas and while a lot of guys were really good at controlling themselves, some guys just weren't all that good or they weren't consistently good at it.

I just learned not to be pissed off if a guy "came too fast" and I'd realize that there was no point to be pissed off since, um, didn't he do what I wanted him to do in the first place? He did but, uh, it would have been nicer if he had gotten his dick in my ass before he came - just saying. I also had to learn not to be embarrassed when I was the guy who lost his load before it was ready to be received and to deal with the conflicting things that said, again, that on the one hand, I should and need to be excited about having sex but, on the other, not to be all that excited and then dealing with the downside of that and having someone fussing at me because I didn't seem or appear to be excited to have sex with them, let alone enjoy whatever we were doing.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. That crazy-assed notion that you're supposed to be excited and can even be nervous but you're not really supposed to feel like that or you could get "cussed out" for taking way too long to cum and, yeah, even I would get pissed because a guy was taking way too long to cum in my ass and now him fucking me was getting to be way to uncomfortable which, of course, would just wipe out any feelings of being excited and now I'm lying under him and wondering why I thought having him fuck me was such a great idea to begin with. Or finding myself sucking a dick for a very long time and wearing myself out trying to get him to cum and because he had such great control - or he had jerked off before we got together - that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon or, sometimes, at all.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One of the things none of us could, at first, figure out was how we could feel like we just shot our stuff but when we looked to see if we did, there was nothing to be seen - what was that about? Of course, we didn't know jack shit about orgasms and that even guys could have them without cumming; all we knew was that we could get that [B]really[/B] good feeling that we just associated with shooting... except we didn't shoot. Some of us were very afraid that either something was broken and not working right or, oh, no - this was God "striking us down" for being so nasty!

Yeah... neither thing was even close to being right but, boy, did it feel pretty good! It was funny to, say, having a guy fucking you and you'd feel his body reacting like he just shot his stuff... and you'd ask him if he did and he would say that he wasn't sure if he did or not... but it sure felt like it, didn't it? When it was me lying there with a dick in my ass, yeah - I would feel that twitching and jerking in my butt and I was sure the guy had shot his stuff in me, only to find out that he hadn't done that yet which was a good thing.

Now, there was that one time when I was happily sucking on a friend's dick and I was so into it that I felt like I was shooting my stuff... and I found out that I actually did shoot! I probably wouldn't have known it had it not been for the way I was arranged and I wound up shooting my stuff all over my leg and had shot quite a bit of it on his. We were both mad as wet hens but, again, it wasn't like my "gun" wouldn't be reloaded and ready to shoot again in record time and besides - that just gave me more time to keep sucking his dick so he could shoot his tasty stuff into my mouth.

Man... the shit we didn't know about what we were doing and why things happened the way they did was beyond belief; what we did know - and if we didn't know anything else - was that it just seriously felt good to do it to and with another boy and, again, sometimes better than it felt doing it to a girl and many of us learned some "painful" lessons about shooting our stuff too soon with girls and I thought it was funny because on the one hand, they didn't want us to shoot our stuff in them because they could get into trouble (get pregnant) but, on the other, they very much wanted us to shoot it in them... then sometimes get mad because we did. A girl would tell us not to shoot in her and, yeah, like we had anything that resembled control over that!

It was... easier to deal with knowing that boys weren't so much about controlling stuff because we very much wanted the stuff to be shot and as many times as was possible and one of the early complaints a lot of us had was, "What's taking you so long to shoot?" One of the things I learned and that mystified me was being so nervous and excited that I couldn't shoot and no matter how badly I wanted to. With some guys, jeez, they'd be so nervous and excited that their dick wouldn't get hard or it would get hard but then get soft when it wasn't supposed to and, no, he didn't shoot and it would sometimes take a long time before he could get hard again.

We didn't know shit about being overstimulated or that there was such a thing but, together, we learned that when that happened, the easiest way to deal with it was to just stop and take a break until whoever this happened to calmed down enough so whatever we were doing could get done and stuff got shot. Once, a guy was fucking me and it was feeling great then I felt his dick get soft in me and I knew that his dick was going to come out of me so I told him to not move - just stay still so his dick could stay in. He was lying on top of me and being still and I knew I was on to something when, maybe a minute or so later - and after he had calmed down - I could feel him getting hard again in my ass and, whoa: Didn't that feel really good? And the fatter the guy's dick was, the better that felt! Who knew?

None of us did... but we all learned it. Some guys would be so nervous and excited getting ready to do it that they'd actually throw up... and there were a few times when the guy would throw up on me - yuck! - but when I'd ask him what was wrong, the answer was, "I'm just too nervous, that's all!" Sometimes that put the sex on hold and for another time but, depending on where we were and if we had access to water and something to wipe the throw-up up, it was just take a break, get it together, and once that happened, now we can get back to doing it to each other and as planned.

Lord only knows how many times I was so nervous and excited that I wanted to throw up, too, and could even taste that nasty, bitter taste in my mouth along with having a lot of really salty spit in my mouth - ew! But I'd manage not to throw up and tell the guy that, no, I'm not gonna throw up on you - I'm okay now. It was... bad enough that I learned, the hard way, that a guy could stick in dick in your ass so fast that it just made you want to throw up and, um, yeah... I did that a few times and it's pretty embarrassing if nothing else and just another one of those things that many of us was learning that we needed to be more in control of and to not let our excited nervousness get the best of us and ruin what could be some even more exciting sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Each and every time it was a given that I was gonna get to have sex with a guy, holy shit - I can't begin to explain how nervous and excited I'd get! Shit, once, between being severely horny and overly excited as a friend and I went off to have sex, I almost passed out and it was only because I had a chance to sit down for a moment - while my friend checked to make sure the coast was clear - that I avoided that embarrassing situation.

Heart pounding so hard and fast I could hear my pulse in my ears and my dick would be painfully hard just thinking about what was about to happen and there were times when I'd either have that tell-tale wet spot on the front of my pants or, upon removing my underwear (weather permitting, of course), my dick would be stuck to my underwear because of oozing so much "juice," as we called it back then. While I'd be nervous and excited when it was a girl I was gonna do the nasty do, it didn't really compare to the levels I'd find myself experiencing when dick was about to be had.

It was all I could do, in the majority of times, to keep from spraying my stuff all over the place before anything got started and, sometimes, the other guy would be so excited that he'd wind up doing just that which was kinda funny but not so much... and it was a good thing that it didn't take us very long to "reload the gun" so that the sex could begin in earnest.

It was a good thing that a lot of the sex happened while lying down because my legs would often be so shaky it wasn't even funny. Because I wasn't the only one who'd experience this level of excitement, when we weren't having sex, we'd talk about anything we could do to not be that anxious and jittery or how and/or why some of us could shoot the stuff without even being touched, like while sucking on the other guy's dick. For us, that was some pretty strange shit that felt good but not really and sometimes it would be bothersome or quite the surprise to find yourself just about to close your mouth around a guy's dick - and get shot in the face which was funny sometimes and, then again, not so much since a lot of us were of a mind that the baby making stuff wasn't to be wasted like that.

Quite a few of us would often ask each other why something we were doing as a matter of course was still so damned exciting and we figured out that it was the fact that we weren't supposed to be having sex at all, let alone with another boy, was what made it horribly and, sometimes, embarrassingly exciting. Oh, my... there were so many times when I'd be all nice and comfortable lying down across a guy and sucking his dick like it was the second best thing in the world to have in my mouth but my whole body would be vibrating something fierce. It was quite concerning, at first, but I finally realized - and a lot of us did - that not only could we not do anything about it, it seemed to be normal to be very excited and we'd eventually learn not to pay attention to it and, indeed, if we didn't feel like we were about to jump out of our skin - and the other guy didn't look like he felt that way - we would think that one or the other really didn't want to do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]