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[FONT=arial][SIZE=4][FONT=verdana]When I came into my bisexuality way back in 1964, there was no such animal as top and bottom; you were either versatile... or "nothing" - you just didn't partake in such sexual fun. That guys would get older and, via experience, decide that it's better to give than receive - or better to receive than give - wasn't unusual... but every guy I knew growing up with this - and with one exception - was versatile and in what I'd say was as about as "fair and equal" as any of this can be; if you wanted someone to suck your dick, you knew you'd be sucking dick, too, and even if, privately, you didn't like sucking dick.

Likewise, if you wanted to fuck a guy's ass, you already had it in your mind and was prepared to be fucked in return and, again, even if it wasn't your favorite thing to do. You couldn't want to cum in a guy's mouth... then tell him not to cum in yours; ya didn't have to swallow it if you couldn't or didn't want to but you were gonna get a mouthful of youthful spunk in your mouth and no matter what you did with it after you got it. Otherwise, your first time with one of us would probably be your last time... and ya might not even get to complete that first time.

The only exception to our group of horny motherfuckers was the one guy who, today, would be a gay and submissive bottom; that dude loved to suck cock as much as he loved being fucked and to the point where if there were a few of us present and he was there, you could count on him taking on everyone who was there - and while the rest of us were doing each other while waiting for our turn with him and, believe me, it was very much and well worth the wait.

It was amazing in that if there was a way guys could have sex with each other, we pretty much did all of it, from one on one to full blown "orgies" to gang-banging each other - and especially our gay exception; it just was business as usual for us to create chains to suck or fuck so that no one would be all that left out of the action. Today, some guys drool over thinking about being in a MMM... and we did that as a matter of course and the way we'd do it is that everyone took a turn at being the guy on the bottom of the pile, the guy in the middle, and the "tail-end Charlie" guy; no one left without being fucked and everyone sucked cock and got sucked.

We had girls in our group... and they weren't all that different than we were in this and every last one of them ate pussy and got eaten - because that's just the way it was. When us guys started producing sperm, the girls changed up from being fucked in their pussies to being fucked in their ass because, duh, they didn't want to "get in trouble" (read this as getting pregnant) but they still wanted to be fucked. And they all sucked cock and swallowed spunk and did so eagerly.

To do it any other way just didn't make sense to us.

I see guys today coming right out of the gate and deciding that whenever they have their first time, they're gonna be a top or a bottom, have already decided what they're gonna do and not ever gonna do and I'd have to say that this is most likely due to the amount of information that's available today about this as opposed to the utter lack of information available back in 1964, which was pretty much limited to, "Boys do have sex with other boys" and "Boys aren't supposed to have sex with other boys."

I tell folks this... and they're shocked at the depths of our youthful debauchery and how we'd do shit that would make most grownups throw up or soil themselves. We were a unique group of kids who all discovered sex at almost the same time and, um, were bold enough - or insane enough - to get together and do it to each other and in every damned way it was possible.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=arial][SIZE=3]I'd been having sex with guys since I was nine and just sucking and fucking my way through those early years of my life with near reckless abandon and to the point where it became as normal a thing to do as breathing is. One day, I was at the park across the street from my house and working on my basketballs skills and, in particular, working on my left-handed shots when a guy stepped onto the court and asked if he could join me. I said he could, we introduced ourselves, and for a while, we were just shooting around before playing several games of one-on-one (and I wrecked shop on him, by the way) until we were both drenched in sweat and damned near dehydrated.

I knew he wasn't from the hood so when he asked where he could get some water, the least I could do was take him home with me and water him - and myself - and I even gave him use of the bathroom to wash the funk and crusty, salty, sweat residue off, which he was very happy to do. After washing up, we sat and inhaled large quantities of nice, ice cold water and started talking about the other courts scattered throughout the city and the best ballers at each place and, in particular, he asked me if I knew about this one court that some city planner decided would be better placed within a wooded area near the outskirts of the city limits - and I knew the court he was talking about and it wasn't famous for the high level of basketball talent being displayed.

It was best known for what some guys were doing in the woods between games or while waiting to have next, namely, fucking and sucking each other. It was pretty common at this particular court given the amount of testosterone being let loose in the air as guys sought to imitate their favorite NBA players and especially the amazing Julius "Dr. J." Erving. He confessed that he'd spent some time in the woods between games and I just nodded knowingly because I'd spent some time in the woods as well... so I wasn't all that surprised when he asked if we could blow each other.

We stripped down right there in my living room, took a moment to look at and appreciate each other's cock, and got to sucking right there on the floor and I thought it was funny that we both were trying to outdo each other just like when we were playing ball and the race was on to see who could get the other guy to cum first. He lost that one, too, filling my mouth with a good amount of spunk but I wasn't too far behind him in that regard.

We disengaged and sat there grinning at each other as well as complimenting each other on our most excellent cock sucking skills and agreeing that after we gulp down some more water, we should do it again. We got at each other again, both of us kinda/sorta taking our time when he stopped sucking me and said, "You know, we should fuck each other - what do you think?"

I thought it was a great idea given that during our second round, we had our fingers in each other's butts. We literally flipped a coin to see who'd get fucked first - he lost that one, too, and after hauling ass to the bedroom to get some lube, I lubed us up and gratefully slide into his ass and fucked him until I exploded inside him.

"Damn, that felt so good!" he said as I withdrew and flopped over onto my stomach to await his penetration. A few seconds later, I felt his lubed finger sliding into my hole like the proverbial hot knife through butter and I couldn't wait to feel the head of his dick going in there when I thought, "He's gonna fuck me..."

And for the first time in my bisexual life, that thought seemed to bother me - a lot. It bothered me so much that I barely noticed when he got on top of me and pushed his dick into me and started fucking me nice and slow... and I felt so girly that I almost had a panic attack because in all the years that I'd been in this exact same position and situation, I'd never felt anything like this before.

He's fucking me, telling me how good my hole feels around his dick and that he loved it when I'd tighten my muscles around him - and something I was doing automatically because my mind was having a fit dealing with the fact that there was a guy fucking me and just like I was a girl... and, my god, it was feeling... too good? He had just the right amount of dick to nudge my prostate on the down stroke, sending those amazing orgasmic feelings through me and actually making me spill my seed despite not being hard. Still, my mind was kinda/sorta paying attention to how good he was fucking me but was still distracted about how it was making me feel in other ways.

Bitchy. Girly. Submissive. Vulnerable. He pulled out of me and flipped me onto my back, threw my legs up and open, and re-entered me... I and clung to him in a position that my body just didn't like being in - I could never get my hips to behave properly in the missionary position (and I still can't). I looked down between us and I could see his cock working in and out of me, could see the intense look on his face and I felt even more... feminine. Girly. Bitchy. Horribly vulnerable. One part of me want him to stop while another part of me wanted him to not stop making me feel this way.

He grunted; I felt his cock swell in my ass... then felt him releasing into me and, god, it was always, for me, the best part of being fucked but this time? Better than any other time I'd had my hole creamed... and it was very damned scary because I could feel myself losing control of my emotions and could hear myself begging and pleading for him to give me more dick, to keep fucking me.

Which, of course, now that he'd flooded my ass with sperm, wasn't going to happen. When he pulled out of me, I felt so empty and lost that I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes - what the hell is going on? That he leaned forward and planted a light kiss on my lips didn't make me feel better... but it also did. He got up and went upstairs to the bathroom and I just laid where I was, legs splayed open, his spunk oozing out of my ass; he returned with a soapy wash cloth and cleaned me up from cock to ass before going back down on me to get me good and hard.

I didn't think that was gonna happen; I was physically and, now, emotionally spent but I'll be damned if he didn't get me back up again before lubing me up so he could have a seat on my dick.

"Are you okay?" he asked once he had every inch of me that could go inside him.

"Yeah... no, not really," I said.

"You wanna stop?"

"No... you're already there so let's do it," I said, trying to shake that very weird feeling away. And it was fading away as I watched him riding my dick effortlessly; he was enjoying himself and, to be honest, I was enjoying it, too, right up until I heard him say, "God you're really making me feel so girly... and I love it!"

As he rode me - and I was yanking on his cock - his words hit me hard because that's exactly how I'd been feeling but that didn't seem to upset him as much as it shocked the living daylights out of me. It took a while but he eventually shot a load onto my stomach and I got around to shooting a load into him once more. We disengaged and stumbled up the steps for one last clean up and even though we were both telling each other how good the sex had been, I was very disturbed by what I'd felt and I just couldn't understand why, after all the years I'd been fucked, I'd never felt anything like this before.

And to this very day, I still don't know although I did get to understand the feeling and come to terms with it. But what I couldn't figure out was if he was the reason why I felt like a wanton, needy bitch in heat... or it was an evolution of sorts in my bisexuality or had I finally "grown up" enough for my mind and body to reveal and accept the real truth of what it meant to have sex with another guy?

I never was able to answer the question; my mind just accepted - finally - that it is what it is so instead of letting it bother me should I feel that way again (and I sure as hell did), just accept it; go with it. Revel in what it meant to be fucked and rejoice even more in that moment when the guy fucking me got to the bursting point and inseminated me...

And just as if I were a girl.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=arial][SIZE=3]When I come to this section to blog, I will do so with the intent of keeping it real; no bullshit, no pie-in-the-sky psychobabble that tries to sugar coat the things that two guys can do with each other. I learned very early that there are a lot of guys like me and many of them really don't understand what they're getting themselves into, don't understand why they're feeling the way they do about men and, often, buying into the current raft of shit that says if you're bisexual and you're not having a relationship with a guy, you can't be bisexual or if a guy ain't gonna be into you, well, you should just leave him alone until you find some kind of M2M romance.

I'm from the old school of male bisexuality; things like romance and dating - things that are more associated with interacting with women - was unheard of. There were two reason to get down and dirty with another guy: Because you needed to get laid and girls/women weren't of a mind to let you do that and you were enough of a friend with a guy where sharing your bodies with each other just made perfectly good sense or, as I like to say, "I won't tell if you won't, okay?"

Do you often feel guilty after being with a guy? I know why you feel that way and, surprisingly, it's something that a lot of guys don't know. Are you sitting on the bench and waiting to get in the game and even making "excuses" for why you haven't done what you know you want and need to do? I'll say a few things about that, too.

I've had 54 years (and counting) to learn these things and much more, from my own experiences and those of the untold number of men I've talked to over all these years and I learned them because I never lost my curiosity about why I'm the way I am and, then, why other guys are the way they are.

And this is so very serious a thing for a bi guy, to feed a guy a bunch of bullshit is irresponsible and someone has to "stand up" and keep it all very real because I also know what happens to guys who buy into the bullshit and then find their lives totally fucked up... and all because no one bothered to "sit them down" and be on the real about this.[/SIZE][/FONT]

I am openly bi, happily married to a wonderful woman.
We play with a few friends. Bi men and bi couples.
No family or kids nearby, so we are pretty open about things.
We have an extraordinary sex life and relationship and social circle.

I sometimes feel a need to write. Helps me understand my life.
I may write down experiences here. It won't read like porn.

[FONT=arial][SIZE=4]When I came to this site and started looking at the forum posts, one of the first things I noticed was the number of guys who started sucking cock when they were very young and some who had this experience with an older person or a family member... and this one member who'd respond with comments about being abused or other such comments that, in my mind, suggests that such things aren't supposed to happen and it's shameful.

Fact of the matter is that a lot of guys get started on the path to bisexuality with an older person, a brother, cousin, etc., and while we, as a society, abhor such behavior, it doesn't ever change the fact that it has always happened, it's probably happening as you read this, and it will happen again tomorrow.

I got my introduction to dick from an older man when I was nine and he actually paid me to have sex with him. Like any other kid, I knew it was wrong, knew I could get in big time trouble but I also knew that, back in those days, if I had said no and told my parents, they would have assumed that I was lying and seriously kicked my ass. The allure of the money was powerful and I really did think about all the candy and other stuff I could get and even share with my friends.

The guy put his dick in my mouth... and I was instantly hooked. He came in my mouth and I swallowed his load more out of self-defense than anything else and it didn't taste bad at all. A few minutes and, yes, a bit more money later, he was carefully pushing the head of his dick into my ass and it hurt like crazy but he only put just enough in me to do what he wanted to do... and once the pain went away, it felt amazing to feel him shoving himself against my hole and with the tip barely inside me. Then he came... and I could feel his dick pumping away, could feel some of his sperm going in me and it just felt heavenly.

The next day, me and the guys I hung around with wound up comparing notes about boys doing it to boys - I don't remember how we even got on this but what I do remember is we quickly got into sucking each other's dicks and fucking each other; none of us were ejaculating but damn it felt good and more so when we all knew that if we got caught, there would be hell to pay.

At some point, my younger and only brother and I became lovers and we spent a lot of time sucking and fucking each other and a funny story about that is that our mom caught me fucking him and gave me a lecture about it that, even today, makes my face burn - it was scathing but I was lucky that she didn't kick my ass, which was what I was expecting. But, if she had busted into our room five minutes earlier, she would have caught him fucking me and I realized that even if she had, being the oldest, I still would have been blamed for it.

She gave me a very severe tongue lashing and went back to bed... and my brother and I went right back to what we had been doing.

Later, I'd share my beginnings with people and the first things they'd say that they were sorry that I was molested or abused... and the thing about that is that while it is abused today, I don't know for a fact that it was back in 1964 and even if it was, I didn't feel abused. I can say today that, yeah, my introduction was... scandalous but I had also learned that such things have been happening all along.

And I'm sharing this as a message to guys who've had similar experiences to tell them that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Even back in 1964, it was well known that boys would be boys and that we "experimented" with each other and it wasn't a big deal... as long as you didn't get caught doing it.

Someone asked me what I would do or say to the man who introduced me to dick today and if I could say anything to him and I said that I would actually thank him for teaching me something about life that a lot of guys don't learn until they're much older. That moment didn't just teach me that sex was more than just girls and pussy - it changed the way I look at the world and allowed me to see the truth that our polite and moral society doesn't want to see and that was that boys/men have always had sex with each other and it can happen in ways that said society seriously frowns upon... which doesn't change the fact that many guys learn about dick the same way I did... and other guys are learning that right now and more will learn it tomorrow.

I don't regret the experience at all and no one else here should be made to regret it either.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=4][FONT=arial]There was this girl I'd been talking to because it seemed that her peers were shutting her out because she got outed for liking boys and girls. I don't remember how we got to talking to each other in the first place; it wasn't because I was interested in fucking her and I think we had started talking over some school stuff we had in common. Anyway, she told me that it was true that she liked having sex with the guys and gals and since she shared her secret with me, I shared mine with her since, um, I also liked having sex the same way.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]We spent a lot of time talking and comparing notes, sharing experiences and all that and I found it all very educational in that girls who liked girls weren't of a mind to talk about such things. One day, we were having lunch together and she said something like she was glad that we have so much in common and I agreed that this was and is good...[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]Then she said, "Prove it. Prove to me that you're like me."[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]"You don't believe me?" I asked - and I was quite taken aback because I thought we had already established this. "And how can I prove it to you?" In my mind, there was only one way to prove it.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]"I can arrange for you to prove it... if you're game and you're really the way you say you are," she replied.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]"Okay... still not sure why you need proof," I countered.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]She blushed deeply before saying, "Because I wanna have sex with you... but I'm not gonna have sex with someone who isn't like me."[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]Okay... this was new! In all the time we'd been talking to each other, neither of us had said, mentioned or even hinted at the possibility of us having sex and I found myself getting my mind to catch up with this - did I now want to have sex with her and was I willing to put my sexuality on display for her so I could fuck her?[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]She saw my "hesitation" and said, "It's okay if doing it with someone else watching bothers you."[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]I blinked and said, "No, it's not that - I'm used to that; I'm trying to get my head around the fact that you wanna have sex with me and, honestly, I wasn't thinking about you like that. But, okay, if that's what you wanna do, set it up."[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]She smiled and her smile seemed to light up the cafeteria. "Consider it done - and I'll let you know when and where... and thank you - I really want to ball you."[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]A couple of days pass before she told me when and where along with telling me who else would be there to bear witness to my proof of bisexuality and in the form of another guy and gal who were "dating" and both were bisexual. She reemphasized that once I proved my bisexuality to her, she would give herself to me and in any way I wanted her but also added that in my attention to the guy, just giving his cock a few licks wouldn't be proof enough.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]I had even asked myself whether being able to fuck her was worth all of this... but I had committed to proving myself but still wondering if the reward for providing the proof was really worth it.[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]The day arrives and the four of us met at an out of the way motel and one known for not asking a lot of questions. As we sat in the room and staring at each other, I could feel their combined doubts and concerns like a kind of pressure against my whole body... but I could also feel their excitement as well. One minute turned into two minutes, then three; our clothes were off by this time and we were all eyeballing each other and, I'd say, hungrily... and before that fourth minute was over, something inside my head said, "Fuck it - I'm tired of waiting!"[/FONT]

[FONT=arial]I go over to the other guy and he jumped because my sudden motion startled him; I muttered, "Move your hand..." and when he did, I went right down on him without giving it a second thought and because doing this was very much second nature to me and as normal as breathing. Both girls gasped and I heard the girl I didn't know say, "Wow, he's really doing it!" The guy I'm sucking is moaning and gently fucking into my mouth and a part of my mind was "telepathically" saying to my friend, "You want proof? Keep watching..."

Minutes later, he was cumming in my mouth and I drank his spunk down like it was nectar... but I wasn't done proving myself. I got up from where I'd been kneeling, went to the girl I didn't know, gently pushed her onto her back on the bed, opened her legs, and started doing what was really my most favorite thing in the world to do - eat pussy. She was initially surprised because to her, one moment I was on my knees sucking her man's cock and before she could blink twice, I had my head between her legs and eating her as if my life depended on it.

As I did so, I heard the guy say, "How about that? Black guys do eat pussy!"

I ate her into quite a few orgasms before she finally managed to get away from me (but I really let her escape) and I turned to my friend and asked her, "Have I proved myself?"

She answered by shoving me onto my back and going down on me; I got my hands on her and moved her atop me so I could eat her as she sucked my dick. The other couple was getting busy with each other but I was dimly aware of it; the thing that kinda surprised me was that I was actually a bit miffed that I had to prove that I was what I said I was... and I took it out on my friend, first by eating her into a screaming fit then by getting inside her and, uncharacteristically for me, pounding her pussy as if I was trying to beat her through the bed. I even got "inventive" and withdrew from her and "manhandling" her until she was on her knees so I could take her from behind until I exploded inside of her.

"How about now? Enough proof for you?" I asked once I relearned how to breathe and speak again.

"Not quite," she said; now you two gotta ball each other!"

I looked at him, he looked at me and I just shrugged and asked him, "You wanna go first?" I didn't wait to hear his reply; I just flopped over onto my stomach and lifted my ass up and he didn't waste any time mounting me and getting his renewed boner into me.

"You've done this before," he whispered in my ear as he fucked me.

"Probably more than you have," I whispered back, settling into to enjoy the feeling of his hardness going deep inside me. Alongside us, the girls were going at each other and I turned my head so I could watch them and it just confirmed to me that there is nothing more hot and erotic than watching two women going down on each other.

It had my attention so much that I got surprised when I felt him shooting his load in my ass and it felt so good to feel his dick pumping his spunk into me. He withdrew and turned me over so he could suck me into hardness and I felt so good and "dirty" to feel his sperm starting to ooze out of me. Once he got me good and hard, he lay on his stomach and I mounted him and eased my dick into him.

Fuck, that motherfucker is big..." I heard him gasp; heard him, wasn't paying much attention to what he said. To my left, the girls were watching and I the girl I didn't know asked my friend, "I'd say he's the real deal, wouldn't you?"

My friend said,"Oh, yeah... and I think I'm in love..."

I creamed his ass and it was glorious, nasty, and delicious. After some very necessary cleaning up, my friend and I went out to get us all something to eat and drink and on the way back she said, "I have a confession to make."

"What's that?" I asked.

"I really didn't need you to prove yourself to me - I just like having sex in the way we just did," she said, her face turning an interesting shade of red.

"What?" I blurted out. "You tricked me?"

"Yup," she said, squeezing my hand. "Ya gotta admit it was a good trick, huh?"

And I had to admit that it was and more so after the four of us spent the rest of the day sucking and fucking each other silly.

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I'm a married bisexual man married for 34 years wife found out about 3years ago. I told my wife I would never cheat on her but I can't stop thinking about dick. I need advise on how other married bisexual men are handling this