I am not bisexual but sexuality confused.... society says so

[Long Duck Dong]

disclaimer:... this is a personal opinion from a person that is bisexual..... it is a personal perspective of how society has changed the rule book over the years... and taken the simple task of choosing a sexuality label and turned it into a nightmare..... it is not written to question anybodies sexuality or right to call themselves anything that they may so wish



we live in a day and age of sexuality and sexual issues.....and for people that are struggling to come to terms where who they are... its a bloody miracle they come out with their sanity intact

25 years ago, I was coming to terms with the fact that I could enjoy the contact of males and females and that I found some people out there to be mildly or majorly attractive in one form or another
it was so simplistic...and easy.....a couple of years later... I heard the term * bisexual * and it made sense.... so I used it as a label and carried on living

suddenly it changed.....I was not allowed to simply be bisexual.... I have to do the check list....take the blood test...and get the certificate and the T-shirt.....then be registered, photographed and finger printed.....

ok maybe not that intense.... but suddenly, being bisexual was not as easy as a simple * waking up one morning *

living in a world where every aspect of your life could be traced back to something in your family, your upbringing, your teen years, your sexual experiences etc..... and you now longer had to worry about why you were not perfect, cos somebody or some thing else, was to blame for it.

calling myself bisexual was easy, I was attracted to males and females....so simple.....
now I have to define that attraction.... is it sexual, platonic, emotional, mental ????......is it female / male / intersex / trans gender / non sexual

25 years ago... it was simple attraction...now its got to be defined and classed and rated and catagorized



my first experience with a male was with me being under age and the male a few years older... a interesting experience, tho a lil scary cos I didn't understand what he wanted....but once he told me... I was fine.....and allowed it and enjoyed it....my first sexual experience, a learning curve... and first step into the big wide word of the unknown.....
now, its called sexual abuse, sexual molestation, abuse of a underage person, I am a victim, a survivor of a traumatic experience.... a silent sufferer.... one of the forgotten and ignored children and a possible cause of me being sexuality confused ( bisexual )


for most of my early life, there was a alcoholic father who was abusive and then a step father who was mentally and emotional abusive and quick with a shoe or belt and anything else laying around...... so I didn't have a father fiqure as such.... and so thats regarded as another reason why I am sexuality confused ( bisexual )... I am seeking the father fiqure I never had

it goes on and on.... one excuse after another that I am supposed to use to justify the sexuality confused label ( bisexual )...... but where is the check list for being bisexual ??? oh wait.... here it is....

1 ) attracted to males and females on varying levels, depending on the person.....

I still fit that description..... perfectly

why can't society just allow me to wear it....?????

one of the reasons is simple,
society doesn't like non comformists that have opinions and understanding of themselves.....

the world needs the under trodded, the victims, the survivors etc... to justify the existance of the * experts, the professionals, the support groups....*... and yes they are needed by some people....there are people that need help and support, guidance and understanding.....

and there are people that don't....I am one of them

I am not a victim of sexual assualt or abuse.... it was a sexual learning experience....that helped me become aware of myself at a young age..... without it I could have been 40 and still struggling with my understanding of me

I am not a victim of no father fiqure.....I am a person that grew up without a father fiqure.... but gained a understanding of life thru a different set of eyes.....

I am not a victim of a misspent youth of drugs, alcohol and violence....I created most of that myself... for myself....



I AM a BISEXUAL natured person..... I have been for years..... the rest of the stuff in my life ??? .... optional extras...lol

and yes I am sexuality confused..... my sexuality is fluid.... tommorrow I may be straight / gay / bi.....but for today I am BIsexual..... bisexual - meaning that I am attracted to males and females....

however I have the strange feeling that tomorrow, society is gonna ask me to define what type of human I have....... and that will really fuck things up for me..... lol

[DiamondDog]

You have to learn how to ignore society or other people's standards.

Anyway, even if any of those false stereotypes were true, would it even matter?

It's your life and you only get one.

What if there was no label at all for being attracted to both genders?

I thought you weren't a fluid bisexual but you're a true bisexual, or so you've said on other posts about the subject?

[Aravanww]

Society will always explain away that which they do not understand and fear that they will see in themselves.... so they make it a disease.... yay for those of us who rise above that and live.:three:

[vittoria]

There are those who "talk" just to hear themselves, and unfortunately berate though it was ALREADY STATED you are copying what someone else stated...

(aforementioned)

but i'll only quote this :"the world needs the under trodded, the victims, the survivors etc... to justify the existance of the * experts, the professionals, the support groups....*... and yes they are needed by some people....there are people that need help and support, guidance and understanding.....

and there are people that don't....I am one of them"

'nuff said.

[darkeyes]

Society says an expexts an even demands a lotta things..at least haff of em bollox.... so wy listen 2 society?? Havnt mosta me life...so not reely intendin on startin now...

[shameless agitator]

I thought you weren't a fluid bisexual but you're a true bisexual, or so you've said on other posts about the subject?So, if your sexuality is fluid you're not a true bisexual???

[darkeyes]

So, if your sexuality is fluid you're not a true bisexual???

Wud depend on jus how fluid the sexuality is..so mayb..mayb not...

[shameless agitator]

To steal an expression from you, Fran, Bollox

[darkeyes]

naaaa neva touch em meself.....

So peeps sexuality cant b fluid an still b bisexual huh???? Wile remainin bisexual, peeps cant b fluid in ther predominant attraction an interest throughout ther lives??? That hun almost sounds like sayin bisexuality cant exist.. or fluidity of sexuality cant... ya believe that???

Will reclaim me word bak..bollox!!!

[shameless agitator]

No. I'm saying that fluidity does not rule out bisexuality. I was objecting to DD's insinuation that if your sexuality is fluid, then you're not a "true" bisexual

[darkeyes]

No. I'm saying that fluidity does not rule out bisexuality. I was objecting to DD's insinuation that if your sexuality is fluid, then you're not a "true" bisexual

Soz hun..didn read it rite..muah..enjoy...:tong:

[jamiehue]

sex pistol.

[Long Duck Dong]

in reply to DD's remark

a *true bisexual * is often regarded as a person that have the mental and emotional and body nature of both sexes....... one step down from a person with dual personalities and one step to the side of intersex people ( bearing traits of both genders sexual organs )

I have posted about the fact that I am single and celibate....and the reason is that I am a true bisexual....it would take a mirror image of me, for me to be able to enter into a close or itimate situation without going into *meltdown *

I suffer from period pains and menstrual cramps and I am a guy......
I have the mood swings and the time of the month ( without bleeding ) and I am a guy
my chest, legs and underarms are hairless naturally

my brain scans have revealed that at different times my brain patterns and waves can appear as a males or females...... the brain waves of females and males react is different ways to the same stimuli.... its a documented medical fact

and NONE of it has ANYTHING to do with sexuality......

you can get gay / les, hetero and bi * true bisexuals *..... as the term applies to the person as a whole ... and doesn't refer to any level of attraction or desire towards any other gender

the Bisexual community do not like the term * true bisexual * as to them it have a totally different meaning....and is sometimes used to refer to a person with equal sexual and not sexual desires and attractions to both genders....
and to use the term * true bisexual * in regards to sexuality is to imply anybody with unequal attraction or fuild sexuality, is not actually a bisexual person

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs.... lots and lots of hugs.........

[Cerealk]

well, i think you might be confusing bigender and bisexual.

Bigender refers to gender identity while bisexuality refers to sexual identity.

Bigender is basically having a male and female identity, while bisexuality is having sexual attraction for both male and female.

Sexuality is an interaction between people, that can be described based on their gender identity.

I am a bigender person, and both my gender identity have different sexual identity that can both be called bisexuality (the "ratio" is different).

I think the "true bisexual" as refered too many often is someone that identify as having equal (50/50) attraction to both gender (sexual, emotional or any other type) and that has nothing to do with being a guy, a girl or anything else.

My guess is the ratio thing is needed to position ourselves along the scale. Of course, it changes, but labels are an over-generalization anyway.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol it would be nice if it was that simple

where it becomes differcult.... is I use simplistic terms......but the requirement there, is for me to break myself down into a label, a class, a category and a type.... but thats using terms that don't fit me

anyway......
this is the type of thing that triggered my post

Experts refer to me as a * true bisexual *, a person with a dual nature of both sexes ( male and female ) in the same personality... with clearly defining medical evidence of mental / emotional changes that can be monitored via things like MRI and EEG

I suffer the effects of PMS, PMT etc without the physical symptoms like bleeding

my body is clearly one gender ( male ) but with feminine traits ( intersex ) but the genetic *hiccup * in my body is with bone structure and density and not the reproductive system

I don't Identify as male or female.... but gender neutral

hence i just refer to myself as a true bisexual.... a person of both female and male traits and aspects....but not identifying as either sex

[19biman61]

I would really confuse the "experts." I was not abused, I have wonderful parents, I rarely drink (never been drunk) and I've never done drugs. Yet I am attracted to, and enjoy sex with, both sexes.

[the mage]

Avoid labels at all costs..
It make life easier.

Avoiding brand names make life cheaper;)

[darkeyes]

Avoid labels at all costs..
It make life easier.

Avoiding brand names make life cheaper;)Dus think we ova uselabels a bit..but also dus think we go on bout labellin peeps far 2 much as well... avoid labels at all costs??? Don think so..wot r we?? Non-descript?? We r all summat an shud neva b 2 worried bout wot... its bout standin up an bein counted for who an wot we r...

An Magie hun..u mite b inta makin life cheap..but it aint.. its much 2 precious.. an 2 sum degree peeps bein called wot they r is a signa jus how varied an precious that life is... an besides..mite b a tart..but me a fukkin classy tart!!!:bigrin: As they say..all the best things in life r free...:tong:

[Mr Tripod]

Avoid labels at all costs..
It make life easier.

Avoiding brand names make life cheaper;)

Agree totally! Why waste time and energy trying to put people into little boxes we have created for them? I really don't care who anybody is attracted to, It doesn't concern me.