[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One of the advantages of being bi and in an open marriage was that I wasn't limited to interactions with women so being able to pick and choose the dicks I wanted to play with was a plus and while running into women who'd believe that I really did have permission to screw them wasn't easy - at times, I had to get them to call my wife and have that confirmed - there were still plenty of guys flying under the radar who weren't opposed to sucking dick (at the least). HIV/AIDS was spreading like a wildfire so it became a great necessity to be extremely careful and it was clear that this new threat was shutting guys down hard. Still, the key to avoiding contracting this deadly disease was to take the time to know the guy and I mean as thoroughly as humanly possible. That the "supply" of available cocks dropped drastically at this time, as I mentioned, there were still plenty of safe guys and, interestingly, lots of new guys looking to have their first experience with cock. Thanks to my, um, hedonistic childhood, I was used to "doing it" with a guy having his first time doing it but I was learning that when the other guy was as old as you were (and sometimes younger and even older), assuring them that what they wanted to do wasn't as bad as they'd been made to believe wasn't always so easy. There were still periods of "boys being boys;" I remember a lot of days around the apartment complex we lived in and hanging out with the other guys, talking, gossiping, drinking, etc., and I'd have the sense that some of those guys would rather be doing something else other than just hanging out and talking and it was "weird" to see the same thing I used to see in my younger days happening but with the big difference that, back then, one of us would put doing it on the table pretty quickly... but these guys? Oh, they wanted to and I had early on identified the guys I thought would be down for it but for me, it was a wait and see kind of thing and more so when those guys would get sloshed, their inhibitions would get wiped out, and I could get a glimpse of their real self. They say that you should never shit where you eat and there's some sense in this rather crude and gross saying but I found that, nah, when it came to some of those guys, doing what they needed to do was much more important and as evidenced by the fact that in my first couple of years living there, I'd been with almost all of those guys; some were rookies and looking to find out what the big deal was, some were as experienced as I was but, out of necessity, were expert at hiding it from everyone else.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma]So I just have alot on my mind and i'm sure a lot of people probably wont read this post but I just need to get some things down in writing. [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma]So my fiance and I joined this site in search of a sister wife or more of a triad relationship. It seems like alot of people on here aren't serious about what they're looking for or message you once then you never hear from them again. We aren't here for a hook up or that "unicorn" We are very serious about our search for someone who will be long term. Part of our life forever. But where do we look? Should we just give up? We have been searching everywhere for quite some time and are getting a little frustrated.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma]Are there no girls out there that actually want to live the lifestyle we want? Are there no girls out there that are as serious as we are? We have so much love to share but can't find that "one" who wants what we do. It seems as though finding someone to share your life with is harder than we had planned. Everyone tells us to be patient but for how long? We have been looking for almost 2 years now with not really anyone that is serious.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#666666][FONT=Tahoma]Does anyone have any advice or some suggestions on what we should do?[/FONT][/COLOR]
[SIZE=2]For a few years in the 90s, I was the facilitator of a weekly discussion group on polyamory / ethical non-monogamy. We met weekly at a Unitarian Church. Just talk, for 2 hours. Sometimes ice-cream afterwards. Over the years, a few hundred people attended. A very wide variety of people. Mostly singles, some couples, sometimes they brought their kids. Different ages, orientations, incomes, educations, cultures, nationalities, etc. Most people felt that [B]traditional monogamy did not meet their needs[/B]. [/SIZE][SIZE=2] Square peg, round hole. [/SIZE][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]Books like 'The Ethical Slut' and 'Radical Honesty' were discussed in depth. [/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]Everyone got a lot to chew on and maybe a different perspective. Some f[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]olks tried completely different approaches to make things work, from swinging to free love. A few weak relationships crashed, some spectacularly. A few families got started, including mine. [/SIZE] For some individuals, sharing and openness come pretty easy. It makes sense and feels right. Good fit. But many others feel [/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]existentially [/SIZE][/SIZE]threatened by [/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]non-monogamy[/SIZE][/SIZE], as though it would murder their identity. Poor fit. To make things work in your life, you really have to know where you are on this spectrum. And where your partner(s) are at. [/SIZE][/SIZE]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]All good things must end. Life with Tim in the mix was good right up until the day he received word that his grandmother - and the woman who raised him - had died, leaving him as her sole heir. It broke my heart and his when he announced that he had to leave to deal with her death... and that chances were he wouldn't be returning and even my wife and kids were upset to hear this. I felt like someone had cut out an important part of me and I wasn't handling it well at all. He was planning to leave the day after - he was going to have a long drive to go where his late grandmother lived and died - and I didn't want him to go but my wife told me that night that she'd take the kids and hang out with them for the day so that Tim and I could have one final moment with each other. That day, we made love and because it really was going to be the last time. We sucked and fucked each other and in between resting up, we spent a lot of time crying in each other's arms and even after neither of us could get it up again. The next day, he was gone... and to this very day, I do not know what has become of him. He'd promised to stay in touch but I never heard from him again... but I will never forget him and the things he taught me about being in love. Admittedly, with him being an effeminate gay man, he often drove me insane but I still loved him just the same and I learned a whole lot more about myself, too.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Updated Mar 5, 2019 at 5:57 PM by KDaddy23
[FONT=verdana]By the time the wife and kids got home, Tim had had dinner fixed - after going out to get some stuff to make dinner with (which he wanted to do). At some point, my wife gave me a look that said that there was probably something we needed to talk about and I gave her a look that said that, yeah, there's something we gotta talk about and later, after we made love, I told her what Tim and I had done earlier and, to be honest, I expected her to tar and feather me for it even though she knew that I was bi; it was quite a scary moment for me as I waited to hear what she was gonna say about it.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]"That's cute," she said, smiling at me in the darkness. "I kinda figured it was gonna happen."[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]"Huh?"[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]"I could tell he wanted you and he's wanted you since we first met him," she said, surprising me. "So, you know the rule - you have to tell me how it all went down." Because we had an open marriage, one of our rules was that whenever one of us got with someone else, we had to share the juicy details and whether the sex was good or not... so I told it all and including how I felt about him and even told her how he managed to totally fool the daylights out of me.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]A week later, Tim lost his job and had to leave his apartment because the owner was selling the building; he needed a place to stay and my wife told him that he could stay with us and she wasn't going to take no for an answer and I guess he knew better than to argue with her about it. Once he moved in with us, man, it was strange but wonderful... and kinda annoying in that Tim would pounce on my cock and suck it every chance he got and no matter what I was doing - but never when the kids were present, of course. I found myself doing "double duty;" I'd make love with him and with my wife and it all made having sex even better than I had ever known it to be.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]Once, I had just finished screwing my wife and as she nodded off, I went to the bathroom to pee and throw some water on my face when Tim came in, took one look at me standing there naked, and started to suck on my dick... and a dick covered with pussy juices, which alarmed me until he stopped long enough to look at me and say, "Your cock tastes good after being in her!"[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]Who knew? He sucked me into hardness again and made me cum as I leaned against the sink to steady myself and it went without saying that I wasn't going to be the only one getting their balls emptied.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]He was wonderful, magnificent as a person and as a lover and I was still dealing with the fact that I loved him so much. He got along well with my wife and kids, which was even better. I remember the night my wife invited him to sleep with us and, wow, gave him his first taste of pussy, which I was sure he wasn't going to like one bit but he surprised me (and her, I think) because he went down on her without giving it any thought and he even let her suck his cock. I asked him about it the next day and he said that it was a first for him doing that with a woman and he could see why I loved her so much and, strangely, it did my heart good to hear him give her praises and just as it did when she told me that he did a good job eating her for a guy who'd never had pussy before that night. The thing that gave me fits was getting Tim to fuck me, something he was very reluctant to do even though he said he understood my point that when you love each other as we did, it makes sense for him to not be the only one getting fucked. What I didn't know then was he was what we'd call a bottom today so using his cock on me was anathema as far as he was concerned... which didn't stop me from imposing my will upon him and "making" him "prove" his deep love for me by getting his dick in me and fucking me until he creamed me. Oh, he didn't like doing it but he was really good at it - and he said that he wasn't. But I understood his side of things and I spent more time fucking him than he did me... but I was determined that he was gonna fuck me just the same and, shamelessly, because we loved each other and if for no other reason than that. [/FONT]
Updated Mar 5, 2019 at 5:58 PM by KDaddy23
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]For me, becoming an adult was just more of the same when it came to sex but the highlight of adulthood came when I fell in love with another guy. It wasn't as if I'd not heard of such things happening but like a lot of guys, bleh, that was never gonna happen to me! I had been aware that some of the guys I'd get with "regularly" would express such feelings and some were miffed that if they told me that they loved me, I didn't - couldn't - return the sentiment because that's just not how I was feeling about them. Because it was possible, I really decided that if it happened, I'd deal with it at that time but, for the most part, I didn't expect it to happen. Until I met "Tim." Nice guy, flaming red hair, green eyes, very good bowler which is how we met as he needed bowlers for his team so my wife and I joined him and while we didn't win any championships, we had fun hanging out together and Tim got to be a close family friend and to the point where it wasn't unusual for him to drop by our home and hang out. One such Saturday afternoon, right in the middle of talking about bowling earlier in the week, he challenged me to a wrestling match and I laughed at him and told him that he might not wanna do that, given that I held two black belts, one in judo, one in karate but he insisted that he could take me anyway. I laughed even more but stopped laughing when he suddenly tackled me - well, he tried to; my training kicked in automatically, I recognized he wasn't a real threat but that didn't stop me from literally wiping the floor with him and letting him experience what it felt like to have some joint locks applied. I had to give it to him; he learned he was outmatched but he was game to keep trying until I got him to cry "uncle." And I admit that it was fun tussling with him and if nothing else, it reminded me that gay men are still men even if they're girly in their mannerisms - and Tim was about as girly as it got. Time moved forward but one night after our weekly league match, he asked me if he could come home with us because there was something he had to talk to me about and I said that he could. Once the kids got settled for the night and my wife had left us to talk privately, I said, "Okay, what's on your mind?" Slowly at first, Tim started out by telling me he was gay - but I knew that already and told him so. He just nodded and went on to say that there was this guy he was really interested in but he didn't know how to tell the guy he was interested and he wasn't sure how the guy would react to know that, as he put it, a gay fairy had the hots for him. I listened to what he had to say and in my mind, this wasn't the first time a guy had come to me to ask about something like this and I told him honestly that even though being gay wasn't a good thing to be these days, if he cared about the guy enough, he should just tell him how he feels and what, if anything, he wants to do about those feelings. Tim nodded and was quite for a long moment before he finally said, "I think I love you... and I want to suck your cock!" I was floored - and that was an understatement to end all understatements. At the same time, a lot of stuff instantly fell into place and it was only then that I realized his motive behind wanting to wrestle with me most of the time; I saw that when we did, my god, he had been feeling me up and only then did I realize that he was quite aroused the whole time! How did I miss all of that and how did I not see how he'd go out of his way to do things for me and how he'd disguise a lot of it by doing stuff for my family as well, not that any of us asked him to? All I could do was sit there and look at him as I tried to find some words to respond to what he just told me - I wound up saying something dumb like, "I don't know what to say!" and, well, I didn't know what to say. I liked him and even though I knew he was gay, I didn't think of him in sexual terms at all. "I've offended you," he said and was that a tear sliding down his cheek? "No, I'm not offended, I'm just surprised," I said. "It's not like I've never had a guy ask me if he could suck my dick or anything like that - I just never expected to hear you ask, that's all." "Can I?" he asked. "It would mean so much to me..." How could I tell him no? I mean, I could have and probably would have if it hadn't been for the fact that this guy was sitting in front of me, had poured his heart out to me in a rather backhanded kind of way, was was even crying... so I told him that if that's what he wanted to do, okay - we'll just have to find a time to do it. We could have done it right then and there but I needed time to get my head around this. That weekend, the wife was out with the kids and was going to be gone most of the day at some church thing; Tim had come over and as expected and when I let him in, he blurted out that maybe this would be a good time for him to show me how much he cared for me since it was obvious that our car was gone... and all he did was bring it up before I did; I'd had the time to make up my mind about this. We went to my bedroom and we got undressed; his cock was beautiful to look at as it stood out from his body and I could feel myself becoming quite aroused as well as he gently pushed me to sit on the bed, then knelt before me and started to suck me - and my mind went blank. I'd had lord knows how many men suck my dick but none of them had ever done it the way he was doing it and when my brain finally woke up, I thought that not even my wife, who was damned good at sucking me, could do it like Tim was doing it. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the bed with Tim trapped between my legs and fucking into his mouth until I came and I was so emotionally moved to watch him swallowing my cum... and I was stunned by such an emotional response on my part. But I didn't have time to dwell on that because Tim had a cock I just had to suck. I pushed him over onto his back and swooped down on him and believe it or not, he actually tried to stop me and even asked me what I was doing; I told him to shut up and I got busy sucking his cock and, again, I was almost overwhelmed with the power of my emotions and emotions that were amplified to hear him moaning and groaning, cursing and even pleading with me to stop because it was his job to pleasure me and not the other way around. I figured that if he could talk to me while I was doing this to him, I wasn't doing a good job so I gave in to the lust and other emotions and other than a lot of unintelligent shit coming out of his mouth, that shut him up once and for all. I remember the sheer joy I felt when I felt his cock expand in my mouth, followed by a load of cum that, oddly, I thought he'd been saving up for a while because there was a lot of it, hot, creamy, and pretty damned tasty if I must say so. I released him and looked up at him... and he was crying and sobbing! At first, I though he was upset but quickly realized that he was crying because he was happy. I sat there watching him get himself together and I got around to taking a look at the way I was feeling and realized, without a single doubt, that I was in love with him and had been all along - I just didn't realize it. I wasn't one of those people to confuse love and sex but I had had time to think about all of this before we had sex so, yeah, I knew how I felt about him. It was scary but it felt good, too. I asked him if he was okay and he smiled and said that he was but also told me that he'd be even better if I were to fuck him, if that was okay. I honestly didn't anticipate fucking him but, in for a penny, in for a pound. I got something to lube us up after he got me good and hard again and as I got between his legs and started to push my dick into him, I never took my eyes off of him; I saw his love for me and felt my own love for him. I was all the way in him, his legs locked around me and for a long moment, we just looked at each other; he said, "I am so in love with you..." And I replied, "I love you, too..." He then surprised me by saying, "You're the first Black guy I've ever been with - did I mention that?" "No, you didn't," I said. "It's true, you know," he said with a sigh. "What is?" "You've got a nice big dick," he replied. "It is most certainly bigger than my own and any other I've had." I couldn't believe that we were actually talking about this while I had my dick buried in his ass... but I guessed that's what love can do at times. I fucked him and even though this wasn't the first time I'd fucked a gay man, this was so... different and so much that I could close my eyes and easily imagine that there was a woman impaled on my dick such was his reaction. I had to admit that until now, I'd never really given much thought to how good it was to fuck another guy other than it feeling good to fuck, if you know what I mean. But this moment meant something to the both of us, didn't it, and I loved the way he clung to me as I started to cum inside him, loved how he cried out to give it all to him and how much he needed every drop of my sperm inside him. [/SIZE][/FONT]
What do people like? I find my mood changes about this.
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