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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As I recall, at the height of our boy-on-boy debauchery, there were twenty of us who were up to the top of our heads sucking dick and/or fucking and some of them just a bit outside of the four-block area we considered to be our neighborhood.

We had just one guy - Charlie - who was "girly gay" and many of us had thought that his two sisters, for some reason, had turned him into a girl. If you think I was a shameless whore, Charlie was even more so; once, he showed up where we were hanging out and trying to decide what kind of trouble we could get into, looked at the six of us, smiled. and said, "I got something for y'all to do - you can all do it to me!"

We pounced on him like a pack of starving wolves and Charlie was in heaven to suck all of us and have all of us fuck him for a couple of rounds and had it not been for us having to go home for lunch, he would have gladly taken us all on for a second trip on the dick train. Today, I wouldn't say that Charlie was a gay, submissive bottom... but he was a very gay bottom and once told me, in one of our one-on-one sessions, "I love being a girl!" He was just a girl with a good-sized dick that only a couple of select guys could suck, with me being one of them.

It wasn't that he didn't like having his dick sucked; he had just decided, after all of us eventually got around to sucking him, that there was only two of us who did it the way he really liked it - well, that's how he explained it to me, anyway.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]But the thing I was really learning about was everyone's sensibilities about sex and especially same-sex stuff. I was understanding more and more every day why everyone said that it couldn't be done and it shouldn't be done and when I heard some adults talking about the Bible and what it said about it, man, I couldn't wait to get my bible and start reading it and I did... then I found the parts of the bible that said boys doing it to boys was a sin and they would hit you with rocks and stones until you were dead.

Very sobering stuff. I knew why adults didn't want us knowing about it, knew they were having a hard time trying to keep us from finding out about it, probably even knew we were doing it in some way and against everything they believed in. And even though I'd now learned about the sensibilities of others about sex - even among my peers - a lot of it still kinda/sorta didn't make sense to me because of the obvious contradictions: They didn't want us to know about it until we were old enough and didn't really want us to know about it then but they knew we could find out about it before we were supposed to... and it bothered them big time.

My friends, well, some of them were getting weird about it, too. Some who weren't afraid to do it were now afraid to do it or were changing their minds about doing it with another boy; some who were masturbating like it was illegal (and, in a way, it was) were really afraid to do it and with all these changes in sensibilities, I'd keep asking myself, "Why?"

I still ask myself that question at times. We are so fucking weird about sex. We know we do it. We know the ways it can be done and, as bisexuals, we damned well know that it exposes us to more ways to have sex than a lot of people want to be bothered with knowing. I've been able to travel the world and learned that in some places, a lot of people have those same fragile sensibilities while in other places, eh, what's the big deal about it? Our fragile sensibilities about sex are ancient and we're made to have fragile sensibilities about it. Go ask your neighbor if they had sex last night... and watch how weird the get about it.

And, yeah, it's still considered to be very rude to talk about it and so much that you can't even talk about it with whoever you're having sex with. All it tells me is that we're not as "grown up" about sex as we like to think we are and, indeed, there are other countries who look at us... and laugh at how childish we are about sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning that a lot of people were easily offended when it came to talking about sex and there were even a lot of adults who'd want to start arguing and sometimes fighting about the subject coming up. It was never to be talked about, don't even ask about it, mind your own fucking business and change the subject before I kick your ass... and witnessing such interactions just generated more questions in my mind and a mind that was very keen to find the answers to. I was learning - and very quickly - how big a deal sex was either by reading whatever I could get my hands on to doing it and eavesdropping on any adult who had the nerve to talk about it and in any way.

I'd be with my friends and we were very eager to share any information we had heard of... while having all the sex we weren't supposed to know about or doing. Sucking cock, eating pussy, fucking the daylights out of each other, one on one and as a group. Pretty much all of the games we played could easily be turned into opportunities to have sex and the older we got, the more... suspicious adults were getting. Sleepovers were being "invaded" at random times and I knew that they were trying to catch us in the act... or stop us before anything happened... and I knew that they knew what we might have been doing - they had to know. Even I knew about how sex smelled; funky, sweaty, musky and a really heavy kind of smell that even opening a window didn't always make go away.

I knew that even washing up after having some kind of sex didn't get rid of all the evidence because someone could smell it on you... and I wasn't even an official teenager when I figured that one out. Sometimes I come in from playing, all hot, sweaty, and dirty and my parents would look at me really funny and one day, my father called me over to him and actually sniffed me before ordering me to go wash my funky ass.

And I knew why he did it. That day, maybe he did smell sex on me and maybe he couldn't since I had also been running around all over the place.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning that there were reasons why they didn't want us knowing about sex because they'd talk about how much trouble they got into when they were our age so hitting us with that "do as I say, not as I do!" crap started making a lot of sense. I was like maybe three weeks into having my first ejaculation (with a girl) and was learning what scared adults a lot: Making babies or, as it was called back then, getting a girl in trouble. Parents were tougher on girls than they were with boys and sometimes they talked about their suspicions that their kids were experimenting with each other and, again, man, they were paranoid about it even though they seemed to know that it could happen.

I remember the day when one father came stomping down the street to join the other men under the huge oak tree that was in front of the apartment building I lived in and he was very mad. Of course they asked him what was wrong and he had told them that he caught his sons having sex with each other and had just finished beating both of them pretty badly and now he was out of the house to cool down before he "fucked around and killed them."

The other men were saying stuff to help him calm down, added their support for how he handled it and one guy, I dunno, maybe he was more open-minded about stuff, said that if his boys were doing that nasty-assed shit, it was better than they learned it at home rather than out on the street. What I knew was his boys were learning it right along with the rest of us and the same with the two brothers who'd just gotten their asses kicked.

Later, I remember my father sitting me down and giving me a severe talking to about not even thinking about sex with anyone - and especially boys - and I had better not be playing with myself, either. He looked... funny trying to talk to me about something without giving anything away and not realizing - I guessed - that I not only knew what he was trying to say, shit - I was already doing everything he told me not to do. The funnier part about that moment was that, a week later, he told me to never put my mouth on a girl's pussy.

Y'all know how that went and even "funnier" was that my mom had told me to never let a girl put my penis in her mouth - and a few days after my father's epic warning, as I recall - and I had almost hurt myself trying not to laugh since her warning was way late on that one. [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I'd often eavesdrop on adult conversations and doing my best to be inconspicuous as they talked about their conquests, who was fucking who and, occasionally, their concerns that their kids - if they had them - were having sex. Sometimes that would spark conversations I'd find interesting and proved that, yeah - they knew we were gonna do it and that they had to do whatever they could do to stop us while realizing that it was pretty much impossible.

"You can't watch those little motherfuckers twenty-four hours a day," one man said. "But if I catch them, I'm gonna make them wish they were dead when I get finished with them!"

They'd all pretty much agree with that sentiment while others would proudly state that they knew their kids didn't know anything about sex and, once, I almost let the cat out of the bag and laughed when I heard it because I knew who this one man's children were (of course) and knew they were having sex because an hour before, I had did it with both his son and daughter... at the same time.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"Didn't you feel bad about having sex at such a young age?"

Maybe at first but it didn't last very long; this sex thing was just a lot of fun and the thing that made it more fun was knowing I wasn't supposed to know about it or do it. I had the... advantage, I guess you could call it, of being a very smart and intuitive child; the sex thing just clicked in my head, sparked my curiosity to near-crazy levels and the more sex I had, the more I was able to figure out stuff about it. After I got my first library card, I used to sneak around the library and read anything I could find about sex and that's where I first discovered the word, "bisexual." Sneaking around the library and reading about it made me feel like a spy in a foreign country and it was thrilling to be worried about a librarian catching me looking at those early pictures of both male and female anatomy or finding out that, um, babies didn't show up via the stork and because of the baby-making stuff called sperm.

And I was learning that we had a very naive attitude about sex and a very weird one at that. Figured out that parents and other adults were trying to prevent us from finding out because they knew we would. Figured out why I could no longer take a bath with my sister, why none of us could see each other in our underwear - even though, at the time, we shared a room. I had questions and I knew asking someone to give me answers would get me in a world of trouble... so I looked for the answers myself at the library and pretty much any of my friends I knew.

Some of them knew what I knew, many of them didn't - but they wanted to know and we set ourselves on the path to find out even though we knew that if we were discovered, we'd be in a world of hurt and trouble.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One day, a bunch of us were sitting around talking and the topic of when everyone lost their cherry came up. One by one, the nine or ten of us - both guys and gals - said how old they were the first time they had sex and when it was my turn and I said that I was 8 and told the story of it, man - you should have seen the looks on the faces of some of the people.

They were shocked, said I was lying, stated that there was no way I could have known about sex, etc., and I had replied to the derision with, "Just because y'all were late finding out about doesn't mean everyone was - and I wasn't."

In conversations about when one discovered their bisexuality, jeez, people would either be shocked, amazed, and sometimes "jealous" that in two short years, I went from having sex with a girl, having sex with a man, and learning how to eat pussy (although I never mentioned who I had that first lesson with). Some said it wasn't possible while others, well, they understood it since some of the folks I could talk to about this had their first same-sex experience at young ages as well... and some in similar ways, too.

One woman I was talking to asked, "Why do some people get so weird about having sex when you're young?"

"Because we're supposed to be innocent about such things," I had said. "It hard for some people to believe that you don't have to be 16 or older to figure out the sex thing; where I lived, shit, adults would hammer not having sex or even thinking about in our heads a lot, like they knew we were gonna find out about it and, I guess, trying to delay the inevitable..."

Quite a few guys I knew would tell me, "Damn, man - I wish I had grown up with you!" and I'd tell them, without any shame whatsoever that if they had, they would have most certainly found out about sex way before they actually did.

Another person asked me how it went down for us collectively and I really couldn't answer the question except to say that from my perspective, once I was shown how to stick my dick inside a girl, we all seemed to become aware of sex at the same time. I mean, the day after I had my first experience with dick, it was like three of my friends also learned about it and, um, of course, we had to show each other what we had learned and it just seemed to be contagious; four of us knew something about sex, then six of us, then ten of us and all inside of almost two weeks. In another week, there weren't too many of us who'd talk about and want to do the nasty with somebody... and there were a lot of us in my neighborhood.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I had an amazing childhood although there are those who would feel otherwise about all the sex I had and how I was doing it. And it isn't like I'm not totally and completely aware of those things and every implication that went along with it; I was then and I still am. Do I feel bad about it? No. I did it all, loved doing it all and even my grown up logic says there is no point in feeling bad about doing something I knew I loved doing. If anything - and as I already mentioned - the adult version of myself looks back at the younger version... and it's embarrassing knowing how easy it was to get me to have sex. I'd suck your dick or let you fuck me until your dick wouldn't get hard again. If you were a girl, I'd eat your pussy until you couldn't take it anymore and then fuck you in whatever hole you wanted to be fucked in until you said, "Enough!" or I couldn't do it any more.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]Huh? All you want to do is suck my dick? Okay... but can I suck yours, too? And, yeah, I'd get... mad if the other guy didn't want me to suck his dick... but I got over it... kinda. Today, if you're not gonna let me suck your dick, you're not gonna get to suck mine because why should you have all the fun? You wanna fuck me? Not gonna happen unless I get to fuck you, too. I grew up. I learned a whole lot of shit about this sex thing and more than the average person. I'm still not that picky; chances are I'm not gonna be "into you," probably not gonna be interested in being your "boyfriend." If I like you enough and you wanna do something, okay - we can talk about it. But I'm never, ever, gonna ask you to so something I wouldn't do.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And the most important thing is to remember that I am a man. I do "girly" stuff but do not make the mistake that I'm anything other than a real-deal, honest to goodness man. I ain't wearing panties for you. I am not submissive in any sense of the word. You will not ever cum in my face; to me, that's the same as spitting in my face and disrespectful and do not tolerate being disrespected. You get your dick in me? Cum in me. None of that pulling out shit and spraying it all over me. Homey don't play any of that shit. You don't have to swallow my cum if you don't want to and to that end, that face-fucking shit? Don't even try it because you think it's hot to make me choke and gag because I guarantee you that you're not going to like what I'm going to do to you.

I'm not your baby. Not your bitch. Not a "good little girl." And I make that clear with anyone right up front and if you got a problem with that, too bad. I learned some shit being a shameless whore about sex. You wanna spank me? I wouldn't if I were you... because I hit back and with evil intent. You wanna play rough? I'm not the one so get that shit out of your head and don't think you're gonna bullshit me or sneak some shit past me because I've had nearly a whole lifetime of experiences in this.

But, if you wanna do it, we can because I still love having sex. Man, woman, both. Didn't matter then, doesn't matter now and I'm still pretty easy to have sex with... but with those "conditions" I mentioned.[/FONT][/SIZE]