Being overweight does NOT equate with UGLY!

[Realist]

I posted something similar to this a while back, but the ugly face of prejudice raised it's head again.

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with a fellow I'd recently met, eating lunch. A pair of ladies came in and was seated across from us. They both were nicely dressed and involved in an animated conversation. One was a large, voluptuous, brunette, wearing an Empire-waist dress. She was very well-endowed with an hour-glass figure and I thought she was very appealing. The other one was slim and also very well-dressed. I was more attracted to the larger lady, though, and couldn't help but look over at her a few times.......while trying not to oogle. I was just thinking how pretty she was and, if she had a lover, I hoped they were happy together.

The fellow I was eating with, saw me looking and commented, "God, there are so many fat, ugly, women in this town!"

I was taken aback and asked why he'd say something like that.

He remarked that she obviously didn't give a shit about how she looked, then said, "You watch, she'll order a big plate of greasy food and woof it down like a pig!" (He was disappointed when the lady got a salad and iced tea.)

I'd only recently met this fellow and we were discussing maybe developing a relationship, but I was so turned off by his comments that I had no trouble making up my mind that we'd never get along! He seemed amazed that his comments were the deciding factor in my refusal to see him again!

I know some folks are not attracted to larger people...just as I am not attracted to skinny ones. But to make a thoughtless and inconsiderate comment about someone he didn't even know, like that, was just too much for me.

I would be just as offended if he'd said something derogatory about a person from a different ethnic race, religion, or culture. There was no need to say something like that, PERIOD! I only hope the lady never had an idea that such vehement things were being said about her.

It's strange: I found myself attracted and wishing I knew the lady, while he was reviled by her weight and felt obligated to make asinine comments about her! Oh well, scratch that fellow off my list of prospective lovers!

[cal_yor]

Thank you for havin the balls to post this. You are 100% right. A person should not be deemed "ugly" just because of being overweight. Everybody should be seen as a person first.

[onewhocares]

Realist....first...let me thank you for being a most honorable and non judgmental man. How many men would have been selfless enough to make your commets.

Let me preface my remarks with my description of myself. As many of you know I am a six foot tall, blonde not skinny minny wife of a bisexual man from Boston. Prior to coming to this site ( to find a man for my husband) I never f Did my size pose a problem...perhaps to some,but not enough to prevent them from getting to know ME...the person.

I have been in circumstances in the outside world where people...mostly men...have made comments about my size. I have perfected a couple of comments which throw their comment back upon themselves and too bad that they have not had the privilege to know ME. Many women can not do this...for they do not accept themselves...I do...and what a wicked ride it has been to accept myself for the nice person I am. It is the other peoples loss.

When I am in the company of someone who makes comments about another...be it their appearance, their race, their ethnic background...I can only think less of them for they do think beyond the box.

I do think that you may have done the right thing to move to the next person on your list. BE yourself is my mantra.

Belle

[Holmes]

Good for you . I am more attracted to a good spirit than the physicality of a person. Don't get me wrong if Angelina were tot hrow me a bone i would jump on that in a heartbeat. With that said I would rather a sexy bbw witha good heart than a skinny b***h any day

[Realist]

Thanks to you both.

I was raised by parents who said things like that all my life and, from an early age, it bothered me that they'd say such hurtful things, (Often within hearing of their victims) Black and heavy people were their most targeted ones. If they didn't know them from Adam, they'd still have opinions and comments about them. I loved them, but never liked the vehement way they acted toward others. I was determined to not follow in their shoes and accept each person on their own merits. It was evident to me that good and bad people came in different sizes and colors.

I admit, I am very drawn to those of softer and fuller features, but I have loved most, not for what they look like on the outside, but by what shone through from the inside.

[NYRangersFan]

I posted something similar to this a while back, but the ugly face of prejudice raised it's head again.

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with a fellow I'd recently met, eating lunch. A pair of ladies came in and was seated across from us. They both were nicely dressed and involved in an animated conversation. One was a large, voluptuous, brunette, wearing an Empire-waist dress. She was very well-endowed with an hour-glass figure and I thought she was very appealing. The other one was slim and also very well-dressed. I was more attracted to the larger lady, though, and couldn't help but look over at her a few times.......while trying not to oogle. I was just thinking how pretty she was and, if she had a lover, I hoped they were happy together.

The fellow I was eating with, saw me looking and commented, "God, there are so many fat, ugly, women in this town!"

I was taken aback and asked why he'd say something like that.

He remarked that she obviously didn't give a shit about how she looked, then said, "You watch, she'll order a big plate of greasy food and woof it down like a pig!" (He was disappointed when the lady got a salad and iced tea.)

I'd only recently met this fellow and we were discussing maybe developing a relationship, but I was so turned off by his comments that I had no trouble making up my mind that we'd never get along! He seemed amazed that his comments were the deciding factor in my refusal to see him again!

I know some folks are not attracted to larger people...just as I am not attracted to skinny ones. But to make a thoughtless and inconsiderate comment about someone he didn't even know, like that, was just too much for me.

I would be just as offended if he'd said something derogatory about a person from a different ethnic race, religion, or culture. There was no need to say something like that, PERIOD! I only hope the lady never had an idea that such vehement things were being said about her.

It's strange: I found myself attracted and wishing I knew the lady, while he was reviled by her weight and felt obligated to make asinine comments about her! Oh well, scratch that fellow off my list of prospective lovers!


wow if you were my age i'd so be pm'ing you right now... thats fucking awesome... i'm a bigger girl...not like too big but yea enough to annoy me..and hearing guys stick up for us is awesome! thanks man!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Realist-honey, like I said before, I love your way of thinking. ;) We BBW's are often ridiculed for our size by 'perfect' strangers, and will continue to be as long as there are closed minded, shallow brained dolts in the world.
Thank heaven and the Spirits that there are men (and yes women too) that are like you--Those that can see a person for Who they are, not what shell they reside In.
Biiiiiiggg soft warm snuggly hugs to you, and all who share your considerate views!
Soft cuddly Cat.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs realist, then pulls twyla in for a groupie......and a hug too

there is a song running thru my head from a movie with patrick swayze and wesley snipes ( I think ) they were portraying female impersonators....and the song from that was a song called * I am body beautiful *

I have met some bbw and bbm, that are simply gorgeous.... they have a personality to die for...smiles and laughs that have me weak at the knees.... and they carry themselves in a way that is so entrancing that you can not help but watch them move around a room......

yet we make remarks like more *cushion for the pushing *, more meat for the munching *... more butt for the banging * and personally thats nearly as bad as saying somebody is * fat and ugly *

in bisexual.com and out in the wide weird world... there are many BBP .... and while they may not have a size 10 body.... they have a size 100 heart.... and often that is more than I can say about people I know with the * model style * body.......

I may not be interested in every BBW and BBM that I meet..... but that doesn't make them fat and ugly..... but how I react to them and my opinion can make the difference between me being a FFL and a AFW.....:bigrin:

hugs all the BBP people out there, cos somebody needs to show the world that plastic boobs and barbie doll fiqures do not make a person perfect.... its the personality that makes a person a lover / friend / partner for life

PS FFL is friend for life and AFW is absolute fucking wanker

[old dog]

The most beautiful women I know personally are all big beautiful women...including the lady I live and love with,she is 285lbs and about 5'6",
and absolutely the best female lovin' I've ever been with in my 60 plus years.
Fact is I'm not that interested in any other woman...but would like a man to have occasional oral sex with a couple times a week.
old dog

[lady_starlight]

there is a song running thru my head from a movie with patrick swayze and wesley snipes ( I think ) they were portraying female impersonators....and the song from that was a song called * I am body beautiful *




The movie is To Wong Foo (or the long version: To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar). Absolutely great movie. Hilarious and touching all in one.

I applaud all of you who say you like us bigger girls. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside :D

Recently i met a guy online. We talked for a long time, then we met for coffee. He live about 4 hours away, so it was kinda a big deal. I was super nervous. He told me the first thing he was going to do when he saw me was say hi and give me a big kiss. And of course me being the self conscious girl that I am, was all worried he'd see all of me and want to run away. So he got there, and the first thing he did was say hi and give me a big kiss, and then pulled me under his arm and said "look how well we fit together". Awwww. I melted, lol. I just wanted to share that becuase he's one of the few guys who actually got to know me and liked me for me and he honestly didn't care one way or the other about my size. <3

[Jackal]

I think that people need to fit their own body. Some look better thinner and some look better bigger. It's on a person to person basis, I hate people who think that people should step on a scale to determine their beauty. Just cause it looks good on one person doesn't mean it looks good on another. I like bigger women, and thin, women, and muscular women, but only if it works for THEM. I think that Queen Latifah is gorgeous and I hope she doesn't lose a pound to suit anyone but herself. Think that people who say things like the guy in the story are really insecure about their bodies and can't stand the idea that someone else is happy with theirs. You should have asked him to strip naked and produce an erection for everyone's evaluation.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LMAO. Turn over a rating card and go "Ehhh, thats a 2 on Anybody's scale"
Let Him see how it feels to be put down for his size by God! lol :bigrin:
Laughing Cat

[Lateralus]

I think what's considered fat these days is badly distorted. The mainstream media really has brainwashed people into thinking that any woman that's not a size 0 is fat. I remember seeing tabloids about Jessica Simpson gaining weight, and I personally thought that gained weight on her was much needed. I love women that are built like Marilyn Monroe. If she was alive today she would be considered fat. Not everyone is meant to be a size 0. Some people just look better with meat on their bones. Viva La Curves! :tongue:

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Good post realist and I have to agree. Beautiful people do come in all shapes and sizes.

[littlerayofsunshine]

I think what's considered fat these days is badly distorted. The mainstream media really has brainwashed people into thinking that any woman that's not a size 0 is fat. I remember seeing tabloids about Jessica Simpson gaining weight, and I personally thought that gained weight on her was much needed. I love women that are built like Marilyn Monroe. If she was alive today she would be considered fat. Not everyone is meant to be a size 0. Some people just look better with meat on their bones. Viva La Curves! :tongue:

Poor Jessica... That tabloid incident was not her fault. They put her in Mom Jeans and Mom jeans are just not meant to be worn (Anyone see that SNL skit?).. She has always had a great body to distract me from her singing....


I am one that falls for a person's soul/spirit and charisma. I tend to lean to the more soft and voluptuous babes and don't think I have ever been with a girl smaller than a size 16. I also prefer my men "Fluffy".

[rissababynta]

I am five foot, two inches tall. I'm a short little thing. The only time I've ever hit 200 lbs + has been during a pregnancy. Needless to say, I have meat on me but I'm not really fat. However, having three kids in three years and dealing with a fucked up metabolism from a continued eating disorder battle has made me look much more out of shape than I probably should look right now at this point in my life. Not to mention that when I was smaller many years ago, I still had thighs, hips and boobs so I'm destined to be meaty forever (gotta love genes...). What I'm trying to say is that there are many factors involved with someone being overweight sometimes. It's not always because we eat gross foods or sit on our asses all day eating donuts. Our weight isn't always an indication of the way we take care of ourselves. It is not always a glimpse of our personality. Sometimes there is no deeper issue than that we are hefty lol.

Hell, I think that I'm ugly so I'll never get upset with someone else having that opinion. I think my body looks gross, so others opinion of that is welcome too. But there is no reason to be ignorant and mean about it...

By the way, we took the kids to pizza hut for the buffet last night, and I stayed away from the meat pizzas cause they looked greasy, stuck with one piece of cheese which mostly went to the kids, then opted to have a huge salad with lots and lots of brocoli and cucumber and I was soooo happy with my meal, so in your face to the dude that was with realist! lol:tong:

[Michael623]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It might be someone who is 100 lbs or someone who is 250 lbs. It's a personal choice and you can't force a person to concede that "big" is beautiful any more than you can "thin" is. One point with over weight people is the health issues that accompany it, i.e. heart disease, diabetes, etc.

[codybear3]

I posted something similar to this a while back, but the ugly face of prejudice raised it's head again.

It's strange: I found myself attracted and wishing I knew the lady, while he was reviled by her weight and felt obligated to make asinine comments about her! Oh well, scratch that fellow off my list of prospective lovers!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To some people, it is so much easier to look across a room and look down on people and make cowardly, hurtful comments...

To some folks, it is so much easier (I know it is for me) to walk across and give a smile and possibly strike up a good conversation...

Kudos, Realist, U don't need friends or lovers like these... :bigrin::paw::paw:

[jamiehue]

Well .. I have overweight friends i love them too. What i dont love is all the health problems they have sugar being the main one. Its not about weight loss but eating healthy and living a active life its a challenge for everyone but the rewards are there.

[rissababynta]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It might be someone who is 100 lbs or someone who is 250 lbs. It's a personal choice and you can't force a person to concede that "big" is beautiful any more than you can "thin" is. One point with over weight people is the health issues that accompany it, i.e. heart disease, diabetes, etc.

the point was not that everyone should think that fat people are all great...the point was that people shouldn't be rude and assholish while expressing their opinion about a fellow human being.

[BiRanc]

I am five foot, two inches tall. I'm a short little thing. The only time I've ever hit 200 lbs + has been during a pregnancy. Needless to say, I have meat on me but I'm not really fat. However, having three kids in three years and dealing with a fucked up metabolism from a continued eating disorder battle has made me look much more out of shape than I probably should look right now at this point in my life. Not to mention that when I was smaller many years ago, I still had thighs, hips and boobs so I'm destined to be meaty forever (gotta love genes...). What I'm trying to say is that there are many factors involved with someone being overweight sometimes. It's not always because we eat gross foods or sit on our asses all day eating donuts. Our weight isn't always an indication of the way we take care of ourselves. It is not always a glimpse of our personality. Sometimes there is no deeper issue than that we are hefty lol.

Hell, I think that I'm ugly so I'll never get upset with someone else having that opinion. I think my body looks gross, so others opinion of that is welcome too. But there is no reason to be ignorant and mean about it...

By the way, we took the kids to pizza hut for the buffet last night, and I stayed away from the meat pizzas cause they looked greasy, stuck with one piece of cheese which mostly went to the kids, then opted to have a huge salad with lots and lots of brocoli and cucumber and I was soooo happy with my meal, so in your face to the dude that was with realist! lol:tong:



I think you look good Rissa. :)

[rissababynta]

lol thanks

[diB4u]

I hold no bars, I'm a bbw woman, and for some they find me ugly and for others they find me hot.... but the question is that everyone judges themselves differently.

I know some bbw women and bhm that are stunning and some that are ugly.

I know some thin people that are also ugly and others who are attractive.

Being big or skinny doesnt ultimatically mean their gonna be attractive.

Its a case of inner confidence vs beauty,

outter attractiveness vs the judgements of others.


Spirit and soul vs body that will ultimately wither and sag.

I dont think much of myself at all, but thats me the person and i'd still think that way regardless of my weight.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

**I'd only recently met this fellow and we were discussing maybe developing a relationship, but I was so turned off by his comments that I had no trouble making up my mind that we'd never get along! He seemed amazed that his comments were the deciding factor in my refusal to see him again!**

Kudos and kisses to you, Realist. You deserve better than a crass, unclassed, idjet like that anyhow. Hope you kicked him to the curb promptly. (And that he paid for lunch...lol) ;)
Cat

[_Joe_]

My wife recently has lost a good amount of weight, and I mean a lot. She's telling me now that all around her, while being out in the world she's treated differently. The most common experience is she walks into a fast food place now and orders a burger and fries and the folks behind the counter don't even bat their eyes and give it with a smile. Before the loss, she said she always got a look "you should have a salad instead"

It's all well and good a few of us seem to have figured it out, but the majority never will. :/

[diB4u]

My wife recently has lost a good amount of weight, and I mean a lot. She's telling me now that all around her, while being out in the world she's treated differently. The most common experience is she walks into a fast food place now and orders a burger and fries and the folks behind the counter don't even bat their eyes and give it with a smile. Before the loss, she said she always got a look "you should have a salad instead"

It's all well and good a few of us seem to have figured it out, but the majority never will. :/

Yeah sadly Joe bigitory does exist and theres no laws to stop a person expressing their fatest attitude, but congratulations to your wife!!! Yeah i get that all the time, but thats life, they probably get it for looking how they look and of course skinny people are healthy, i know pleanty of skinny people that are more unhealthy than I.

[Lienda]

....a large, voluptuous, brunette, wearing an Empire-waist dress. She was very well-endowed with an hour-glass figure....

She sounds hot. What is he thinking? Marelin Monroe was a hottie that was curvey and velumptuous with blond hair, and would currently be considered "fat" by Human hurd monkeys who let trends and current culture do the thinking for them. >:D But then, that's just my blunt oppinion.

[jeancarleo]

of course not. i'm into all kinds of sizes in people but i like everyone to workout and care about their health.

Healthy life=longer life ;)

[conswala1987]

thankyou
some of these posts really made me feel great im a larger (size 22) bi lady and its nice to know there are ppl out there who find ppl like me attractive i think i have a pretty face but get very little to no attention from women or men ... i love attention specially from women so this was very much appreciated xxxx:female:

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Hell, I think that I'm ugly so I'll never get upset with someone else having that opinion. I think my body looks gross, so others opinion of that is welcome too.
You sound so much like my wife. You both have great faces but for similar reasons you both put on some weight. Life happens. I'll tell her the same thing I tell her and hopefully the same thing your husband tells you...I love you for who you are, not for your weight. There is so much more to attractiveness than looks. Dont be so hard on your self, Im not.

[jeancarleo]

thankyou
some of these posts really made me feel great im a larger (size 22) bi lady and its nice to know there are ppl out there who find ppl like me attractive i think i have a pretty face but get very little to no attention from women or men ... i love attention specially from women so this was very much appreciated xxxx:female:

Your picture reminds me of nve campbell back in the scream movies :P
You're pretty ;)

[onewhocares]

I have been thinking about this thread since my first post a day or two ago. I wondered if I have been somewhat optimistic in my perceived thoughts of my size (22) to others. So I actually contacted a lover or two and asked pointe blanc....each of the gentlemen nearly chuckled to think I would ask. They said that never, even in the beginning of our relationship was my size an issue. That the "sensual and desirous" woman within shone like a beacon attracting them to me. ( Thanks honey....the check is in the mail) I was taken aback by the comment. So I guess I never should have second guessed my gut reaction.


On another vein.....my husband recently lost nearly one hundred and thirty pounds over the last two years. While I did not mind it at first....as his size became much thinner...I find that I actually found him more sexually attractive when he was larger, but that does not change how much I love him. What has made the difference is how HE views himself now. While I have always been happy in my own skin....turns out he was not..until now.

Belle

[tink123]

I cant tell you how much I agree... being overweight doesnt make someone ugly. I myslef am a bbw. I have always been judged on this and thus the reason that I have not had many relationships. People always assume that large people eat their way into being big. Not always the case. Some it is a medical thing and some are just born big and cant seem to loose it. The only day in my life i havent been big was the day i was born. I do not eat myself into being big. I played softball for 15 years, was a cheerleader for 5 and played volleyball for many. Needless to say, I got my excerise.

People will not date me because I am big. This makes me sick everytime I think about it. I am a very nice person and care more about others than myself.

Just because I am big doesnt make me ugly. IM SMOKIN HOT! lol ok just had to joke a bit. Im a good person as are many big people, yes there are some that are not attractive just as there are skinny people. but a person is a person. These looks, snickers, and comments behind back hurt, no matter if you think we hear them or not. we know when we get the looks or people are talking. We are people too.

k thanks for listening to me rant.

[chook]

Why do you hang out with fat bitches anyway? Is that all you can get?

Its probably a lot more than you're getting ya deadshit.......fucking arsehole


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[jo69guy]

Full figured women are ladies, and have feelings too. I applaud you for your actions! I prefer BBW or full figured women myself. As long as the woman takes care of herself, who cares? If it's not your cup of tea, you don't have to be ugly about it!

:2cents::bipride:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I see both sides of the coin here. In the BBW community you see all kinds of BBW's and BHM (Big Handsome men). I have seen those that put the skinny, silicone, anorexic starlets to shame with their humor and grace And sensuality. I have seen some be as warm and as inviting as a silk blanket, and the men as invigorating as a shot of fine Brandy. But on the other hand, I have seen some BBW's that make the rest of us look bad. :( These are the ones that do not take pride in their appearence, and who do not act like they have any self-confidance, nor pride in the person that they Are. And yes, we've all seen a "Bubba" or two too. (I'm not refereing to Our Bubba by any means) The ones wearing the dirty bibby over-alls with nothing under them, or ones wearing clothes that looks 3 sizes too small. Or ones that have an exersion to a once a week shower..(Ya get the picture:eek:)

There's a chick that rides the bus here, and people actually groan when they see her at the stop because she is unclean, doesnt seem to care about herself, and always looks like she's slept under a car or two. The little kid she takes to daycare is impecibly clean and is always dressed prettily. Her excuse is "I'm a big girl and what good does it do to fix myself up, nobody pays attention to me"
She is the kind that gives us BBW's a bad name...if nothing else except by the ways shes percieved.

I'm no Beauty Queen, Ya'll, I'm just me. People have to take me at face value and understand that what they see is what they might get. (If they are lucky) lol I'm not rich, not a fashion plate, but by God when I go out I'm clean, I smell great, and I have my normal mischievious, playfully out going nature on full at all times. But thats just me.

Take pride in who you are, Ya'll. It dont matter if you are a super model that weighs 101 pounds soaking wet, or if you are a BBW or BHM that tops 400. Be You, and dont worry bout what the rest of the world thinks. Smile, flirt, be happy. :}
Cat

[chub-bi]

I recently joined this site. I got a response to my personal ad from a male member of this group. I honestly described myself in my reply. His response was that I should get in touch with him when I lost 125 lbs.
Well if you read my ad I think it's pretty clear that I wasn't looking to shed
5 lbs so I could fit into my fucking speedo.
Having gained and lost over one hundred pounds 3 times in my life I won't give this guy the sweat off my balls when I do lose the weight.
Sadly fat people get treated very differently from thin ones.
But horny as I am, I prefer heavier people.
It's not a stereotype...male or female...fat people give better head.

[Biboz49]

Take pride in who you are, Ya'll. It dont matter if you are a super model that weighs 101 pounds soaking wet, or if you are a BBW or BHM that tops 400. Be You, and dont worry bout what the rest of the world thinks. Smile, flirt, be happy. :}
Cat

Right on Cat! Being one that is always looking for and enjoys BBW porn, is very attracted to bigger men and women when I see them out and about, and loves and lives with my very hot BBW partner, yeah I'm yet another guy who likes cuddly people. But for me the most attractive quality is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and as you say takes pride in who she is. And it's great to see that there are so many just like that.

[TwylaTwobits]

I was very nervous about meeting LDD in real life, no matter how many times he said what mattered was the person not the body. I am not a skinny mini, I have had three kids and look it, complete with sagging boobs, spread hips and stretch marks.

But LDD is man who was true to his word and treated me no different from a size 2 except with me he actually has his arms full.


Too many times there are images promoted about what is healthy..well what is healthy? Looking like you are on the verge of death to squeeze into a size 0 dress or looking like you actually live?

Yes there are extremely morbidly obese people, there are extremely anorexic people. Two sides to every coin. The lucky ones are the ones that figure out it's not how you look it's how you live.

[Lienda]

I wish there was less wineing about a person's weight. Do we really need to hear about it in the middle of a bonding topic? No thank you. One thing I don't get is how they call someone a "fat bitch" when they are being a childish bitch. Just because we are present in the same room, doesn't mean I will hop up and yell "date me! Date me, God dammit." so why? Oh, trying to look cool to someone? right. -.-

Food is one of the enjoyments of this life! I'm not saying to eat a dinning table, but really. How often does that person actualy GO to the restaurant and use the buffet? Twice a day? (probably not) What if they eat a nice Chaineese meal after about three, maybe four months of not having it. If we are being pigs eating it, then so are they. (we normaly consider it a meal for the whole day, though)

I remember this one thing a guy said in a video I saw. "Any girlfriend of mine is going to have to turn heads." Well, why does she have to "turn the heads" of everyone else? People like what they like.

[Realist]

Leinda, I agree with you about folks saying things hurtful, like that. Why not keep your prejudices to yourself? Why say anything, that may hurt someone's feelings?

There was a young, and I have to say a very pretty girl, who began posting things on here, that was very critical of anyone with the slightest bit of extra weight on them. I was happy to see several regulars ask her in a kind way to get her to accept those different than herself. However, she was very opinionated and vehement about how she felt. The members got pretty tough with her and finally she disappeared.

Some people will never get it and some will finally see the point and relax their criticism. I guess you can't force them.

Long ago, I found out the real treasures didn't always fit the world's standard of beauty and poise. I learned to avoid predicting how a person would be, or act, from my first impression. Once I learned to do that, I found some of the most remarkable relationships imaginable. I feel sorry for others who miss out on these jewels!


As a great girlfriend, who was large and voluptuous, said one time, "I am a winner, and I know it. If a person can't spend a few minutes with me to find that out, it's their loss!" She was right, she really was a winner and I was proud to have known and loved her.

[mercedes67]

Thank you for starting this topic. I myself have struggled with my weight all my life, and my mom made it even harder on me by constantly putting me on diets and telling me how bad I looked. And to this day I hate myself for the way I am. I do my best to eat healthy and exercise as much as I can, but I am a big woman. I am married to a man who always tells me how pretty I am and how good I look, but even after 17 yrs of him telling me this I still have a hard time believing it and that is because of the looks I get sometimes from people. And when I am on this site and meet someone that might become a friend I always let them know that I am not a good-looking person so they know right from the beginning and are not surprised or put off if we end up meeting each other. I am not saying that the person is shallow or all about the looks or anything, I just feel that I need to say it so they know. That is also the reason that I haven't put a picture of myself on my profile, I am shy about the way I look and just can't do it right now. I myself don't care what a person looks like, I am all about who they are and not what they look like. To me it shouldn't matter if someone is fat or skinny, short or tall...we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

[Rudy75]

Well I have to say that BBW's always were, and still are tops with me!

I don't think they are ugly at all!

When I have the choice, I always go for heavier girls.:tong:

[Mmonty]

It's not strange at all to be attracted to heavier women. The BBW I've been with have been just as attractive and sensual as smaller ladies.

[texasman6172003]

Poor Jessica... That tabloid incident was not her fault. They put her in Mom Jeans and Mom jeans are just not meant to be worn (Anyone see that SNL skit?).. She has always had a great body to distract me from her singing....


I am one that falls for a person's soul/spirit and charisma. I tend to lean to the more soft and voluptuous babes and don't think I have ever been with a girl smaller than a size 16. I also prefer my men "Fluffy".

I for one think it is just wrong too judge someone because of there size!! Lord knows i am the last one that needs too be judgemental of someone. Having battled weight problems all my life. Gawd Ray i guess i would have a chance with you,:bigrin:

[Lienda]

Leinda, I agree with you about folks saying things hurtful, like that. Why not keep your prejudices to yourself? Why say anything, that may hurt someone's feelings?

There was a young, and I have to say a very pretty girl, who began posting things on here, that was very critical of anyone with the slightest bit of extra weight on them. I was happy to see several regulars ask her in a kind way to get her to accept those different than herself. However, she was very opinionated and vehement about how she felt. The members got pretty tough with her and finally she disappeared.

Some people will never get it and some will finally see the point and relax their criticism. I guess you can't force them.

Long ago, I found out the real treasures didn't always fit the world's standard of beauty and poise. I learned to avoid predicting how a person would be, or act, from my first impression. Once I learned to do that, I found some of the most remarkable relationships imaginable. I feel sorry for others who miss out on these jewels!


As a great girlfriend, who was large and voluptuous, said one time, "I am a winner, and I know it. If a person can't spend a few minutes with me to find that out, it's their loss!" She was right, she really was a winner and I was proud to have known and loved her.

You got the opposite of my point.

[Realist]

I'm not surprised, Leinda. I'm dyslexic and get a lot of things backwards!

[rissababynta]

I'm not surprised, Leinda. I'm dyslexic and get a lot of things backwards!

HAHA, that's ynnuf.

Sorry, mean and bad joke.

[12voltman59]

I think what's considered fat these days is badly distorted. The mainstream media really has brainwashed people into thinking that any woman that's not a size 0 is fat. I remember seeing tabloids about Jessica Simpson gaining weight, and I personally thought that gained weight on her was much needed. I love women that are built like Marilyn Monroe. If she was alive today she would be considered fat. Not everyone is meant to be a size 0. Some people just look better with meat on their bones. Viva La Curves! :tongue:

I agree entirely with this post---the only negative aspect of being too above the ideal weight--it is not good for our health----but the notion today of what is the proper weight--at least in the cultural sense--is to be a damn human living stick---with the person being unhealthily slender-at least for women----that is an impossible and obviously unhealthy goal since so many women have health problems since they get some form of eating disorder in their quest to be "the perfect weight!!"

I do wish the cultural norm would go back to cuvry women---today--all of those gorgeous and sexy stars from the heydey of Hollywood would have no place being on film--but man----were those classic actresses SMOKIN' HOTTT!!!

[diB4u]

I agree entirely with this post---the only negative aspect of being too above the ideal weight--it is not good for our health----but the notion today of what is the proper weight--at least in the cultural sense--is to be a damn human living stick---with the person being unhealthily slender-at least for women----that is an impossible and obviously unhealthy goal since so many women have health problems since they get some form of eating disorder in their quest to be "the perfect weight!!"

I do wish the cultural norm would go back to cuvry women---today--all of those gorgeous and sexy stars from the heydey of Hollywood would have no place being on film--but man----were those classic actresses SMOKIN' HOTTT!!!

I've struggled with my weight for as long as i can remember... and i will always do the same. However also having health problems myself i wish beyond anything that I could be skinny and healthy, but no matter what i try i cant...

What is the perfect weight? the perfect hight, the perfect person?

Yes having an eating disorder distoughts how you feel not only about yourself but the people around you. Going to clubs for me is a no no and the odd occasion i do, i get stares...

[PolyLoveTriad]

LMAO. Turn over a rating card and go "Ehhh, thats a 2 on Anybody's scale"
Let Him see how it feels to be put down for his size by God! lol :bigrin:
Laughing Cat

Or... Oh... wow... well, thats not average by any standards... youd have to be at least 5 more inches to be standard!

[Herbwoman39]

Realist: Thank you for this post :) It's good to know that there are people like you out there in the world.

Hubby and I were actually just talking about this very subject this afternoon. I was bemoaning my (self-perceived) slow healing process and lack of endurance and explaining about how a couple days after surgery, I was actually CONTENT with my body.

I am firmly convinced that the media has brainwashed society into thinking that unless you're a size 0, you're fat. If you enjoy food, there's something wrong with you.

Carson Kressley had the most wonderful response about really skinny women. He said "Zero isn't a size. It's a warning sign." I love Carson. He really does miracles on "How To Look Good Naked".

It has taken me over 40 years to get to the point where I'm actually HAPPY with who I am. Yes. I want to be fit and healthy. That's why I'm a Pescatarian. LOL! No it's not a weird religious order;) I eat fish, seafood and cheese along with the rest of the vegetarian fare. I also don't eat a whole lot at a sitting.

Unfortunately, I also have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which means that my immune system is trying to eat my thyroid gland. Sooo...not so hot for the metabolism. It's not life threatening. I'm on meds. And I'm actually HAPPY. Once I'm recovered from reconstruction surgery a bit more I'll get back to regular workouts on the Wii Fit, but if I'm never a size 4, I'm perfectly okay with that.

The point of this long, rambling post is this: It's not what other people think about us. It's about what WE think of ourselves. We have to love and accept who we are first. Everything else will come after that.

[PAHunter72]

One of the most beautiful women and sensual woman I ever dated was overweight

[SaraSaurus]

He remarked that she obviously didn't give a shit about how she looked, then said, "You watch, she'll order a big plate of greasy food and woof it down like a pig!" (He was disappointed when the lady got a salad and iced tea.)

I can't stand people like that. I have struggled with my weight all my life and was horribly tormented as a child because I wasn't skinny enough. The worst part was I tried so hard to loose the weight, dieting and exercising. It wasn't until a few years ago that I learned I had a medical condition which made it near impossible to for me to loose weight. Sometimes these things are beyond a person's control.

Since then I've gotten on medication and worked incredibly hard to finally begin losing the pounds. What kills me is that these people feel they have the right to judge me without knowing anything about me.

[KillNillvol33]

I think what's considered fat these days is badly distorted. The mainstream media really has brainwashed people into thinking that any woman that's not a size 0 is fat. I remember seeing tabloids about Jessica Simpson gaining weight, and I personally thought that gained weight on her was much needed. I love women that are built like Marilyn Monroe. If she was alive today she would be considered fat. Not everyone is meant to be a size 0. Some people just look better with meat on their bones. Viva La Curves! :tongue:

Sadly that is so true these days. There is such a thing called "healthy big." It is normal now for teens to stress about having the perfect body and i believe it all stems from TV raising children today.