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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Guys were turning into "specialists" - the thing we know today as tops and bottom and there were few guy who were willing to be both ways. Guys were so busy protecting their reputation or being very fearful of whatever woman they were involved with finding out that pussy wasn't the only thing they liked and wanted that I could tell that a lot of them very much wanted to do something... but were just too afraid to. There were always gay guys looking for guys to have sex with but even they'd get pissy about it when they learned that I wasn't gay like they were but, sure, there were gay men who didn't care if my dick and mouth were involved with the much-hated pussy; I had a good sized dick; I sucked dick and didn't mind being fucked and had no qualms about being sucked or dumping a load of cum in gay asses.

It just wasn't easy to make happen. The Internet came on the scene along with bulletin boards where guys looking for guys to have sex with were booming and while there was, at least for me, a lot of dick to be had, it still wasn't as easy as I thought it should be and being introduced to flakes and fakes was just a straight-up bummer... but I'd resolved myself not to lose any sleep over it because it wasn't like I couldn't get some dick but because a lot of guys were making it almost impossible to do that, well, there was some sense in being "just as picky and selective" as they were being.

We get to the here and now... and everyone seems to have their panties in a bunch about it. One can still get some dick but guys were making it even more difficult to do so by being, let's say, too specific and particular about things. Nothing had me shaking my head in disbelief more than to be told that, nope, we can't do anything because my skin was the wrong color or my dick wasn't big and fat enough or because I'd learned the hard and painful way about shaving my junk bald - ingrown hairs that required surgical intervention - there were guys who would vanish like smoke to learn that I had pubic hair and my keeping it trimmed short wasn't good enough. I was beyond dumbstruck to have a guy tell me that I was too tall for him and, more than a few times, I'd had guys tell me that my dick was too big or we couldn't do anything because I didn't have foreskin.

And I'd find myself sitting and asking myself, "What the fuck is going on?" and, importantly, "Why are guys making this harder than it has to be?" The answer was easier than getting some dick to play with: The social stigma was doing a good job of making guys leery and, well, flat-out afraid. The "ease" of getting some dick online went by the wayside not only due to the many fakes and flakes but there were - and still are - a lot of outright assholes online being very pushy and demanding and then bad-mouthing you and insulting your manhood when, say, you didn't drop everything you were doing and go service them immediately if not sooner. Or if you weren't going to do whatever they wanted. Or some guy would either get ghost or get surly and pissy when they'd demand that I come right now and suck their dick and I tell them that they're gonna have to suck my dick, too - only to have them trying to tell me that I wasn't a "real man" by telling them that whatever they planned on doing to me, I was going to do the same thing to them.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Summertime was the best time. No school to worry about; being sent out to play early in the morning and after breakfast just lent itself very well towards opportunities to do the nasty and with anyone who wanted to as well. If you were like me and had friends in other parts of the city, if you couldn't find someone to do it with "at home," you could always go hang out with them because you knew that if there was a chance to do it, it was gonna get done.

With school in session, there were still opportunities to do it during the week, you know, if you got your homework done and were allowed outside for a while but, if not, there was always the weekends and even the chance to have a sleepover with a friend during the weekend. And while things like family vacations or, for me, going away to a summer camp for a month, would drastically reduce being able to do with your friends, there were always other opportunities for The Questions to come up, be answered in the positive and you could find yourself doing some sucking and fucking easily enough.

And then you get older and being able to do it became more difficult. Guys were leery about making their desires known because anyone who got singled out as being a faggot or a queer - and even if that wasn't the truth about them - was catching all kinds of hell from being unmercifully teased to getting beaten up. I saw that the older I got, the less easy it was to have sex with a guy, not because there were no guys who didn't want to do it like that - they were just too afraid to. I realized that there was... something about me that would tell other guys that if they asked, I would say yes; and while I had learned that there were some guys you should never say yes to - and no matter how much I wanted to do it - I was "fortunate" to not have that many problems getting some dick, even if it was just sucking dick, which was fine with me because while I liked being fucked and doing some fucking, I loved sucking dick (and being sucked) even more.

Because I ate pussy, being able to do it with a girl wasn't a problem so while a lot of guys were going through that teenaged drought, I never did. For better or worse, I was known to be the guy who, if you wanted to get laid, I was the guy to find and talk to. That and I was... charming and, as one girl said, "A smooth talking devil..." getting laid wasn't that much of a problem and I knew that even if a girl didn't want to, I'd be able to run into a guy who would definitely want to. And it didn't hurt to know that I had a good-sized dick, either.

Going into adulthood, however, saw getting some dick to be very problematic. Guys, in particular, were just too afraid to let it be known that they were "like that." The usual STDs were going through yet another boom time which made getting laid difficult and by the time HIV arrived on the scene, being able to get some dick became even more difficult... for most guys, anyway. Even the guys who wanted to get busy weren't exactly making it easier for them - or for me - to get anything done and even asking a more grown-up version of The Questions was proving to be a huge problem.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Again, I didn't pay too much attention to what was going on with the other guys who were like me - and when we weren't doing it to each other like the fiends we were - but I found out quickly that there weren't too many places I could go and not run into a guy who would decide that asking me The Questions would be a good idea. One of the things I realized when I got much older was that during the early times, I [B]never[/B] had to ask either of the questions... because someone was always asking me. It wasn't that I had a problem asking The Questions but it always turned out that someone would ask me before I could ask them.

In a lot of situations, the guy asking the first question was asking to find out if he was really the only one who was thinking about doing it with a boy and if the answer was yes, then it was time to play a "20 Questions" kind of thing - what was it like, does it feel good to have it done to you in the hiney - stuff like that and, oh, yeah - are you shooting The Stuff? Add on the question of whether or not you played with yourself and by the time all of these Questions got asked and answered, young dicks would be very hard and doing something about that became a very exciting necessity. I mean, really: Who didn't want to do it with another boy and more so when everybody knew it wasn't allowed?

It was just way too easy. Two main Questions to be asked and answered. And if a guy was too afraid to do it - and despite being very eager to - it wasn't that big of a deal and, a lot of times, a guy who was too afraid at that moment would eventually stop being all that afraid and among my very horny friends, if there was a guy who didn't want to do it in any way with a boy, well, there had to be something wrong with them! And the only thing any of us were deathly afraid of was getting caught doing it and especially in the time I was growing up because that was the time that any adult in the neighborhood who caught you doing anything you shouldn't be doing could beat your ass, drag you home, tell your parents what they caught you doing and you could now look forward to getting your ass beaten again.

Despite this, it didn't do a whole lot to stop us from pulling our dicks out and putting them to good use.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've been a student of bisexuality ever since I learned the word and connected it to how I was having sex with both boys and girls and despite the level of adherence to morality in those early days, it was so easy to have sex with someone and especially boys.

You could always tell the guys who were interested because you would eventually be asked The Questions, plural because there were two of them. The first, which indicated curiosity, was always, "Have you ever done it with another boy?" and "it" was, of course, have sex (or doing the nasty as we called it). The second, which could have a dual meaning was, "Do you wanna do it?" This one usually meant the guy asking the question had done it before and wanted to do it right then and there but sometimes it meant that, if the first question was asked and answered with a yes, it was an offer to sneak off somewhere and do it to each other.

While some guys would be a bit hesitant to ask the second question of someone that, say, they just met, there would be a bit less hesitation to ask the first question and I never figured out why it was "easier" to ask the first question than the second but it was what it was but if you knew a guy or met a new one and got to talking long enough - and I'm talking minutes and not days - you could bet anything you cared to that you'd be asked one or both of the questions.

Now it was simply a matter of how you answered either of the questions: Yes or no. Now, sometimes and depending on who was doing the asking, if you said no to the question of ever doing it with another boy, the next question just might be, "Do you ever think about doing it like that?" which, depending on how you answered that one, might lead to the "official" second question and, yeah, sometimes, the guy asking that... middle question would just keep asking stuff along the same lines until you definitely said no or you "caved in" and said yes - and now it's time for the "official" second question to be proposed.

With guys you'd already done it with, there was no need to ask anything other than the second question and while there was always the choice of saying yes or no, yeah and usually, if a guy asked if you wanted to do it, your response would be, "Where?" Not "when" or "what." Making getting some dick even easier was that, most of the time, such conversations didn't take a whole lot of time, even when a guy had to get up the nerve to ask the question and then only in the situation where the two of you were just making each other's acquaintance and each other's coolness was established.

I didn't pay that much attention to how other guys dealt with this and The Questions but for myself? The answer to both was always yes [I]unless[/I] there was something about someone I'd just met that didn't sit well with me but that didn't happen a whole lot... at first, anyway. Otherwise, if a guy wanted to do the nasty with me, I was all for it and it never mattered what he wanted to do because, in the early goings, if you were into doing the nasty with boys, you both did it all: Sucking and fucking.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[QUOTE=Kpoore4;352172]Near Monroe here[/QUOTE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]We got cleaned up and dressed and as we did those things, Jim was talking a mile a minute; he was telling me that he hadn't been sure that I would agree to let him blow me, didn't expect me to blow him and didn't even expect me to fuck him. I heard him just fine but being in that moment of absolute clarity - and for as long as I was - was fucking with me because I just didn't know or understand why it would happen.

"Are you always like that?" he had asked.

"Like what?" I asked, wondering what he was talking about.

"So intense. So focused. I thought I was good at sucking dick but you've got me beat by a long shot!" he said.

"I do my best - and I'm glad you enjoyed it," was all I could say because if that's the impression I gave him, I knew I couldn't explain how involved but totally detached I was when he started sucking me and how it just kept going and nothing was breaking out of that place. I was still resolving this very annoying thing in my mind and, again, almost missed Jim saying that he hoped we could do this again and soon and that he was glad to have met someone who would fuck him and like he'd always wanted to be fucked.

I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to myself but heard my voice say, "Well, you can fuck me if you want to next time..." and dimly registered him saying that he'd rather be fucked and maybe something about not being good at fucking or not liking it. I very much hate being in that moment of absolute clarity because it would eventually go away and now that part of myself is behaving like I was never in that moment at all - it was like it never happened and that the only thing that did really happen is I found a guy I liked having sex with as well as learning that he was like me, too.

Jim and I went on to have sex with each other another five or six times... and that moment of absolute clarity never showed its face again except when I'd cum and I was right back to not paying any attention to it because I knew there was nothing I could do about it even if I wanted to. I'd never know or have a clue when it would show up like this; I hated it, hated that detached and clinical feeling but I liked it and I just chalked it all up to me just being weird like that.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Being in that moment of absolute clarity is so bothersome but allowed me to just watch my dick being in his ass... but, again, like it was someone else's dick and it was so deliciously weird but not the way I knew I should be like I shouldn't be thinking about how nice and nasty my dick looked in his ass or having thoughts about how wide my dick was spreading his hole to accommodate me.

I was fully into fucking Jim... and not really thanks to absolute clarity; I knew exactly and precisely what I was doing and I knew good and damned well that I shouldn't be doing this and I shouldn't be liking any of it and I even heard myself... laugh? to think about how fucked up this moment was since I was obviously dick deep in another man's backside and on my way to busting a nut in him and as deep as I could manage.

From my perspective, everything was sharp and clear; the moment of absolute clarity had me firmly in the moment and, to me, I blinked - and all holy hell broke loose inside of me. The clarity that held me in its sway whispered in my mind, "Look at you sowing your seed in his ass and it feels so good and nasty, doesn't it?" and even though I was being swamped by my unexpected release. I blinked again... and now I felt like I didn't seem to know how I wound up in Jim's ass but there was I just the same and this momentary confusion almost made me miss the fact that Jim was kinda laughing and telling me that he didn't expect to get fucked... but he was glad that I fucked him.

I was spent and drained both mentally and physically and I was thinking that if Jim wanted to fuck me, I wasn't going to put up a fuss about it because I was too worn out to fuss about anything. I laid there on top of him until my dick got soft enough that his hole was able to evict me and that other moment of absolute clarity that comes after I cum was fucking with me big time but I felt so good, too. I sat up as much as I could, feeling my head swim dizzily for a moment and asked Jim if he was okay...

He answered with a snore and all I could do was shake my head and grin over the fact that he'd gone to sleep for a moment. He really did just nod off for a brief moment and "woke up" when I moved to get off the sofa and go searching for a bathroom so I could get cleaned up. He saw me moving and guess where I was going because he said, "Good idea..." and caught up with me and guided me upstairs... with his hand on my ass.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There was no question over whether or not my lust was alive, well, and at work; when I moved, I pretty much manhandled him into position so I could get my mouth on him... and I was once more feeling very detached and that clinical voice said, "You're sucking another man's dick..." and paying "too much" attention to what my body was doing "all by itself."

My lust to suck him was consuming me and as usual but I couldn't shake that odd feeling of watching myself doing it and as if I was watching a movie; I was aware of everything and it was even more exciting being in this peculiar state of mind and using my mouth, lips, and tongue to entice another man to spill his seed... and thinking about every way I knew of to get him to do just that.

I collected a lot of spit on my thumb and just pushed it into his hole until I could feel the base of my thumb come to a stop; I heard and felt him gasp; felt his cock pulse and ripple for just a moment; heard him say, "No, no...," and felt his hands on my head, his fingers absently feeling my face and felt him screwing himself onto my thumb. It just felt so...weird to witness myself having my way with him and being further encouraged being very aware of the exact moment when he had whatever control he may have had wrested from him, giving himself up to what I was doing to him and knowing that at this point, I could do anything I wanted and he was completely helpless and at my mercy.

I could feel my dick getting hard and the clinical part of this moment of absolute clarity suggested that it would be fun to stop sucking him and fuck him, to see the look on his face as my dick got pushed into him and "giggling evilly" to know that he would do - could do - nothing to stop me from fucking him. But that meant that I'd have to stop sucking him and I didn't want to disrupt the moment; I was still detached from it all but with my lust still running strong as Jim fucked into my mouth and worked his ass on my thumb; I even noticed the moment he grabbed one of the pillows that had been on the sofa and covered his face and mouth so he could let out a primal scream as his dick got harder and more swollen... and he spilled for me.

Not that he had a choice in the matter. In that moment of absolute clarity and being so detached, I found his cock pulsing in my mouth to be... interesting and that part of my mind was busy and happily thinking about the mechanisms involved in that delicious pumping action; his sperm was filling my mouth and that part of my mind not only said that his spunk tasted wonderful, it was even going over the makeup of his spunk and how his body was producing so much of it... all while the lusty animal that was driving my actions was losing its shit over how damned good I felt to have sucked his dick and made him cum.

Then that detached part of being so clear said, "You should fuck him because fucking another man is so wrong and nasty..."

I don't think that Jim was even aware that I had moved; I don't think he was even aware that I was flipping him over onto his stomach and arranging him and myself so that, after I applied as much spit as I could to my dick, I could push my dick into him and, oh, yeah - if he hadn't be aware before any of that, he was very much aware now. In that detached clarity, I could hear him saying yes and no; was aware of how his body wasn't resisting me and I watched with great clinical interest as my cock spread his hole open and went inside of him and noted how he was starting to fuck back against me and so much that the rest of my dick just went into him until it couldn't go any further.

And, in that detached state, I heard my voice saying, "You like this, don't you?" I felt him shudder when he said that he did and everything seemed to go... quiet as I fucked my dick in and out of Jim's ass and the only two things I was very much aware of was that I had no business fucking another man... and it felt very damned good to be fucking another man. Besides, he wasn't complaining...[/SIZE][/FONT]