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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A few days later, shit - I got hit by a car and, in retrospect, it's a miracle I didn't get killed. I did look both ways before dashing across the street and the next thing I knew, I felt something hit me and I went rolling down the street and when I recovered some of my senses, I was lying against a telephone pole with a whole lot of adults standing over me. The couple that hit me took me to the hospital, my father showed up and I got some stitches for the first time... and a root beer float when Mr. Softee came around.

I couldn't go out to play but my "girlfriend" came to see me and we wound up doing it right there in the living room and in the window seat; living on the third floor of the building, I loved sitting there and looking out at the area from such a high vantage point. So we're doing it, it's feeling good... then something was wrong; my heart was beating really fast, I was sweating like never before; I was breathing hard and fast, my vision was blurry and I just knew I was dying! The feeling almost made me pass out - what was wrong with me? - then, just as fast as it hit me, it was gone. I was dizzy, felt weak... but I could hear my girlfriend saying over and over, "You did it! You did it!"

I did what? What did I do? I didn't even know what just happened! I remember pulling away from her, trying to stop my head from spinning when she said, "Look!" while pointing down between her legs... and I saw a whole lot of kinda white stuff there coming out of her hole. I was still confused and she said, "You shot the baby making stuff in me! Do it again!"

The baby making stuff! Been hearing about that, too! Again, things just clicked in my head as I did as she asked and shot more baby making stuff inside her. It made having sex with my peers that much more exciting and made me very popular because I was the first among us to shoot the baby making stuff.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I discovered sex when I was eight and when, at my eighth birthday party, a girl who didn't have a present for me took me into the huge hallway closet (that had a secret space in it) and showed me how to do it to her. It was weird but so wonderful at the same time. After that day, I was on a quest to do it to as many girls I could and while some girls were too scared, many others weren't. No sperm coming out but, boy, did doing it give me a really good and tingly feeling.

Then, one day, a friend and I were playing in my apartment, got to tussling with each other, and my dick - and his - was very hard and painfully so. I mean, I'd never felt anything like that before and we stopped tussling, my friend asked me what was wrong and asked, "Is your dick hard?" I said it was and he said, "Wanna see something?" I said I did and he pulled his pants down (that's when I saw his dick was hard, too) and he took his fingers and started moving them up and down on his dick and, at one point, he got this dreamy look on his face, shuddered like he was cold - then he was okay and said, "You try it!"

I did; felt that good, weird, tingly feeling wash over me and the pain I had been feeling - and almost had me in tears - just vanished. Well, that was new! We spent some time "playing" with each other's dick and making each other feel good. At the time, I didn't think much about it although I had been hearing that we shouldn't be messing with that thing between our legs but, okay, what was that about? I think a few days later - and when my father saw me scratching my crotch - I'd been outside running around and got all sweaty and itchy - and he told me to stop before I went blind. I'd said, "But it itches!" and he just said, "Oh, well, okay, then..."

But all scratching the literal itch did was make me go in my room and play with myself until I got the good feeling... a few times. I didn't know what it was called but all I cared about was it felt good and that I was being "bad" by doing it.

I turned nine... and sucked a man's dick and he did it to me... and I was in heaven! By this time, I had been doing it to girls left and right, had heard that boys could do it to each other - and mostly from "eavesdropping" on the adults when they were talking and how nasty it was. Before that moment, I remember asking my father what a "faggot" was... and he went ballistic! Where did I hear that word? And me, like a dummy, told him that I heard his friends talking about it. Stern warnings about never doing anything like sex with a boy which didn't really make any sense to me, well, not until I got introduced to it a few days later.

And it all clicked in my head; I now and better understood that sex thing I'd hear the adults talking about in hushed tones but that experience had me asking, "How can something that feels so good be so bad?"
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It is and always been assumed that kids who experiment really don't know what they're doing or why they're doing it and for the most part, that tends to be true... but not always. Ya might not exactly know how to do something... but you damned well have an innate knowledge of what you're doing even if the why of it doesn't make sense... except, maybe, that it sounds like it'll be fun and naughty and in defiance of being told never to do such a thing.

It's a reality we don't want to accept but I think because we're aware that there's not much that can be done to prevent it, it's easier to turn a blind eye to it because, wow, just telling them to go ahead and experiment with each other sounds even more fucked up, doesn't it? So maybe it's really a thing of it being the lesser of two evils, to "allow" it or even anticipate it while, at the same time, being totally against it happening as as morality says we have to be.

Both my brother and sister are dead now and I have a lot of fond memories of them and, yeah, a lot of them are about the many times we had sex with each other. I could make myself deny that it happened or make up a bunch of shit to "explain" it away and, perhaps, as if I didn't want anything to do with any of it. And I'd be lying to myself. I can honestly say that I didn't want to... at first... and did it anyway. If I had known that telling my sister about that thing my father said would have resulted in me eating her, maybe I wouldn't have mentioned it... but that sentiment will never change the fact that I did mention it and I went along with it when she said, "Let's find out!" It doesn't change the fact that she revealed to me that she had been wanting to have sex with me and I was really surprised to hear that and when I asked he why, all she said was, "Because I trust you and I love you and if I couldn't trust you, who could I trust?"

A disturbing topic. But real life shit and I have the nerve to speak on it because it is real life shit.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Like the brothers in my extended family. I knew the older brother was having sex with his younger brother and I didn't find myself intervening until the younger brother came to me and told me that his brother was forcing him to have sex and, yep - I jumped in his brother's ass big time about that. I told him, truthfully, that brothers doing it to each other was so normal it was expected to happen... but if you try to force the issue, this is where the line has to be drawn and I told him that if I hear about this again, it was seriously gonna suck to be him. If he wanted to have sex with his brother, he'd better ask and if he says no, don't even go there.

Did they stop? No, they didn't and I knew it. Expected it to go on a bit longer. I know my own two sons were at it with each other and while I never caught them at it, I did catch them after the fact - trying to clean up their act and behave like they hadn't being doing what I knew they had obviously done. And I said something to them about it. I knew they were screwing their sister and didn't intervene until she complained about it and I read them the riot act right along with a guarantee that if she complained to me again, someone was going to really and seriously get hurt - and they knew I meant it.

Bothersome? You have no idea how much that bothered me but, at the same time, I also knew what the deal was and how powerless parents were and are and their only hope being that their kids obey the edict to never have sex with each other while hoping that if they do, nothing bad is going to happen.

We attach so much shame to this and I'd say understandably so since we eventually learn, as adults, what can go wrong about any of it and more so if we, ourselves, experienced sex in this way. It's a weird mindset that invokes "do as I say, not as I might have done when I was your age" and I've heard a lot of parents rant and rave against this and saying that their kids would never do such a thing... and I've told some that if you believe that, well, you're clearly the most clueless person on the planet. All you can really do is hope that they don't experiment with and on each other but I've also heard some parents say that they'd rather their kids find out about sex at home than to find out about on the streets... and that doesn't always mean giving their kids a lesson in sex education and revealing the truth about sex - the way it can be versus the way it's supposed to be.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]That friend I mentioned earlier? Well, they got caught one day and my friend's father killed him. Not because he was fucking his sister but he had gotten her pregnant and from what his sister had told me - after the funeral - was that she wanted him to get her pregnant and that they understood how much of a problem it was gonna be... but clearly neither of them figured on the brother losing his life.

So it's not as if there aren't some very bad outcomes in this because there has been... but most of time? Nothing bad happens and as long as the sex remains consentual and, after a certain age, the common sense precautions are being handled. Most get into it, have fun with it and then just leave it alone going forward and, even in my youth, I had suspected that most adults "allowed" it as long as nothing bad happened and they weren't careless enought to get caught in the act. I had realized that it was pretty stupid for us to think that we were up to something that our parents didn't know about and we were getting away with it... because chances were, they knew and we weren't really getting away with anything.

Even the night my mom caught me and my brother fucking and gave me a tongue-lashing I will never forget, I realized that while she was very angry, she wasn't in the least bit surprised although it did take me a little while to notice that. It didn't stop us but if nothing else, it confirmed what I had suspected: Parents knew we might do it even after telling us not to do it and now, for them, it was all about how it was going to go, how long it was going to happen and keeping a eye out for any complaints or signs of coercion.

And the "scary" part? I realized that if/when I had children, they were going to do the same thing and I would be a total idiot to think that they wouldn't. Only then did I understand what my parents had to deal with and understanding that you're almost powerless to prevent it while also understanding that, well, it's just nature running its course and driven by hormones. Of course, it's not to be "condoned" and especially between brother and sister but between brothers? It's gonna happen... or it won't and if it does, all you can do is hope that no coercion was involved and being reported.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The fact that we have always chalked this up to experimentation tells me that, yeah - we've known about this all along and, indeed, a lot of guys who've done it with their brother or even other guys call it experimentation when the reality is that it's just nature running its course and no matter what our morality has to say about it. Kids are gonna be kids in that if you tell them - and in no uncertain terms - not to do something, you've pretty much given them permission to do it since, most of the time, a parent will do this... but won't tell them why they shouldn't other than it's a sin, wrong, immoral, and just plain nasty.

I even know of guys who joyfully let their brother - or brothers - do him but that guilty conscious thing came along and hit them and literally changed their mind about it; they went from being all up in it to believing they were really all fucked up in the head, was "forced" to do it, and other forms of denial that didn't really absolve them of their part in things and, mostly, only served to give them emotional issues down the road.

Now... did I feel bad having sex with my brother? Yes. And no so much. What made it more interesting - and I've written about it here - is that we really didn't like each other and when we weren't having sex, we'd literally try to kill each other when we fought like rabid dogs. When I told my sister about that "don't put your mouth on a girl's pussy" thing my drunken father said - and she said, "Let's find out!" I didn't think twice about it but thinking back on the exact moment? Yeah, I did think twice about it because I knew if we got caught or our mom suspected it, there would be hell to pay. I thought about it for a whole second... then got between my sister's legs and started to learn how to lick a pussy. She learned how to suck dick with me and as I said, fucking just made sense and was the obvious thing for us to do.

When I expressed a concern about it, she famously said, "As long as you don't get me pregnant, I don't see what the problem is..." then commanded me to eat her pussy so we could fuck. I've had a lifetime to think about all of this and I just do not feel badly about it because I understand that it just happens and that when it does, it's not always a horrible and terrible thing, not as it's reported to be and how we want to believe it is.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I had another friend who was doing his sister - again, nothing "unusual" happening here and she was more than happy and willing to have sex with him and, sometimes, the both of us. Of course, everyone doing this... in-house knew it was wrong as anything could get... didn't stop it one bit. I learned to eat pussy courtesy of my sister and it just "made sense" for us to not only go down on each other but to fuck even though we both knew that if we got caught, I was gonna be a dead kid.

I know of a lot of guys who got introduced this way and it shames them to know that they did. Some guys were... forced to comply which, in my opinion, should never be done but it is what it is. Many weren't; they were actually very happy that their big brother wanted to have sex with them, had been hoping that they would despite the great taboo and the possible punishments... which really only meant one thing: Don't get caught.

Socially, it's a damned shame how we react to this because, again, it's not like it's completely unknown that it happens; otherwise, why is there a rule against it? There's a reason behind it... but only where brothers and sisters doing it are concerned because if she gets pregnant, well, you can guess what could happen and that is, in fact, a genuine concern. But with brothers? Well, duh, "Tim" and "Joey: ain't ever gonna get each other pregnant, are they? And, importantly, I think, if you can't trust your brother, who can you trust?
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Incest. A six-letter word and one with probably the most horrific connotations and taboo connected to it. As I said in a recent post about this, we, as a society, want to believe that it doesn't happen while knowing good and damned well that it does. It always has. It always will. It's so well-known that we actually make allowances for siblings to "experiment" with each other and as long as no form of harm happens... and ya don't get caught doing it.

My brother and I were lovers for a lot of years and, no, being the oldest, it wasn't even my idea to go there. My only brother asked me to do it with him, begged me to do it, and I said I wouldn't - the risk of getting caught was too great and we both knew what our parents had said about such things - we knew exactly what they meant by, "Or else!" But he kept at me and, yeah, I caved in and we did it... and of all the guys I had had sex with, doing it with him was much, much better. We'd committed a double sin and, as I said earlier, if we got caught or eve suspected of it, the storm that would land on us would make being in hell look like a summer vacation.

But I knew that we weren't the only brothers doing it. Damned near any of my friends who had a brother - and yeah, a sister - were committing this sin willfully and, sadly, sometimes, not so much. I watched a friend of mine get done by his much older brother and I could tell it wasn't the first time they'd done it.
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