All Blog Entries

Almost 40 yrs ago I met this woman in collage who was very petite but very outgoing, her small body and huge appetite for sex really turned me on. She invited me to a private sex party on campus, ii was just a country boy who experimented with my child hood friends on oral sex. she taught me that there's much more than that. It was that night that we became lifelong partners and swingers. She used to tell me sex is just sex, our love is way deeper than sex. So since then we have openly shared our bed with close like minded people.

She has taught me there is not shame in sucking cock in front of her, and no shame if I see another man fucking her. For 38 yrs of marriage we have shared many an encounter with our group of like minded friends. We keep and maintain a close circle of couples whom we trust to be safe and bug free. If im traveling and she has a visitor its someone we know and trust. The same goes for me, I always tell her if I hooked up with someone outside our normal group and always get tested. But the best part of our group is we take turns on where we play. a couple yrs ago us 5 couples decided to go to the Florida keys. That was the most awesome time any of us had ever had. Watching her get laid multiple times a day far surpassed our home bound play.

Unlike myself and my horny wife has anyone acted out a porn scene they watched? Last weekend my wife and I watched a video which involved piss play. We are not normally into pee play but the video we watched looked hot and inviting. So one on one we tried it and she was so turned on by it we invited some friends over. My wife stands no less than 5'4 115 lbs and very small in the pussy area and tight as all hell. We invited 4 of our closest man friends over to see if she could handle 5 hard cocks pissing in her pussy. Afterwards she said it was the most intense sexual pleasure she had ever experienced.

It?s no secret that my wife and I are in an open relationship, we both have multiple partners of both sexes that we entertain, however ifs it?s me I mostly play at their house, the wife entertains in our home. But last night was different. She got dolled up and went to town with out me, arriving back home around 10:30 her panties showing in her purse and her hair all messed up. Now she knows how I am when another man?s cum is leaking from her. I got up and undone her jeans only to find a huge wet cum soaked pussy and all she could do was smile, eat that cum soaked pussy you bastard. My dick was as hard as it could be but I said wow there is a ton of cum and it a huge turn on for me to eat her cheating pussy.

She said she was feeling naughty and needy and so she arranged not 1 but 2 of our group to play. I slid my dick into her and fucked her hard and long and as she begged me to cum I said fuck you take it bitch for not letting me play . Just before I busted my nut I pulled out and shoved it down her throat and spewed my sperm deep in her throat, once I was done she smiled and said duck what a night.

It explained a lot. I'd realize how alcohol can "make" someone do something that they wouldn't even think about doing when they were sober and like how a man who was drunk felt the need to bribe me with money because "that part of him that couldn't lie" told him that he wanted to have sex with me and, well, he did and... I fucking loved it. Probably makes me a weirdo in that I have never felt that he molested me but, yeah, I know some shit about that. What I did know was that all of the stuff I'd been told about having sex with a boy was... a lie. Of omission, mostly, because, I would learn, society did not want guys to know about this aspect of sex. It was taboo, a sin, and demonized to the nth degree but, as I've said here before, I had asked myself a question: How can something that everyone says is so bad feel so good?"

And learning the answer: It feels good because it's supposed to feel good. I... adjusted to this easily and, no, I'm not even sure why I did and probably and very likely because I didn't know that I was supposed to be "bothered" by what happened. I knew it shouldn't have but it did and my friends knew about sex with guys, too, and we were off and running with it but if we could do it to a girl, oh, yeah! I would learn about the wrongness of men having sex and, well, while the rules says as much, human nature isn't always... nice about such things. In all the categories I put together as I strived to understand bisexuality, I saw the good and the bad of things and, importantly, how guys deal with it and for better or worse. It seemed to me that no matter how a guy got introduced to sex with guys, they either went "buck wild" over it or... not. The psychology of this is both fascinating and complex. It is at this point where I must say that what I've written isn't about good or bad; it's not about morality or the religious dogma that gave birth to our morality.

This is about... boys being boys and even when they're grown up boys. The many things that can happen for a guy to find out that, hmm, it's not all that bad or, sadly, the worst experience ever. Some get past it and thrive and... some can't or don't. Some guys originally found it not to their liking but, at some point or for some reason, they're interested again. Sexuality or "just sex?" The answer to this was, "Yes. Details to follow." because for a lot of the men I've talked to, it was about their sexuality and for others, just another way to have sex and in ways that no woman could or would. I say that some guys find their "inner girl" and are keen to let her out to play and understanding that it's more true than one might not want to believe.

Guys who wondered what it was liked to be fucked would be scared but keen to find out and they'd find out that, yeah, it hurts going in but not so much once you get used to it and it was a truer expression of self as well as a unique way to experience sex that, again, women can't do without some artifice being employed and even guys who were getting pegged would ask and wonder if the real thing really did feel better.

Or the many men whose first step into this kind of sex was a blowjob. Giving or getting one and by whatever means, situations, or conditions it happened under. Those guys who professed to wondering what it was like to suck a guy's dick and... is cum really the acquired taste that women said it was? Men like my protege who was introduced by a friend of his and, well, he had problems getting his head around it. He told me about sucking this guy's dick and it shocked him that he was even doing it - and one of the questions I asked him was, "Were you also surprised that you knew how to suck his dick?"

And he was. And he wanted to know why and I happen to know some stuff about that but even he, one of the men I call "modern bisexuals" came to the conclusion so many of us older bisexuals came to: It's not as bad as they thought and why did I wait so long to do this? The many men whose first impression of this was bad because they way they wound up with a dick in their mouth was the... "wrong way" to get one. Being able to admit to themselves that while the situation itself was bad, um, sucking dick and having cum in their mouth... wasn't really all that bad and some feeling... better about it because I'd tell them that they weren't and aren't the only guys who find this out "the hard way" and letting damned near all of the men I have ever talked to about this know that, nope - you're not alone in this as you think and feel that you are.

I... state the facts as I've come to learn them. I don't sugar coat them. I do not invoke moral righteousness or claim to be a legal expert about sexual laws both past and present. I know what I know because I made it my business to know... even if to be able to explain my own bisexuality to myself. That and... someone has to speak to the truth of things and do it without being PC or afraid to speak on this and if no one else will, then I will because this is a damned important thing to and for men around the world and I'm never going to speak just on the good parts because that makes me "as bad" as the people who believe that bisexuality isn't real and that bi guys are really gay guys or that, yeah, guys having sex with each other is ALWAYS BAD - and even if and/or when a guy decides for himself that no matter how or why he wants to have sex with men - or is having a field day getting some dick - it ain't all that bad and it feels right, normal, and natural...

Because it is. Maybe not so much how one could find this out but, yeah, it's normal and natural because having sex is normal and natural for all of us... because we're human.

Married men who were either unsatisfied with the sex they'd have with their wife or, for some reason, she just cut him off. I would learn that the absolute worst thing was to be married and bisexual. One of the things I'd find myself pondering was how does a guy who isn't getting pussy from his wife just decide that having sex with a guy is the thing they have to do? I would learn that for some guys, "logic" suggested that if they were to cheat on her, if they did it with another guy, well, they didn't cheat on her with another woman so... it's not really cheating.

I'd ask these guys, "Well, if you decided to go this route and cheat, why not do it with another woman?" but for me, it was a rhetorical question because I knew a lot of guys who cheated with another woman and found himself "right back where he started" once that initial rush was over and done with. Guys, it seemed, were a more attractive option because they were only interested in sex and the less complicated it could be made, the better - and by "less complicated," that meant no emotional involvement with each other beyond plain old lust and being horny. Still, I had a few guys ask me why they chose to turn to men and my answer was... I don't know. Logically, it doesn't make sense for a guy who has never had sex with a guy or even thought about it coming to the decision that their old lady ain't putting out - or putting out in the way he'd like her to - and, well, let's check out men to have sex with.

For these guys, the ends justified the means and it wasn't really a sexuality thing but just a sex thing. One such married man told me, "I've done everything that can be done with a woman so this is the next thing to do." This, interestingly, did not include those married men who, in thought or deed, already knew that they were bisexual (and even if they wouldn't admit it). Along with this was... the Specter of Pedophilia. Brrr. In my teens, I had a lot of sex with married men but I wouldn't say that they were pedophiles but men who were taking advantage of a situation; real pedophiles had a different behavior and "feel" to them and I would "know" that one was checking me out because the man just weirded me out because it was like I could feel him so very focused on me and, okay - time to be somewhere else. But a lot of the married men I'd had sex with in my teens... just needed the sexual release and either a release they weren't getting with their wives or release in a way that a woman couldn't provide them and as evidenced by how married men I fucked because, in today's terms, they were a bottom or, if not previously disposed to have sex with a male, being "the girl" in a sexual act was they way they felt they needed to be.

My curiosity would go into overdrive with these guys and I'd ask them to explain why they wanted to have sex with me so that I could learn and understand and I got quite the education from these men where being married is concerned. But those guys also felt that having sex with any guy... wasn't really cheating on their wife but they'd also go through great pains to make sure she never found out because divorce is expensive and messy. One such guy went out of his way to convince and "prove" to me that he wasn't a pedophile but he was very desperate for sex because his wife was ill and unable to have sex with him and... he knew that there was something different about me - and I was still in the process of trying to figure that one out. I was surprised when he said that seeing me made him realize that he was... missing something and that it was sex with a male that he was missing and since I was 16 and legally allowed to consent to sex, um, could he suck my cock and would I fuck him so (a) he could feel whole and (b) it was better than jerking off.

Between unmarried and married guys, this was... just part of the whole of sex even if some rules were being broken. Sometimes it was a sexuality thing and sometimes it was... just sex. No "predation" involved but I was learning that men are... opportunistic fuckers. If there's a chance to have sex, it'll be taken if at all possible. I had, in fact, learned this growing up with my friends but the adult version was... different. Guys were either looking to explore their thoughts and feelings of bisexuality or... they just wanted to have sex and just like in one's younger days, if you didn't mind, it didn't matter - and let's keep this under our hats, okay? Still, I talked to a lot of married men who felt they were at the end of their sexual rope and having sex with another man... made sense. It implied that they were bisexual but this word was already being made synonymous with "homosexual" so it wasn't like a lot of these poor guys would admit to being bisexual because it was like admitting that they were gay - but their "denial" was teaching me a lot of about being male, sex, and sexuality.

Although I was seeing the different ways a guy could be bisexual, what was of greater interest was how these men saw having sex with other men and it still fascinates me to this very day. In any of this, it isn't what we can do with each other but why we do - and then, how one feels about, bluntly, committing a mortal and moral sin. I was learning that the rules are what they are but human nature itself doesn't much give a fuck about the rules we make that prohibit men from having sex with each other and things like being young, old, married, single, etc., didn't mean a whole lot. I learned a lot of the history of homosexuality and, damn - who knew that it was allowed and, in some cultures, it's still allowed? I didn't... but I found out and the main reason why was... those cultures had no belief or connection to Judeo-Christian religious beliefs and, wasn't that about a bitch? And it explained why so many men I'd talk to would go through a crisis of faith.

Oh, the shame of it. A lot of the men I'd talked to had yet to get over the shame they felt for having sex with a guy and "leaning on it" helped them to suppress their bisexual feelings but, in talking to many of them, they knew that they had no real reason to be ashamed but just couldn't seem to get past it... until they happened to learn that they weren't the only guy who, bluntly, got turned on to sex with guys and, sometimes, in a very similar way that they did.

I would see that there were a lot of hard similarities involved or those categories I mentioned and that included those guys who were "in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time" and found themselves having sex with a guy and, more often than not, having a problem accepting that despite how it all went down, um, they liked it... but the Specter of Gayness would be all over them like a wet, moldy blanket and, indeed, I would learn that damned near ever guy I've ever spoken to - including myself - had a moment of wondering if they were really gay because while they wouldn't admit to (a) having sex with a guy and (b) liking it, they knew that they did but because they were still very much attracted to women, the fear of being gay would, over time, go by the wayside - but many wouldn't really admit that they were bisexual because having sex with a guy was "something they didn't do all of the time."

But they'd do it when they had to. Lots of talk about the shame and guilt felt - except for those guys I tagged as being "naturally bisexual" because they just never felt it and seemed to be immune to and proof against authority figures trying to instill the moral guilt into them. One of the major things I found myself saying to the men who carried this shame and guilt with them like an anchor was... there's really nothing to feel guilty about because guys have been having sex with each other all along. While there was shame about how they got introduced - via incest or being molested - the message to them was, "Look, it happens. It has always happened. It sucks that it happened to you in this way but if it's still fucking with you, um, that's you letting it continue to fuck with you. Yeah, if you had a choice in the matter, we wouldn't be talking about this but the truth is... you didn't and it was what it was but if you cannot find a way to put this behind you and leave it there, you're always going to be bothered by this and it will affect you every day until you do."

Being introduced by a brother or other relative was a huge piece of this puzzle. Sometimes gleefully so, sometimes not but, eh, it wasn't that bad, and some guys said that they enjoyed it because it was a secret and they liked being "bad" in this way. Some were "immediately" of a mind that having sex with a family member was... the safer option and provided that their trust wasn't betrayed in that bad way. I personally knew guys who got their first taste of dick from a brother, cousin, uncle and even their dad and, well, that's not supposed to happen but that, I'd learn, didn't change the fact that it did. A lot of guys who were introduced in this way sometimes didn't feel any shame or guilt over having sex with a guy but felt... some kind of way because they were sucking their brother or he's fucking them and none of this is supposed to go like this but it felt good and even more so when, as one guy told me, "It was a two-way street." For some, being a part of committing the moral crime of incest was worst than the acts themselves but I would learn that a lot of guys who got turned on and out to dick in this way were able to set aside any guilt or shame once they learned that, nope, they weren't the only guy who experienced this.

Guys who were molested were, to me, kind of "all over the place." Either seriously and constantly bothered by it or, oh, well, it happened and they kinda/sorta "accepted" it and while this experience was usually a one and done kind of deal, for others, it was a part of their existence and they either hated it or, okay, is it really that bad? Talking to these men proved to be the more difficult conversations because they'd gotten "done dirty" and it negatively impacted them but, at the same time, eh, if they were to have sex with a guy, well, okay - as long as it didn't dredge up any memories of being molested. I found that there wasn't much I could say about this other than to offer up my feelings of sympathy and that, yeah, it happens like this and, for me, getting a very good look and "education" about men and how our need to have sex can go over to the dark side of sex.

Yeah, lots of chills going on with this. About as heinous as it can get but when in the pursuit of trying to understand male bisexuality, this aspect couldn't be "thrown away" given the many guys who were well and truly molested and by the existing laws in force at the time.

Then there were the guys who had the worst luck with girls/women and if it wasn't for bad luck, they wouldn't have any luck at all. A lot of these guys weren't the most fit or good-looking guys and girls, well, if there's the tiniest thing about you they find unlikeable, she wouldn't have sex with you if (a) you were the last man on earth and (b) she had to in order to save her life.

Personally, these were the guys I felt the most sorrow for because underneath what you could see, they were decent guys but since they were deemed to be unappealing, girls wouldn't bother talking to them or, worse, they'd believe some other girl's impressions about the guy and, well, if "Cindy" said not to do it with him because he's ugly, fat, doesn't have a big dick, his hair is bad and, well, anything Cindy could think of, then there's no reason to even look at the guy. For them, they had two choices left to them: Not having sex or... having sex with a guy. A lot of these guys were "afraid" to do this because as far as they knew, if they did, it would make them gay but they'd also learn that there was only so much jerking off they could do before it lost its appeal and luster. One guy told me that he was jerking off several times a day and to the extent that he'd gotten so dehydrated that he had to be hospitalized and after that rather embarrassing episode - and embarrassing because he had to tell the doctor and his parents how he got so dehydrated, he'd decided that he would take the offer one of his friends made to show him how to suck cock and how to fuck.

Because it was better than the nothing he was already experiencing. Then there's... The Drought. That moment in a young man's life where he just can't get laid and I thought that this was so weird but I also saw - and benefitted - from guys suffering The Drought because they'd almost be driven to check out sex with a guy since puberty was still kicking their ass really hard and they had to do... something. One man said, "I didn't think it was a coincidence that I knew the guys who I could have sex with and that all of us (talking about his friends who were so afflicted) knew who those guys were and, hah, they were getting brisk business from us!"

Some of these guys admitted to using this "dead period" in their sexual lives to explore their curiosity and more so when, again, parental oversight prevented them from doing this so The Drought was the perfect opportunity to satisfy their curiosity. Others were really at odds and desperate for sex and like the guys who couldn't get any pussy, the overall thought was, "Nothing from nothing leaves nothing... and this is better than nothing... I hope." Guys going through this stayed with it until the flow of pussy started up again for them, but I noted that in the times when they couldn't get any, that they'd turn to sex with men again was, at first, surprising but, later, I'd see the sense of it.

Few of these guys would admit to being bisexual even if they knew that they were. The Specter of Gayness hung over all of this and while some guys found that being gay did, in fact, work the best for them, some guys confessed to suppressing things to avoid accusations and suspicions of them being homosexual. One of the things I would notice when I'd sit and think about male bisexuals was that almost every guy I've ever talked to already knew about "faggots and queers" and that they were to avoid them like the plague but circumstances were as such as to not avoid them all that much and more so when, in a lot of cases, these gay dudes were available, willing, and very able to give them the sexual release they wanted, needed, and/or craved and depending on how they were introduced to sex with men.

I'm hearing their stories and they were fascinating. For almost all of the guys I talked to about this, their first experience was... sucking dick or being sucked. Playing "Show Me" with a friend, which led to touching and giving it a kiss or just sucking. I would be tickled over the many guys who swore that they didn't know what they were doing but I would point out them that, um, isn't it odd that you somehow knew how to suck a dick? Indeed, in a lot of the men I've talked to, they'd "slice and dice" their sexual experiences with guys and in an attempt to deny that they liked whatever they did, oh, like, sucking dick but because no one was shooting cum, it didn't mean anything and other forms of denial that was... prevalent in many stories.

Apparently, my ability to see any comments left is... busted. So, if you have a comment, please message me with it so I may see it and respond if necessary.

I know why I'm bi and how I got to be this way. Over the years, damn, I must've talk to a thousand or more men who wanted the answer to this question and in the different ways it would be posed. There were reasons for fielding this question from guys because it made me learn and understand this sex thing between guys and to learn, understand and, importantly, accept that, hmm, this sex thing with boys was the cat's pajamas and not as horribly bad as my parents and other elders were saying it was.

I would learn that there were... "categories" involved. Some guys were just "naturally bi;" from their earliest awareness, they knew that they not only liked boys and girls but also REALLY liked them. Many of these guys said that having sex both ways made sense, felt right, normal, and natural but, sometimes, parental oversight would often get in the way of them being able to express their sexual feelings while many more managed to dive into the world of sex and with unfettered joy.

Then there were the guys who were... introduced. By friends, family, and those who didn't fall into these two categories. Many of the men I've communicated with fell within this category and it was either eye-opening amazing, the worst moment of their life, or the event left them confused about it and even "on the fence" about whether they enjoyed the sex that was brought to their attention. For some of these guys, it was like one or two experiences and the fear of being discovered as being a faggot would have them walk away from any other experiences but they still felt the need to have sex this way and, often, despite feeling a lot of guilt or experiencing a loss of self-esteem and self-worth. For those who were, let's say, "rudely introduced and against their wishes,) the pain of such a traumatic event was pretty bad... at first; some of these guys said that, over time, they found that they had to work through this in order to, as one guy said, "Get out of bed every day and get the fuck on with my life." He also said that despite the "despicable way" they got introduced to sex with men, the desire to do this never went away and he would get busy with guys and as opportunities presented themselves.