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I think about all the uncut dicks I could have sucked... and didn't until I was 50 damned years old. I get miffed about it today but it's water under the bridge because even though I was loathe to put a dick with all that ugly looking skin in my mouth, they could put it in my ass; not only did it feel good but it felt better because I wasn't looking at it. And shit like race didn't matter to me one bit. White guys were more open to it, it seemed to me and it was something I found to be curious, not that other guys weren't open to it but, eh, not as much as white guys were and I thought it was because we were raised differently and our parents being strict or not so much. I got culture shocked to have a white guy tell me that his parents knew he was having sex with boys and wasn't getting the shit beaten out of him for it; I still remember the day a white friend's father walked in on us while we were 69ing to tell us lunch was ready... and then, during lunch, he allayed my fears by telling me that it was okay because he knew that boys will be boys. I'd later wonder how he knew and would think that he knew because he might not have been a stranger to dick himself.

While it was easy to blame this on raging hormones, I knew it was more than that; it felt good. It tasted good. It made me feel good to be sucking a guy's dick and hearing him telling me how good it felt to him and hearing him cussing and all that and even more so when he shot his load into my mouth. I'd later learn about oral fixation but back then? Didn't know about it at all; all I knew was that having a guy's dick in my mouth made me feel good and I could make him feel good enough to cum in my mouth or, if he was fucking me, it felt so good to him that he'd cum in my ass. I'd started to feel... girly any time I sucked dick or got fucked and the feeling was, at first, disturbing because (1) I wasn't a girl and (2) I wasn't gay and like some guys I knew who'd tell me that they loved being the girl. I'd learn not to pay attention to that feeling because it would distract me from what I wanted to do: Suck a dick until the other guy cums so I could feel... complete and satisfied to swallow it all.

It didn't hurt that many of those guys were cock suckers, too, or if they hadn't been before they met me, they found out what I liked about it. I'd get my dick sucked by a guy and it would be so nice and even normal in that unlike some, I didn't find it weird at all. Girls would suck my dick - and I'd better not shoot that stuff in their mouth and save it for their pussy - but with guys, that was rarely the case; if you sucked dick, you took the sperm and if you weren't of a mind to do that, you didn't get to suck any dick. Over time, however, a lot of guys stopped being into it and that, for me, was a shame... but I still had a brother who had no qualms about us sucking and fucking each other. I remember that he busted his first nut with me and we were both surprised when he did it and it was funny how he reacted to it and pretty much the same way I had the first time I busted one. I'd told him what had happened and he was hyped and said, "I don't know what that was but I wanna do it again!"

We'd eventually get busted doing it and I was lucky to "survive" that moment but when I couldn't find a guy who wanted his dick sucked, I knew my brother wouldn't ever say no; why should I just masturbate when I slept in the same room with someone who wanted to suck me off or be fucked and more than willing to be sucked off and fuck me? Yeah, I know what it was... and I didn't care one bit and neither did he even though we'd grow up not liking each other a whole lot... but got along just fine when we were having sex.

Go figure.

It just was what it was. People say today that they got woke up and my first taste of dick and sperm most certainly woke me up. Nasty and forbidden... and such a deliciously naughty thing to do! I would find myself sitting and hoping that when I went outside, someone would want me to suck their dick or if they wanted to fuck, well, okay, that'll work... after I sucked your dick. Having a brother I could do this with definitely worked even though, at first, I didn't want to go there with him since I knew if we ever got caught, going to hell would be a picnic. But I caved and having him as a "lover"" was convenient in that I didn't have to leave the house to take care of my dick fix. Just as forbidden and we both knew that and did it any way. To suck his dick and feel it twitching in my mouth - but nothing was coming out - was fun but not as fun as doing it to someone who would, more often than not, flood my mouth with it and with those certain adults, so much that being able to swallow it all was almost impossible but nothing that a wet washcloth couldn't get rid of and provided that most of whatever I couldn't swallow didn't wind up on the floor.

Again, it wasn't until I was well into my adult years when I'd get to thinking that, um, you know, maybe I shouldn't have been sucking adult dicks but like very retrospective thing, what I thought now didn't change what happened then - it was what it was and since I suffered no ill effects from it, nothing to be all that concerned about, not that anything could have been done about it since those men were quite dead at that point in my life. Still, it didn't matter whether I knew the guy well or I didn't; I can remember the times when I'd meet someone new and all I was thinking about was whether or not they'd be interested in giving me their dick to suck... and sometimes, they weren't and nothing I could say to them was gonna change their minds. But those guys were the exception because most of the new guys I'd meet would be very interested in us sucking each other off or doing some fucking. Oh, it was so nice to feel their dick pumping away and buried in my ass but it wasn't as good as having their dick in my mouth. I was beginning to wonder about that but it wasn't that important because most of the guys I'd began to run into were more interested in sucking dick or being sucked and if they'd never done it before, I'd be more than happy to show them how damned good it was and no matter what anyone had to say about it not being good.

God... when I think back about those years I feel so embarrassed at times to know that I was so easy and eager to do something that, today, I usually have to do some "investigating" in order to do and by common sense necessity... but back then, common sense and I weren't on speaking terms so much. If I kinda/sorta knew you and you wanted to do something, I was all for it. It got to the point where with some guys, I didn't have to ask them if they wanted to because they'd ask me first and I rarely, if ever, said no. And as much as I was hearing about how fucked up it was to be gay and sucking dick and being fucked by other guys, well, that couldn't be all that right because I was all for it and just as much as I was all for getting naked with girls and having sex with them; it was just that guys were... easier and more so when we knew that we could fuck each other until the cows came home and not worry about getting pregnant.

Another time when I'm thinking about how much of a cock whore I was growing up. I couldn't get enough dick to make me happy and the good - and bad thing in the mind of some - was that when I couldn't get any from my peers, there was always that one grownup who didn't mind giving me what I wanted whether it was in my mouth or as much of it I could get in my ass.

I was so easy that all one had to do was pull their dick out and I'd want it and the good - and maybe bad - part was that a lot of guys knew it; I'd see them coming and not really be thinking about getting some dick but after a while, it became apparent that if I saw them heading my way, I knew why they were looking for me and they didn't even have to ask; I'd just ask, "Where?" and off we'd go somewhere to, at the least, get some dicks sucked and the more the merrier although I had learned a valuable lesson about taking on a bunch of guys and sucking all of them or being fucked by them.

I couldn't get enough and I blissfully didn't know - or care - why I couldn't. Doing it to girls was still a lot of fun and eating their pussies was sheer bliss but there was still that need to get some dick that couldn't - and wouldn't - be ignored and I was already developing the "preference" to have one more in my mouth than in my ass, not that this was always a bad thing but it was usually... messy and the only fear I had was my parents doing the laundry and noticing that the back of my underwear was... crusty.

But if you wanted your dick sucked, I was the guy to find. I knew that some were just taking advantage of me and I wasn't happy about that... when I wasn't sucking their dick and definitely not when they were sucking mine. Even if that were the case, it didn't matter because having a hard dick in my mouth and then feeling a guy's sperm flowing in so I could swallow it, well, it didn't get too much better than that unless, again, I was eating some girl's pussy and it didn't even matter if I got to fuck her after doing it.

And I was like this for years and, to be honest, it wasn't until I was well into my adult years that I had reason to think about my younger self being such a whore about dick.

That part of myself had a point but what's done is done. I went about the rest of my day but still thinking about how things went down and despite brushing my teeth and using mouthwash, I could still taste him and the scent of him was still in my nose. If I'd killed things between us, so be it... but I had to admit that I could lose my cool over something that I probably shouldn't but when you say "quickie," it shouldn't take damned near a half hour of my limited time.

I put it out of my mind. Part of me wanted to call and apologize but it got shouted down because he didn't apologize for making it harder for me to suck him off because of what he did and he did lie about it. Whatever. Get over this and get over yourself while you're at it already - and I did. Finally. You can't change what has already happened.

As I drove home, my phone rang and quick look showed that it was him calling. I started not to answer but I did, bracing myself for hearing anger in his voice. But his voice was light; he had said that, at first, he was really pissed off that I'd fingered his ass the way I did but after we parted, he said that when he thought about it, he had to admit that when he came, it was so intense and unlike anything he'd felt before.

Could we get together at his place this Saturday... and would I consider finger-fucking him again and doing whatever I did to make him cum like that? I said that we could and that if that's what he wanted now, it wouldn't be a problem but I asked him to do me a favor and not jerk off before I got there - and he promised that he wouldn't... but since I'd now gotten over myself, it wouldn't matter if he did anyway.

Saturday was fun and no one was more surprised than I was when he akedd that instead of my finger in his ass, would I put my dick in there?

I eased my finger out of him and the moment it popped out, he jumped up and, boy, was he pissed! Did I feel bad about violating his hole like that? Yeah, I did... but he pissed me off first and I was feeling vindictive.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"You were taking too long to cum and I told you I had to be somewhere," I replied as I matched his angry stare with one of my own. Maybe what I did would ruin this regular thing and that would be a shame... but if I didn't get to where I needed to be in the next twenty minutes, that would be even worse for me.

"I told you I don't like my ass messed with like that!" he said.

"And I told you how much I hate guys who jerk off before we get together - and I know you did," I said, countering his anger with cold disinterest.

"I didn't!" he said and I knew he was lying... and the voice in my head was now telling me to once again get over myself and don't even think about making this worse than it already was... and it was right - but.

"I guess you didn't think that I'd smell your spunk and didn't think that I'd taste the lotion you used to do it," I said as I sat up and started looking for my clothes.

"You did?" he asked.

"I did - I pay attention to stuff like that," I said as I stepped into my underwear. "In any case, you gotta go because I gotta go."

I was happy but not so much and more so when I barely got to my appointment on time and the good thing for him was that everything went well for me but I did think that because I couldn't get over myself, I might have ruined a good thing but the vindictive part of me grumbled that he had ruined it by doing what he did to begin with. The more sensible part of myself calmly said, "Don't be that way; you got to suck him, he really came a lot and you got your rocks off so stop being a little bitch about it. He probably did it so he could last longer and since you're good for making him cum quickly."

Unlike him, I wasn't into giving sloppy blow jobs; it would irk me to find my pubic hair matted to me with his saliva and especially when some of it had already started to dry - it made washing up afterward more interesting than I cared for. I reached down and with the pretense of stroking his face to get my fingers good and wet before returning my hand to his ass cheeks... then slipping a finger between them. I knew he didn't mind having his hole rubbed but that's not what I had in mind; I was rubbing it, he was moaning and thrusting into my mouth even more and I waited until he pulled back and used that motion to let my finger go into his ass... right up to the second knuckle. The result was instantaneous; he froze in place and I could feel his ass clamping down on my finger and as if to keep me out but I was already in there. I pulled my finger back, which made him relax then pushed it back in and kinda slowly finger-fucked him and I could feel it in his body that he wasn't happy... but his dick was; I could feel "the tremors" running through his dick that told me that he was getting ready to cum. I kept the pace of my finger easy and resisted the urge to bury it in his ass; the fact that I had long fingers would produce an interesting response but there was no time to fuck with him and as much as I felt he deserved.

He'd stopped trying to get my finger out of his ass; I could tell he was unhappy because he was roughly sucking me and I put a stop to that by pushing my finger just a bit more into him and even wiggling it a not so subtle warning to not be so rough; he got the message but my finger in his ass was getting me closer to the result I wanted. I pushed into him just a tiny bit more until I could feel his prostate - and pressed it. His response was electric; I felt him stiffen and another press had me feeling his cock starting to swell in my mouth; one more press shoved him over the edge and, wow - if I had known that fucking with him like this would make him cum even more than he normally did, I would have "violated" him way before now. It was all I could do to keep up with the cum that was pouring into my mouth and I was so focused on swallowing it that I barely noticed that I was cumming as well but the feeling was muted but that was okay because he now had to deal with my spunk. Every time his dick pulsed, his asshole clamped down on my finger and it kinda hurt but it was worth it and it would teach him not to jerk off before we got together again.

It was at that point where the "voice" in my head said, "Get over yourself already! You should be glad that he enjoys being with you as much as he does! So what if he jerked off?"

The voice had a point. Finding him was a chore and a half, sorting through and vetting maybe twenty or thirty guys and passing on them before I found him and found him to be suitable. Average kind of guy with a blessedly average cock; I could handle long and thick dicks well enough but this guy was a pleasant change of pace and sucking his six inches was stupidly easy for me and the fact that I could get him off without a lot of hard work just worked for me... until today.

I'm sucking; he's thrusting into my mouth and, in my head, way past the time it normally took him to cum. One of the things I liked about sucking him was how much cum he could give up and a reminder that the size of a guy's balls wasn't a true indicator of how much cum he could bring... and the thought of this had crossed my mind as I sucked his rather small balls and I was pissed because if this wasn't taking as long as it was, I wouldn't be thinking about it. The clock in my head was counting down the seconds remaining; the window was quickly closing and whether he came or not - or if I did or not - I was going to have to cut this short because I'd need to be somewhere else because life doesn't stop for anything.

The part of me that was really enjoying sucking him was waiting for him to cum and was getting as impatient as I already was... but what to do? I'd noticed that I had two hands full of his naked ass and had been almost shoving him into my mouth harder and faster and it clicked in my head; I knew what just might finish him off... and knew that he wasn't going to like it... but time now was of the essence and I couldn't be late.

He'd wanted to come by for a quick blow job and it made me smile because I remembered the last time he wanted a quickie and how furious we went after each other. But this time was different; The moment I got my face into his crotch, I could tell that he had jerked off before he came over... and I wasn't happy about that because I knew that this "quick blow job" wasn't going to be all that quick. It wasn't that I minded getting into blow jobs that could last thirty minutes or more but I had a small window of time for this and other things to do and as he had said he did as well.

It was hard sucking his dick and the familiar scent of his spunk was still on him and I was distracted by it; how dare he turn a quickie into something other than that? How dare he be sucking me like he didn't have a care in the world and then like he had all the time in the world as well? I could taste whatever he used to jack off with despite washing and I could taste hints of what I thought was lotion and it wasn't pleasant. I was on autopilot sucking him, dimly aware of how good it felt to have him in my mouth again but so distracted that I was actually paying attention to his lack of cock sucking skills as his teeth scraped me here and there or he was sucking on my knob a bit to hard.

It wasn't as if I'd never noticed these things before but I was doing so now because he had the gall to turn a pleasurable thing to do into something like work. Quickie my ass! In other times we'd had quickies, he rarely lasted longer than four or five minutes and if that and as I worked my mouth on him, I got to thinking that he must have been feeling some kind of way about my ability to get him off so quickly and decided to do something about it... and I was pissed; my window to do this in was quickly closing and for a moment I thought about stopping and ruining his moment by saying, "Time's up - I got shit to do!" I'd done this one time before and it was our fault that we had less time than we thought we had but I remember his displeasure when I stopped sucking him and moved away from him before he had a chance to try to keep me in place.

I even thought about biting his dick...