lol... twenty odd years ago, hired as a doorman at a local gang bar by a gang member friend, I came into close and clear contact with the LGBT community ( the pub was owned by the mongrel mob, one of NZ's two biggest gangs, the black power gang was the rival gang ) a back bar tucked away at the back of the pub, it was open on thurs, fri, sat nights, and it catered for the LGBT community inclusively, even a few of the mongrel mob gang would come down and drink with us ( on my nights off ), and large enuf to hold 150 people...so on a good night, there was easily 80+ LGBT and extras in the bar...... much of the rumours I had heard about LGBT, were to be dispelled and confirmed at the bar by many of the patrons in my time in front of the bar and behind it, as I was roped into bartender work one night cos of a sick employee.... but there are memories that I still have after all of these years... and I miss those days where there was real LGBT communal spirit as it was the days before the LGBT rights and anti discrimination laws were passed in NZ in 1993 one of my fav memories is the following there was a older guy, mid 40's and gay, who was like the *ring leader * of the gay male group, a great bear of a male, fem in personality, quick to laugh and loved by so many, and always good for a joke or 6...... and he had a trademark blue polka dot handkerchief that always hung from the right side of his back pocket, he once told me that it meant that he was single and looking... one of the * gay codes * used by the gay community in the town.... one night, we had a out of towner come calling at the bar and if trouble could grow legs, arms and a mouth, it would have been this guy.... within about 15 minutes, he has already pissed off 3 of the lesbian / bi ladies that often played a fast game of poker in one corner of the bar, by talking about the cards they were holding..... well my mate whom I shall call bear, wandered over to the *gentleman * and politely steered him away from certain death as a couple of the lesbians in the bar added new meaning to the term " man hater " and they were ready to seperate him from his manhood and other parts of his body..... lol... it was never a good idea to piss them off, one of the ladies was no lady when it came to swing a fast, hard left and a jaw breaking right roundhouse well the gentleman was in fine form asshole mode and between wiping glasses, taking drink orders and wondering where the phone was with the ambulance on speed dial, I was watching from the bar, as mister asshole tried it on with bear, making some remarks about the handkerchief and how bear was trying to be like those F.......G yank .... yeah, like I said, the guy had a mouth.... bear is a quiet guy and gentle, but with a temper on him that slumbers like a grizzly in hibernation and never a good idea to waken..... finally the guy pushed too far and said to bear, " so you yank poofter wannabe, gonna tell me what ya rag means before i slip one up ya from behind " .... and bear said, " mate, I will show you " .... I used to be able to clear the bar like a athlete on a vaulting horse, I am a lil past it now lol, but I have barely managed to clear the top of the bar before bear had the guy by the lapels of his jacket, a good foot between the ground and his foot, and promptly blew his nose on this guys shirt before dropping him to the ground...... I got there just in time to take the guy off his foot and face down on the floor..... most guys do not go for their back pocket unless they are packing a blade, something that I learnt from the streets..... manhandling the guy out of the bar was not a problem, specially when you are next door to a gang bar and the LGBT was on their patch.......lol those were the days where the LGBT would sit and drink in the same bar, even if they hated each others guts, cos it was the only bar in town for them to do that, and a watering hole for a dry throat was a neutral place for most people.... and recently I was talking with a friend that said that the bar no longer exists.... apparently it was closed down cos of the bitching and fighting over who was going to run the bar, the gays or the lesbians or the bis and who was in control of everything.. ( it used to be a mixture of them )....and the infighting got so great that finally the bar was closed...and so came the loss of that towns " stonewall " now all I have is memories of friend and foe, the good times and the bad, the fun the laughter and the vomit that had to be cleaned up.......and a curiosity that maybe, despite all of the positive that has come from gaining LGBT rights and anti discrimination, in some respects they did damage our LGBT communal spirit..... and that is a shame...... maybe one day I will stand behind a bar again, in a lgbt bar, but I am not sure that it will be the same, ... there may be another * bear * with a blue polka dot handkerchief in his back right pocket...and the ladies in the corner with their poker game...... but I have a feeling they are a part of a time gone by......and just a memory of a LGBT bar in NZ as for bear, he died in 1997 of a massive heart attack and a lot of the regulars were there at his funeral, LGBT and extras..... and to my knowledge, that was the last time that they all stood together in a united cause..... in 2005 the same sex civil union bill was passed, allowing same sex couples to be joined in a union, but even then, there was not the communal spirit that once existed in a LGBT bar.....
Hopefully, this may help. If not please ignore. [QUOTE]I just don't know if I can ...[/QUOTE] This type of statement is often heard on day time soap operas. It is used to evoke melodrama. And in using melodrama chances are there is some form of manipulation happening. Melodrama is an exaggeration. It is used to convey that a speaker is somehow larger than life, superior. Stop for a moment and think about it. Are you larger than life? Now, are they? But you should better understand that they rely on you thinking they are. Once you think they are larger than life, they heap on drama. And then it becomes use of the victim facade. They will milk being a victim for all it's worth. You will overlook their actions, moral or not, ethical or not. Also the statement, "you won't know until you try" proves useful. [QUOTE]I saw a message on his/her/their phone/pim/calendar/diary/instant messenger/etc and it peaked my curiosity so I ...[/QUOTE] This statement practices what is called shirking responsibility. It does so by use of the above co-joined statement. They are the victim here, someone else's actions caused theirs. Ask why they were snooping and disrespecting the other person's right to privacy. Ask if they really expect you to believe the other person's actions caused them to do whatever. For example, I visit your home and notice a note on your wall calendar. The note reads "pick up laundry" or something to the effect of "visited We Dazzle porn site". I really could care less. Does that mean I now must go pick up my laundry, visit that porn site? See how it comes back personal choice and responsibility? If you can not see that, ask a friend to help explain it for you. And yes, I'm serious. Sometimes it is difficult to see things like this. What a manipulator seeks is you suspending disbelief. They want you to believe another person's actions caused theirs. This is pure fiction at best. Everyone has the power of choice. Everyone has its responsibility, too. Once a manipulator gets you to disbelieve this, you submit to their whims. [QUOTE]I have always been a firm believer in no x, but is this x? [/QUOTE] Toss this one right back in their lap too. If they consider it x, then yes it is x. Otherwise, it is not x. This goes right back to personal responsibility and choice. If they are indeed somehow a genuine victim and not a manipulator, then they will appreciate you guiding them to becoming empowered. If they do not appreciate that, then you are facing a manipulator. They want something, it could be a response, attention, a new puppy or anything.
[QUOTE=TaylorMade;141887]I'm a 36c... they have to be the same size... or they have to just... appeal to me. :p 36c is for me!! just rite size:tongue: *Taylor*[/QUOTE]
Just watched one of the best movies I've seen in awhile, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Matter of fact, I watched it twice, so I could better absorb the dialog & visuals. It's a suspenseful, well-crafted story & the protagonist is a tough, smart, plucky survivor and bisexual, a very unique movie heroine. I know it's been around for awhile; I'm just recommending it to anyone else out there who's late in discovering it like me.
Hey everyone. Just thought I should stop and say hi. Not much to say that y'all haven't heard so I'll leave it at that. Hopefully I can get more involved and get to know some of you.
so today is a good day its my littler bother 18th brithday on the 18th and god he is getting so big lol. but today also suck cause i have to work tonight and i want to stay home all night and play wow with him and the rest of the family and play. Drew Blessed Be
I know there are a few of us on here who are into BDSM and more kinky lifestyles, and I've been very curious about maybe getting into the scene lately. I was wondering if anyone has any advice or tips on getting started somehow? I would like to maybe start out light, I'm not sure how into it I am, but I would like to at least try it. If anyone can help me out, I would be very appreciative! Thank you Elle
so i am new to this sit so its going to take some time to get use to but i hope you all have fun i need to go and get ready for something? Bless Be!
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