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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Go down on me. Take my cock and cover it with licks and kisses then make me gasp as you close your mouth around me. Let’s not have any of that teasing or edging shit; don’t keep looking up at me to see if I’m looking at you or otherwise making goo-goo eyes at me.

Dont make love to my prick - suck it. Show me how hungry you are; work your mouth, lips, and tongue on me as if your life depends on it. Forget about impressing me with your skill, not that it won’t be appreciated but it’s not your skill I want to experience.

It’s your desire. I don’t want you to be concerned with making me last or making me cum “too fast;” just suck my dick like you mean it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I don't knock people for having preferences but those horny-ass white kids I knew taught me that the only real preference was to have sex - period. Let's do it because we can do it and worry about the consequences later. When getting with a Black person became a "thing" at first, I was thrilled... until it started to become clear to me that most of the time, a white person would want to get with me just because I was Black - and not so much because of my sparkling personality, intelligence and wit.

It took me a long time to stop being miffed about that and, yeah, sometimes, it still fucks with me to run into people who see this as some kind of novelty or something to check off of their bucket list. I understand it but I grew up understanding that it shouldn't make a difference so, yeah, sometimes, it still bugs me a little.

My protege has a thing about Black men and I've remained curious as to why some folks have this preference. I've asked him about it and the funny thing is that he can't really tell me why he has this preference but, this, too, over the years and decades, has taught me something: Familiarity does breed contempt. Or, as he put it, he sees white guys all of the time and, as such, he just doesn't pay much attention to them and, as strange as it might sound, it actually makes sense. I see Black people all of the time and, um, yeah, I wanna have sex with most of them but sure - you don't always go that way because it's "par for the course" - I can't explain it any better than that.

Those horny-assed white kids helped to teach me that I can look at anyone and feel a desire to have sex with them... because they're people... and a lot of people like having sex. It's a big-picture look; seeing sex for what it is and can be more than what it's supposed to be or even how we can tend to make it be. Again, I don't turn my nose up at anyone who has, let's say, racial preferences; I just don't see the real point in having them since if they serve to do anything else, it eliminates people from consideration when you're horny and wanna let laid.

I know white folks who would never consider having sex with me... because I'm Black. And they can't explain why although, in some situations, eh, they did and came away with a less than stellar opinion of it but, I think, not fully considering that it wasn't the color of the person's skin that made the sex shitty - it was whatever was going on inside their head that made the sex shitty.

The very white poly-wife I had told me once that she grew up knowing Black kids and that she even liked this one Black guy. Did she have sex with him? Nope - never crossed her mind and until I had gone to her that night and made love to her, well, it was a first time for her. She told me that before that time, she just never thought about it and probably because "she wasn't supposed to" have sex with a Black guy.

And all it did was make me think about how... insular and tribal we can be about having sex with each other, that utter nonsense that races should never mix when, hmm, they've been mixing all along. I learned before I was a teenager that if I didn't want to have sex with you, the color of your skin wasn't they reason why - it would because there was something about you I didn't like, that "beauty" is only skin deep... and ugly is sure as shit very deep to the bone.

As long as someone isn't my idea of an asshole or a cunt, sure - we can have sex if that's what you wanna do and I hate admitting that there are a lot of people who can't "pass" this particular test of mine... but it's just us being human and I get that - I just don't think we should keep being like this and one day, we'll fully learn not to let our differences stop us from enjoying sex together... because we're supposed to enjoy doing it to each other and in any way we can.[/SIZE][/FONT]

I've wanted to write this post for a long time. This is a bit of a leap because I can't find anything on this particular topic on Bisexual.Com, especially nothing like what I'm about to share, so here goes...

As a man, I feel lucky to have had some amazing opportunities to explore my sexuality through workshops on sacred sexuality. I feel I owe it to my journey to pass along some of what I've learned. -- and this topic is especially one that's very near and dear to me, one that has amounted to the most for me in terms of my growth and understanding on so many levels.

Over the years, my experiences of sacred sex have included workshops at hot springs on sex and spirit, erotic massage training, tantra gatherings; books, classes and loads of online resources.

Also, I'll say -- for sure, and from personal experience and with a strong sense of sincerity: I have found the world of sacred sexuality to be very open to bisexual men -- indeed very accepting of men and women of ALL orientations, life experience and lifestyle.

Put simply: bi men have a place, can find respect, can connect with community, and are welcome in many, many of these communities, and I'm happy to share this -- and if you don't get anything else from this post, you'll get the best I have to offer by taking this one point to heart.

So, here's a brief synopsis, a few key highlights of what I've learned.

First off, I'd like to stress what I believe sacred sexuality is -- and what it is not.

Here's my own definition: Sacred sexuality is any of a number of approaches or practices which accept and embrace sex or erotic pleasure as a positive force to inform and enrich one's life. Sacred sex is intended to assist human potential, emotional and psychological growth and development, expand consciousness, cultivate inner peace, find happiness, feel one's heart, heal inner wounds, experience contentment, and realize ease of being. Sacred sex can include a focus on the experience of what is sexually arousing and exciting to break through barriers and experience higher states of consciousness. Ultimately, sacred sex may help us realize how all things are inter-related and interdependent. Sacred approaches to sex can help us realize how Sex is like a light within us. It can radiate and shine into our lives and our relationships with others if we choose to allow it.

What sacred sex is NOT: it's not a free-for-all; it's not about orgies. It's not about "free love"... Sacred sex is not a quick-fix; it often involves rigorous practices and techniques that require discipline and committed effort over a longer period of time. in fact, many of the sacred sex events I've attended don't even involve nudity (though a few do).

What I find best around approaching and navigating sacred sexuality is to drop any preconceived ideas you might have -- especially at the beginning -- and allow your own investigation and experience to be your guide. Trust in your own experience, how ever that may manifest for you.


Sacred sexuality can include aspects of and resources from:

Tantra
Sex-positivity
Mindful sex
Union of sexuality and spirituality
Sacred self-pleasure / spiritual solo sex - masturbation intentionally focused on generating higher states of energy awareness within the body
Conscious open relationships - polyamory
Sex Magik
Ecstatic Dance
Erotic Yoga
Somatic Sex



Some key points I've learned from Sacred sex -- these are my own, your mileage may vary:


1. Sex is a journey -- we might better regard our sexuality as a process rather than a goal. We might open to the possibilities that our sex lives can reveal a deeper meaning to our experience of life, and that meaning may have a sacred or spiritual dimension to it. The journey of our sexual lives might not need a destination, rather the wisdom is found in the unfolding of it. Sex and sexuality might be here as resources to help inform us of something deeper about ourselves.

2. Sacred sex can be healing -- we have wounds, all of us. We wouldn't be alive if we weren't being injured or hurt along the way; pain is a reminder that we ARE alive. Sacred outlook around our sexuality is here to help us heal our hearts and open our minds.

3 You are good just as you are -- who you are and what you are all there really is. Your life is workable and good just as you find it. Especially for bisexual men, we have to overcome so many biases and judgments and expectations and categorizations -- many from society, but many of our own making -- this message I find to be particularly helpful.

4. We are meant to experience the joy and pleasure that sexual energy can bring us. By attuning us to the subtle energies that sex is about -- ones that so often go unnoticed -- applying sacred outlook to our sexual being is a wonderful way to discover and learn and grow and expand and fully embrace our erotic pleasure.

5. Sacred Sex can make us aware of the harm we may cause -- As men (and women), we can learn how better to engage with our sexuality in ways that cultivate respect and love and honor and compassion and overcome the cycle that creates harm for ourselves and harm for one another.

6. Ultimately, we are all light. We are love itself. While we are living our busy, burdensome lives, mindlessly marching to fulfill our many obligations in life, it's easy to forget the profundity of this simple existence. With each breath we take, it's a miracle that we are alive now but for a fleeting space of time. We come and we go - yet there is something unique, even sacred in between. Sacred sexuality is a way of finding meaning in our lives, in ways that can go far deeper, tapping into our deeper consciousness -- and we can remember who we are as sacred beings through our sacred opportunity -- which is right now...


Let me know what you think... I look forward to your thoughts and comments... I love Bisexual.Com and come here often.

-- Perry in the San Francisco Bay Area

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]But, again, interacting with these crazy white kids taught me something important, that sex should be carefree and hassle free. Not careless, mind you, but, eh, it's no big deal. I wanna have sex and you're right here - let's do it! None of that "you have a big dick shit" or "you don't have a big dick" shit; you have a dick - let me suck it then you can stick it in me and cum. Sex for the sake of having it and enjoying it without any bitching about how bad it might have been... and if it wasn't enough, well, let's do it again, okay?

When the interracial thing broke open, wow - there were a lot of pissed off people! Black men/women were raising all kinds of hell to see a Black guy/gal with a white person, yelling and screaming about staying with your own kind when, in fact - and when it came to having sex - um, hmm, staying with your own kind wasn't getting you laid so much, was it?

"What's the difference between me and that white bitch I know you're fucking?" a Black girl I knew asked me.

"She'll fuck me without giving it a second thought - and you wanna fight just because I'm looking at you," I had said. "I asked you if we could have sex... and you started telling me every goddamned reason why that was never gonna happen - do you remember that? This girl I'm dating? I asked her if she wanted to have sex... and she said that she thought I'd never ask. That's the difference."

She wasn't happy and, as I came to learn, those who weren't happy about this "new interracial" thing were unhappy because they didn't like hearing the truth of things and a truth that I may not have really learned were it not me knowing a lot of very horny-assed white kids.

Sure - knew a lot of equally horny Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, etc., as well - they just reinforced the growing opinion and theory that color doesn't mean a whole lot... but the desire to have sex means everything and the less hassles in the way of doing this, the better.

It made me even more colorblind; made me get a bigger and better picture of what sex was and, perhaps, the way it was meant to be and to be enjoyed.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]If they wanted to have sex, they had zero qualms about asking me. None. No shame. None of that racial shit that plagued that period of time. "Hey, I have an idea - let's do it!"[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I was learning that I had been exposed to the wrong ideas about having sex. Now, it wasn't unusual for incest to jump off - not where I lived. But wow - the white kids? Again, made us (Black kids) look like we were rank amateurs when it came to this very forbidden form of sexual interaction - and they were not bashful or ashamed to admit that if they had siblings, yep - they were doing each other big time.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]Or as one guy told me after he sucked my brains out, "Who do you think taught me how to do this? Wasn't the other guys I hang around with..."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]Oh, my. Those ultra-horny white kids I come into contact with were teaching me something very damned important and something that shouldn't be ignored: The color of one's skin doesn't matter and it should never matter. And it got better going into the teenaged years and even better once I got into high school. Trying to get into a Black girl's panties was almost impossible; you had to meet too many requirements and specifications... but white girls? If they weren't concerned about the "racial implications," it was, "I like you - you wanna ball?"

Hanging with my white male friends outside of school? "What do you wanna do?" "I dunno... what to you wanna do?"

"Let's do it!" and, of course, "it" being have sex with each other. No fear. No hesitation. Asked this one guy, "What if we get caught?" and he shrugged and said, "We just get caught - ain't no big deal and it ain't like my parents haven't caught me doing it with a boy before..."

Say what? Shit... let my parents catch me having sex - period - and I could look forward to getting my ass kicked! I don't know how many times I'd done it with a white guy and his father took me to the side and said, in no uncertain terms, "I know what you guys are doing - just don't get caught doing it, okay?" Wink, wink. The first time a guy's dad said this to me, I damned near shit myself - literally; I had an amazing urge to go to the bathroom and I just barely made it.

Man... no wonder they - Black adults - told us that white people are crazy![/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've had sex with men and women from all walks of life and in quite a few places around the world. When it came to relating to people, I was taught to be colorblind - don't look at the outside of a person and call it day but find out what makes them tick and be interested in them and not just the color of their skin.

And this has worked well for me throughout my life but, um, wow, I've always been amazed at how easily the white guys I've been with have taken to having sex with other guys. I've known Blacks, Hispanics, etc., to hem and haw over this - and I know some of this is stereotypical hype - but especially when I was growing up, yeah - more white guys than any other were more than willing and eager to get naked and have sex and many of them would make me look like I really didn't like doing it with other guys.

Even though I lived in a predominately Black neighborhood, I had a lot of white friends and I'd had sex with most of them and I began to think - and, perhaps, understand, that white kids had a better outlook about sex than "my own people" did. I can't even begin to remember how many times I met a new white kid and, after introductions, one of the first things a guy would ask was, "Hey... have you ever done it with another boy?" and followed by, "Do you wanna do it?"

Hell, yeah, I did! But, wait a minute! I grew up in an environment that said that Black folks were hyper-sexual and, by and large, that was true if not a bit overly exaggerated at times... but the white kids I met and got to know? They made most Black kids I know appear to be uninterested in sex! And it didn't matter whether the kid I met was a guy or a gal.[/SIZE][/FONT]

I worked my way up to a dildo 3 1/2 inches wide and 18 inches deep .I love the way it feels all the way in .

My first blog was about the internal struggle of accepting my sexuality, this one discusses what actually happened to make me accept it.

Looking back over the years I think the number one thing that made me suppress my sexuality is family and the disappointment it would be to them should they ever find out. I never had the exposure to same sex activities in my formative years that so many seemed to have had on here, perhaps things may have been different had I but the opportunity never presented. Would I had it? I don't know, teenage and horny makes me think I might have and simply put it down to youthful experimentation.

The first exposure I had to same sex content was via gay porn. The internet had arrived and whilst initially I used straight porn to masturbate to, it was not long before I looked up gay porn via newsgroups. I downloaded pictures only, 33.6k modem and video content are a no go. I'm not sure when I started to look it up, it sort of just happened, perhaps it was curiosity or perhaps it was the emergence of my sexuality either way, it was short lived. I didn't stop watching it because I didn't like it, I stopped because I was nearly caught masturbating to it and thus begun the denial and suppression stage. I often think back and wonder if it might have been better had I been caught as it would've been out in the open. I'm not sure which would've been more embarrassing, been caught masturbating or what I was masturbating too, probably the later. I would not look at gay porn for another 20+ years.

The moment I truly realised I was bisexual would happen 20 years later when for the first time in my life I experienced the incredibly strong desire to kiss another man. I had experienced a couple of same sex attractions prior but not once did I ever feel the need to kiss them, this was a first for me. Why didn't I twig on the first two attractions? I don't think I realised I was attracted to them as there weren't any sexual overtones or they were being suppressed sub-consciously.

Needless to say I didn't kiss him but it left me confused and gave my sexuality the opening it needed. This was my catalyst. Little did I know had I, he would've reciprocated but that's a story for another day. Always leave them wanting to know more.

With my curiosity now sparked I introduced male masturbation stories in to my masturbation sessions, initially solo stories but soon after mutual. I had discovered edging by now so these lasted hours. Words gave way to visual and I would resume my love affair with gay porn but not before I bought an anal toy and opened my backdoor for exploration. I very much enjoyed all these sessions right up until the point I ejaculated, then the guilt and shame set in and I would swear that it would be the last time. It never was. Months would go passed and every day the same thing happened, ejaculate, admonish myself.

Something had to change, I googled sexuality tests and found a few and did them all. You have to answer them truthfully or it's pointless doing them. The thing with sexuality tests is, if you're taking them, you already know the answer and are really looking for confirmation like I was. The confirmation helps strangely enough. Not one test said I was heterosexual, all said I was at the very least bisexual. I didn't accept this immediately but it was not long after when one day after a particularly enjoyable session I went to have a shower to clean up and I stared in to the mirror, thoughts flooded my mind and I said what I needed to say. "I am bisexual, I like cock too".

The relief was immediate, I had said it out aloud whereas previously it had never left the confines of my mind. Saying it out aloud was me coming out to myself. I needed to come out to myself before I could accept myself and initially I would go with a Kinsey two. The thing about being in the closet is you need an outlet. Porn initially works but eventually you need more so I signed up to Shy Bi Guys and read there were many just like me (perhaps not as messed up). I never could bring myself to post. I had accepted it, but posting was like coming out.

Once Shy Bi Guys shut, I had to find another home and ended up here. I signed up as a Kinsey three, equal and I had become comfortable enough in my sexuality to actually respond to and start threads. This helped me to realise I currently wasn't a Kinsey three and I changed my Kinsey value to a four. This brought it in to line with some of the tests to indicate a slight to moderate preference for men. No one probably noticed this but sexuality is about being honest to yourself and I felt I needed to do this for me. I say currently as I believe sexuality is fluid, it can change for a number of reasons and is only a snapshot of how I feel at this point in time. I do know one thing, I'll never be, nor ever was, 100% heterosexual no matter what I had said in the past.

With acceptance comes freedom and now my orgasms from masturbation are massive and incredibly enjoyable. I wouldn't want to give these up. I love being bisexual and I wouldn't change this even if I could. I believe I was born this way and it was only a matter of time before it would emerge. It's just a pity it took so long. Family still stops me from coming out today only because I let it, it's a mental thing, however deep down, I think they probably suspect or know. All in good time, I'm just enjoying being me.