I thought as I got older I would calm down a bit. I was not really a party animal in my younger years and that's something I don't regret at all, it's not me and never was. But I find now as I get older I seem to want to push at some things a little harder. Years ago I would never have taken any pictures of myself in a compromising position but here we are with some rather racy photos of me sitting on the hard drive. Not really sure what drove me to do it but I can say I am enjoying taking and looking at them for sure.
A.D.D. was never a thing when I was a kid but according to my wife, I have over 10 of the 15 signs of adult A.D.D. and one of them is hyper-focusing. FYI hyper-focusing is [QUOTE]Hyperfocus refers to an intense fixation on an interest or activity for an extended period of time. People who experience hyperfocus often become so engrossed they block out the world around them. Children and adults with ADHD often exhibit hyperfocus when working intently on things that interest them.[/QUOTE] So this could be the answer as to why when I get these feelings I dive right in head first without any other thoughts. I have done it with everything in my life, probably why I have over 50 lipsticks in my collection and most have not even been used yet. Also why I spent most of my workdays for the last week thinking about nothing but cock!!
I sometimes can't help but wonder if my crossdressing is attributed to my bisexuality or vice versa. This was a question I would ask myself years ago before I truly accepted myself. I hated the fact that sometimes when I dressed I would get these feelings and urges and act on them while dressed. It took me a long time to get over these and come to where I am today. I am happy no matter how I am presenting and do not have any more guilt towards my fantasies.
well i am coming out as a crossdresser. going to tell my niehbor about it. [ATTACH=CONFIG]57316[/ATTACH]
So if you read my first blog here you will see that I told my wife how my bisexual curiosity was gaining some traction and I would like to explore it more, she agreed and I proceeded to look into some avenues of finding someone to explore their feeling with. Fast forward a few weeks and we are having some sort of conversation and something got said and at that point, I knew I had really hurt my wife, which is something I really did not intend or want to do. I decided that the best thing to do would be to stop my search for a partner and try and stop thinking of this situation. But here we are almost a year later and I am back into the same feelings I had before. Although this time we had a more frank discussion. I basically said I have these feelings and I can't do anything about it. Out of the love and respect I have for her I will not pursue an IRL meeting or boyfriend but I will continue to be online chatting and talking with other people that have the same interests as me. So for the foreseeable future, there is no chance that I will act on any of my bi feelings but I can at least come here and talk with other people that feel the same way as I do. Cynthia
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Ed had gotten up on very wobbly legs and stretched, giving me a good look at his body which was still flushed a very deep reddish color. He turned and looked at me and there was... something in his eyes that I couldn't make sense of; I wasn't sure if it was anger that I was seeing or not. "I always thought that I really liked sucking dick," he said as he sat back down on the bed. "I've had a lot of guys blow me... and none of them has ever sucked my cock like you just did. Shit... I don't even remember if I've ever cum three times like that before and I'm surprised that you got me to cum twice!" I could only sit there and look at him - and, this time, keeping my eyes on his face. I could feel The Beast "moving around" in its cage even though it was "slumbering;" it had been fed in a huge way and was at rest... for now. "You're still hard," Ed said, nodding at the erection I hadn't been aware of... well, not really that aware. "Oh, I guess I am," I said - and feeling kinda silly saying it. "Well, let me get something to drink - and you look like you could use something to drink that ain't cum, too," he said. "Then I'll see what I can do about that boner, okay?" Ed had already sucked me off once before The Beast and The Hunger woke up and he did a very good job sucking me but as he went down on me and began to, I'd say, show me his version of The Hunger, I was hoping that his efforts didn't wake The Beast up again but, thankfully for the both of us, it was taking a much and well deserved nap. I fell into the moment of having my dick nicely sucked and didn't flinch at all when Ed returned the favor of burying his finger into my ass; in fact, I welcomed it and more so when I did like having a finger in my ass while I was cumming and feeling my anal muscles contracting on his finger and in time with every delicious pulse until he had swallowed every drop of cum had to offer. We'd showered together and, for a moment, us washing each other almost got The Beast's attention but we got cleaned up without anything happening. As we got dressed, I had come to terms with the fact that there probably wasn't going to be a next time for us and I was pissed at not being able to contain The Beast and its ravening Hunger any better than I did or, really, couldn't. I could almost see Ed thinking about whether or not getting together to do this again would be a good thing or not and as much as I enjoyed sucking his dick - and without The Beast and The Hunger being involved - I felt sad thinking that I'd never get another chance to suck his dick. But he surprised me when he said, "I don't know about you but I think we need to do this again. You are such a damned good cock sucker!" "I hope that we can," I said, feeling relieved. "I very much like sucking your dick - and like you probably didn't notice, huh?" He laughed and I laughed as well and after agreeing on another day and time to do this again, I went home feeling happy and totally sated... but I was beginning to feel sorry for the women waiting for me at home because now The Beast was getting Hungry for their pussies... and it was going to be fed again.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Ed was so caught up in his release that I had to hold him down so I could finish draining his balls dry, swallowing his spunk faster than he could shoot it into my mouth. I felt the inner heat of feeling satisfied as Ed's cock finished pumping and was beginning to grow soft... And The Beast wasn't having any of that. Ed was saying... something in between breathing so hard that, still locked in The Beast's cage, had me a bit worried that he might hyperventilate which didn't stop The Beast from continuing to suck Ed's dick. It was being more than careful to stay away from the head of his dick and was just purring happily to take in all of his dick now that it was softer. "No, no..." Ed moaned. "I can't take anymore!" I heard him just fine... and kept right on sucking him, concentrating my efforts at the base of his cock. Ed was trying to remove me but, I think, forgot all about the finger I still had buried in his ass - and The Beast "reminded" him of this by giving his prostate a not all that gentle nudge. "Oh, shit, oh, shit," Ed was saying even as he continued to try to get away from me and, like a boa, I just kinda wrapped him up so that he wasn't going anywhere. Sweat was pouring into my eyes and stinging the shit out of them but didn't stop or slow me down one bit as I slowly but surely teased Ed into yet one more erection and probably one he probably didn't think would happen... but I'm not just good at this: I am persistent. Oh, yes, it took quite a bit of time to get Ed's dick hard again but it got hard just the same and now The Beast was taking its own sweet time feeding on his prick and working to get him to cum just one more time. Ed was cussing at me in ways to make the saltiest sailor blush; was alternating between "begging" me to stop and "begging" me not to stop; I was being called all kinds of bastards, motherfuckers, and sons of a bitch, none of which stopped him from once more fucking his prick into my mouth and, yes, humping the finger that was still deep in his ass. When The Hunger was upon me like this - and it was really bad this time - I had no real sense of time itself; my whole world consisted of Ed's hard dick in my mouth and I'd forgotten for a moment that I even - and still - had my finger in his ass. I wanted him to cum one more time - I "desperately" need to feel his cock pumping in my mouth again and was even aware that since this was now the third time I'd sucked his dick, he might not be able to let loose any more cum. The Beast was okay with that and I knew it would be finally sated just to feel in pumping while trapped in my mouth. I didn't know how long I'd been sucking him and didn't really care a whole lot but I finally felt his body start to lose control, felt his prick swell inside my mouth again... and felt the now feeble pumping and even felt and tasted what little sperm Ed had left to give. I sucked it all down, removed my finger from his ass, and once he went totally soft, I let go of him. The Beast had been fed; The Hunger sated. I'd been released from The Beast's cage and, my god, I felt so good and so awful for subjecting Ed to such a vicious sucking and to the point where I wouldn't blame him one bit for being totally pissed off at me. I struggled to sit up; my whole body was protesting the move and I felt my head swimming dizzily once I could fully sit up. I looked at Ed and, damn it, I felt The Beast giggling happily to see how trashed Ed was. "I'm sorry," I said to him - and I meant it with all my heart and soul. "I'm not... but you're fucking crazy!" he said - after, um, after he relearned how to speak. "What the fuck was that?" "That was The Hunger," I said while being glad that there was a good chance that he wouldn't be able to see me blushing. "I'm sorry." "Shit, I think I am, too," Ed said. "Is my cock still attached?" I actually looked down at the same time he did and, yep, it was still there - and The Beast said that it was a shame it was still attached to his body... and starting to wonder if he could get it up again - but I "closed the blinds" on The Beast so it couldn't see Ed's dick in that sense. "You really are a cock sucking fiend, aren't you?" he asked, now looking at me in awe and maybe with a bit of fear as well - and I couldn't blame him if that were the case. "Yeah, I am," I said, feeling myself blush with the "shame" of admitting it but knowing that I wasn't really ashamed of myself one bit. Coming down from The Hunger always made me feel very damned good... and kinda shitty at the same time.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The Beast has gotten out of its cage to feed and had locked me inside that cage... and I felt so horribly embarrassed to "watch" myself sucking Ed's cock and as if I didn't care if the very vigorous sucking was causing him any discomfort or not. At first, Ed was very much into it and I dimly remember looking up at him and seeing his eyes closed, his mouth open and all while he was doing his best to fuck into my mouth, trying to keep up with the blistering and near-vicious pace I'd set... and felt the moment when he just surrendered to The Hunger. I fondled his balls and as if I was literally trying to squeeze his cum out of him. The Beast was getting angry; it wanted to taste Ed's cum and was pulling out all of the stops to get it. I slipped a finger into my mouth, adding it alongside Ed's erection to get it nice and wet before reaching down and under him to find his asshole and pushing my finger into him. Ed reacted to the invasion by trying to get my finger out of him but the more he tried, the deeper my finger went into him until I could feel his prostate; I pressed my fingertip against it and held it there... then went into high gear, pretty much slamming my face into his crotch every time I took all seven inches of dick he owned. The Beast was both howling and purring; I was still growling in between breathing like a steam engine, alternating between sucking him "gently" and sucking his cock so hard that he was squirming in pain trying to get away from me and The Hunger. The part of me that was trapped and locked away in The Beast's cage felt so bad for him and if I could have stopped ravaging his prick, I would have... but The Beast was totally in control and had to be fed. I could feel those ripples running up and down his shaft; I was acutely aware of the change that was coming over him from the way he was breathing to the way he was now back to trying to fuck my mouth. He was gonna cum... and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening... and The Beast was howling and roaring inside of me and being trapped within myself, all I could do was to watch what The Hunger was doing to Ed and, again, I felt so bad about it... but The Beast didn't care one bit. "Son of a bitch!" Ed yelled out - and as he did that, I felt his cock swell in my mouth and I took him deep and held him, feeling his expanding dick pressing in the whole of my mouth and his knob was "lodged" in the back of my throat... and then he came... and The Beast went batshit crazy to feel Ed's dick pumping a load of sperm right down my throat and being just a bit pissed off over not being able to taste it.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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