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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I’ve learned that I’m bisexual because I can be; I’ve learned that the gay folks who say that they’re born this way are actually right - we’re all born this way but we do choose to act on this ability or not so the gay folks are quite wrong when they insist that choice plays no role in things.

It is part of the nature of the beast we are, designed, equipped, and biologically motivated to have sex. Is there a “gay gene?” I dunno... I’m not a geneticist. Is any of this really a social issue or even a breakdown of morality? Or is this really a matter of people who have reason not to be straight simply doing what comes naturally to us as a social and highly sexual animal?

That makes more sense to me than a lot of the stuff I’ve read about over the decades and stuff that seems to complicate things more than anything else as well as serving to make us whistle in the dark about our need for sex and by any means at our disposal to do so.

We want to believe that the answer isn’t as easy as it really is; we’d rather hold onto beliefs and systems of beliefs that falter in the face of reality - men and women do have sex with each other and not always in the preferred boy/girl mode.

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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Once I discovered two forms of sex and their pleasures, I’ve always wanted to know why doing the nasty “both ways” seemed to be so normal and natural despite everything I’d been told about why it shouldn’t be.

I’ve been searching for the answers, finding them both within myself and so many other people who are just like me, learning why they’re like me, maybe not exactly, and how they came to be like me or not so much.

I’ve interacted, in some way, with so many people around the world, have taken a close look at customs, religions, the differing views of what it means to be sexually moral, as well as the many laws we have regarding sex and, interestingly, how many of them are based upon religious beliefs and, oh, yeah, not really as enforceable as we think the laws are.

I’ve learned that just when you think you’ve got it down pat, another wrinkle, another difference, or even another similarity appears that says, for the most part, that people are bisexual (in particular) because we can be and provided we have a reason that, perhaps, only makes sense to us, for taking all of the rules of sex and modifying to suit our own purposes and needs, be they physical, emotional, or both.

I’ve looked at the taboos and they make sense, like, why a brother shouldn’t fuck his sister and the reason why he shouldn’t is what might happen if she gets pregnant by him and it’s this wrinkle that makes it forbidden.

The main reason why a brother shouldn’t bone his brother - or any other guy - has a really simple reason: Two guys just aren’t gonna make babies no matter how hard they try to. We shouldn’t masturbate for the same reason; “Jillian” isn’t “doing her part” if she’s wreaking havoc on her clit and coochie and she sure as hell ain’t fulfilling her role when she climbs into bed with “Kathy” and make each other happy.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I recall this one time when a white friend’s parents got with mine to arrange for me to “babysit” my friend for the weekend. I don’t remember exactly why he was being left at home but he was 12, I was 13 and I was honored (and surprised) that I was being requested and, holy shit, getting paid to watch someone who, frankly, could’ve watched himself... except this guy was a trouble magnet a la “Dennis the Menace;” when he wasn’t looking for trouble, it found him easily enough.

Once I arrived, his parents ran it all down for me, complete with emergency phone numbers should something bad happen; my briefing was done, they got in the wind and before I could ask him what he felt like doing, he was out of his clothes and saying, “I thought they’d never leave!”

The funny part is I had no idea he liked to do it with other boys. Now, if you think I did the responsible thing and told him to get dressed and to behave himself, you’ve got the wrong guy. His next words were, “I always wanted to do it with you and now’s my chance!”

The short version was except to eat, use the bathroom, and my talking to his parents who checked in quite often, we did it to each other all weekend. Hell, I was on the phone talking to his dad, telling him about something that looked important that had come in the mail... and his son was sucking my dick and it took all of my concentration to sound both bored and normal.

We didn’t sleep much, either. When his parents returned, it was like nothing had happened at all; the house was clean, no dishes in the sink and we were watching TV... after sneaking in one last chance to suck and screw each other.

I honestly reported that he gave me no trouble at all except making him clean up some milk he spilled. His parents were happy, my friend was more than happy, and they took me home after paying me what I thought was a lot of money.

I wound up “babysitting” him a few times...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It always seemed that multiple guys attended a sleepover, there was always that one guy who either didn’t know how we were gonna keep ourselves entertained once it was bedtime - real or faked - or he knew what was gonna happen and didn’t want any parts of it.

Not that the party-pooper would stop whatever was to happen but it really wasn’t until I was well into my adult years before I understood how terrified such a guy would be to watch his buddies sucking and fucking each other until the wee hours of the morning.

We’d sleep... eventually and it went without saying that when we got called to get up for breakfast, we’d be some sorry looking dudes because chances were good that none of us got more than a hour or two of sleep - and that didn’t count those mornings when we’d wake, our dicks redwood hard and just roll over and slip it into the other guy’s butt or go down on him because who doesn’t like to be awakened to the delicious sensations of someone sucking your dick or having your ass once more fucked and filled with sperm?

Now, I don’t wanna sound “racist,” but I had the best sleepovers with white kids, those very horny motherfuckers. Many of my white male friends would make it very clear why they asked if I could spend the night ormthe weekend with them... and some of those guys made me look like I didn’t like sex at all.

Some managed to surprise me; I’d have no idea they liked dick like I did bit once behind a closed bedroom door, wow, I’d sure find out pretty damned quickly! For those guys, the typical lead-in was always, “Hey - have you ever done it with a boy?”

Even if they admitted that they hadn’t, you could bet the house they were more than willing to do it with me and again, jeez, those dudes would be so eager and enthusiastic that it wasn’t funny.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I loved them for a few reasons. One, it got me away from my family (or out of my neighborhood) and the other reason was that, oh, eight out of ten times, I’d spend most of my sleepover time having sex with my host. Even having a sleepover with someone New was fun because ya never knew how it was gonna turn out other than two (or more) friends spending the night or weekend with each other.

And to be honest, I was pretty sure that the only reason boys had sleepovers was to (a) find out who might be interested in sex or (b) who was 100% down for it. It’s not to say that there was never any legit reason, like, you were going somewhere with a friend and it was just convenient for you to stay there.

One of the things that, as an adult, would make me laugh was how many times I’d be at a sleepover, knew good and damned well some sex would be in the offing... but we all acted like it was the last thing on our minds, often offering up lame excuses to be in bed when the sun hadn’t even set.

Which was usually quite strange since getting a guy to go to bed “at a decent time” was pretty much impossible outside of school nights; I also wondered how many parents whose boys hosted sleepovers really knew what was going on when we were supposed to be sleeping.

If ya had one guy sleeping over and it could turn out to be some very sexy fun, imagine how much more fun it was when a bunch of us were hanging out?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Do you know this like I know it? If you don't, what are you waiting for? What are you afraid of? Why are you not availing yourself of this forbidden pleasure? There are untold millions of men who know like I do and while there's nothing about sex that's like a fairy tale - there's a reason why they say sex is dirty and nasty, after all - those untold millions of men can't all be wrong about this, can they?

I assure you that they aren't... because I know I'm not wrong about it and explains why, for 54 of my 63 years of life, if there's a dick I can play with, I'm gonna play with it and in whatever way I want to. Whether it's just "innocently" jerking him off; whether it's getting a little more personal and sucking his hard cock until he cums and gets soft again; or even when I want him inside me and, I'm loathe to say it this way, breeding me as I would any female.

I know I'm not wrong to feel another guy's hand wrapped around my cock, pulling on it and in ways I'd probably not do to myself, each tug, each squeeze, bringing me closer to that which I want and need to do: Release my sperm. I know I'm not wrong to open my eyes and look down to see another man feasting on my erection, feeling his mouth and tongue working in concert to pleasure me and coerce me into giving up my sperm. It's still just a "strange" sight to see but that's part of the allure of having a guy sucking your cock.

I know I'm not wrong when I mount him, ease my hardness into that forbidden, off-limits place, to feel his muscles surrender and give up resisting my entry, seeing myself sliding into him while taking in the look on his face as I do so - and because I've been where he is now, I know exactly what he's feeling, both the good and "bad" of it. I know I'm not wrong to watch my hard cock going in and out of him, knowing that at some point I'm going to inject my sperm into him even as I know I don't want to because I don't want this incredible feeling to stop, even as I know all too well the risks I'm taking being inside of his very forbidden and dirty place... and even as I know all too well that sex is always risky.

I know I'm not wrong when I feel my cock quiver while being squeezed by muscles that don't want me where I am; I'm not wrong when I feel my cock swell, pressing back against those muscles and I'm not wrong to feel that first spurt of semen leave my body and enter his and all those delicious pulses as I empty myself into him, both to my delight and his.

Because if I was wrong, why do I keep wanting to do this?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]While jerking or sucking a guy off is a lot of fun, there's nothing more personal, more intimate, than feeling his hardness invading your backside, all nice and slippery from whatever lubrication has been used, feeling your anal muscles protesting against "going the wrong way on a one-way street." It's so nasty because we all know the main purpose of that hole but we also figure out that if something big and thick can come out of that hole, something big and thick can go in as well.

It hurts... but it hurts so good and you know it's not going to hurt for very long as you settle in to experience another man's lust as he fucks you, working his cock in and out of you and, if nothing else, answering for you that one question that you, like other guys, may have asked: What does it feel like to be fucked? It's wonderful, crazy, scary and even annoying; you want him to hurry up and cum just as much as you'd be okay if he didn't cum any time soon. You feel... vulnerable, exposed, maybe even helpless and, for some guys, yeah, you feel so... "feminine" to experience the same thing you've subjected so many women to as you cling to him, moaning and groaning and begging him to fuck you and to not stop fucking you, the words sounding so strange and foreign coming from your mouth and as if someone else is saying these things instead.

Then you feel him get harder, thicker, longer trapped within your ass; if he's inside you bare, maybe you'll feel that first explosion of sperm, followed by the pumping; if he's all covered up, you still feel the pumping and it feels glorious and even shameful to really understand what it's like to be inseminated. It makes you feel even more vulnerable, more "girly," if you will and you wouldn't mind if this very moment could just keep happening, that he won't stop injecting his seed into you but all good things do come to an end, don't they?

He withdraws... and you feel so empty; maybe you feel "used," or dirty as well but once he's out of you, you're also happy that he's no longer inside of you and sad that he isn't - it is so fucking weird to be fucked, to not be in control of your feelings and then being able to feel things that, supposedly, no man should ever be exposed to.

And in any of this, I've always asked myself, "What's not to like about this?" Well, there's plenty not to like, to be sure but not enough to make you stop whatever you do to be the recipient of another man's lust and sperm and/or, if you're of a mind to, subject him to your lust and do some inseminating of your own and, of course, provided he's not gonna act like a scared virgin having sex for the first time in his life.

Maybe, after all the sperm has been unloaded and delivered, you feel... guilty, used, and so dirty and soiled that no amount of soap and water will ever make you feel clean again - how do you deal with these sickening feelings? You ignore them if you can but embracing them and turning your shame into a good thing because no matter how you're feeling now, didn't it feel very damned good while everything was being done? Didn't you feel so... alive, sensual, sexy and, dare I say, slutty? Kinda whorish? Maybe even needy?

And if you feel so used, dirty, and guilty, why are you already thinking about doing it all again? It's because you, just like me, like dick and even if you don't like the guy attached to it all that much... or maybe you do but what really matters is that you liked and wanted him enough to have sex with him. Why subject yourself to any of this? There's only one real and true answer:

Because you want to; you need to; you have to because to not subject yourself to the physicality and emotionalism of it all doesn't make any sense and you know, just like I do, that having sex always makes sense; otherwise, there's no reason to do it at all. It feels good... and bad... and crazy; it can hurt so good because it teeters on the edge of pleasure and pain, releasing all those pleasurable endorphins that causes that sexual high we're all familiar with.

And to do any of this with a guy who understands what other guys want and need? Priceless. Scary. Intense. Forbidden.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Once you get to play with a guy's dick, you get to understand how much "nasty" fun it is to take it in your hand and massage it until he cums, or in your mouth or ass. There's probably not a one of us who hasn't spent a lot of time spanking the monkey either out of necessity or just because there's nothing else to do and it just feels so good. Still, wouldn't it be nice if someone else would do it for us and share in the experience?

There's something about making another guy lose his load that is, again, "nasty" and intriguing, engaging in that battle of wills - which is always interesting - and a battle that both of you expect to lose and, in fact, you [B]want[/B] to lose that battle... later on rather than early on. You know what a hard cock feels like in your hand and even though women like to say, "If you've seen one, you've seen all of them," it's not really true so, sure, to have another guy's cock in your hand is quite a rush and more so since we all know that we're not supposed to be touching each other like that in the first place.

To have a guy's cock in your mouth is just as "nasty," scary, and such a wonderful feeling. And while many of us worry about him unloading his sperm into our mouths, well, unless you're preparing him to slide into your tight asshole, the main reason for sucking a guy's dick is to entice him to cum. Again, there aren't too many of us who don't know what it feels like to have our cock sucked with or without busting a nut, just like I don't know of too many guys who haven't wondered what it would be like to be the one doing the sucking even though you know what's gonna happen if you should suck it the right way and/or long enough.

You feel his body responding, hear the changes in his breathing as he curses, moans, and encourages you to keep going and to not stop and such things just stroke your ego to know that not only are you enjoying what you're doing, he's enjoying it as well as you bring him closer to the edge of the cliff. You feel his cock quiver in your mouth, feel him get thicker and longer; you hear him curse or groan as he fucks into your mouth - and you know he's not in control of what he's doing and the ego gets stroked once more because you're the reason he can't control what's happening to him.

That first spurt jets into your mouth... and then there's the fierce and intensive pumping action, his groans or whatever as he gives into his release... and a release you encouraged him to do, his sperm a sort of reward for all the work it took for you to get him to this special moment.

And does it get any better than that? Sure it does if he's of a mind to return that favor and provided he's in any shape after you're done with him, that is.[/SIZE][/FONT]