Need Advice

[bi42guy1958]

I have a freind that I met a few weeks ago, and hes hanging around quite a bit more now. He always seems to continue the talk about how he never gets any. Of course he doesnt know Im bi, but Im wondering he might be hinting, or maybe Im just hoping in this. But I would like to do oral on him but not sure how to approach the subject with him. Any ideas would be greatly apprecieated!

[DiamondDog]

You're probably just projecting yourself onto him.

Contrary to the fantasy of most bi/gay men and what you read in erotica and see in gay porn, most men don't want to have sex with other men, and that's because most people are heterosexual.

Just be friends with him and come out to him.

If something happens it will happen, and if nothing happens that's fine too.

If he's heterosexual just don't even ask since he won't be interested in having sex with another guy.

Why does everything always have to be about sex?

I'd get really annoyed if a friend who I wasn't dating/in a relationship with asked me out of nowhere one day for sex and I'd begin to wonder if that's the only reason they were hanging out with me, or friends with me in the first place.

[bi42guy1958]

[QUOTE=DiamondDog;87520]You're probably just projecting yourself onto him.

Contrary to the fantasy of most bi/gay men and what you read in erotica and see in gay porn, most men don't want to have sex with other men, and that's because most people are heterosexual.

Just be friends with him and come out to him.

If something happens it will happen, and if nothing happens that's fine too.

If he's heterosexual just don't even ask since he won't be interested in having sex with another guy.

Why does everything always have to be about sex?

I'd get really annoyed if a friend who I wasn't dating/in a relationship with asked me out of nowhere one day for sex and I'd begin to wonder if that's the only reason they were hanging out with me, or friends with me in the first place.[/QUOTE


Was of no help at all. I asked for ideas of how to broach the subject. Not just come out and ask for sex. Let me decide if its the right time or the right idea to bring it up, afterall Im here and have seen and heard the converstaions him and I have had. But I guess I should say thanks for trying? Now if you don;t mind, get off your :soapbox: You do sound intelligent, but have you ever heard that sometimes you can be too smart for your own good? Have a good one!

[shameless agitator]

Was of no help at all. I asked for ideas of how to broach the subject. Not just come out and ask for sex. Let me decide if its the right time or the right idea to bring it up, afterall Im here and have seen and heard the converstaions him and I have had. But I guess I should say thanks for trying? Now if you don;t mind, get off your :soapbox: You do sound intelligent, but have you ever heard that sometimes you can be too smart for your own good? Have a good one!First of all, you're being a dick. Secondly, he did give you advice, and good advice at that. right here


Just be friends with him and come out to him.

If something happens it will happen, and if nothing happens that's fine too.

[bi42guy1958]

OK, yea youre right, but guess what this "DICK" is right too! When you or anybody goes to the store and asks for a gallon of milk, do you come out satisfied with a gallon of water? In case you can't figure out what Im say here, the help he gave was not to what I was asking. Again, it is my business as to asking or telling the guy what I had in mind. I was asking how to go about it. But I guess just like you, your so smart you try to analize everything and offer something for nothing about what I was asking. But any way, this "DICK" is finished with asking morons for any kind of help.

[elian]

Just saying - if the guy really is STRAIGHT there's not much you can do to change his mind. Attempting to perform oral sex on a straight guy probably isn't going to work out to your benefit in the long run.

I have known a few guys I would have liked to express my "feelings" for but short of staring directly at their crotch for an extended period of time there's not much else I would do. The feelings aren't returned because they just don't feel the same way. It sucks, sometimes that's the way it is.

I don't know what other answer you want - perhaps if you rephrase the question we could do better.

If you think that because he tells you he needs to get laid that somehow he's not straight - I can't answer that - I have known straight friends who do tell me that .. and I have to decide if I value the friendship more than the hormones. So far the friendship has won out.

[elian]

Short of popping a porn tape into the VCR I'm not sure how else you would bring up the subject with a straight guy without getting punched in the head.

[csrakate]

A good course in manners might be your first step...just my humble opinion.

Hugs,
Kate

[bi42guy1958]

A good course in manners might be your first step...just my humble opinion.

Hugs,
Kate

Why even bother?All your doing is trying to bash me. But I will admit, your doing it in a nice way. But who the hell needs it???

[Not2str8]

It seems that the only advice you'll listen to is that which tells you to unzip his pants and suck his dick. I suspect you'll be asking for advice again after he hits you over the head with the nearest available blunt object. As to your attitude here, at least you're well balanced.....you have chips on both shoulders.

[jem_is_bi]

There is always a slight possibility that your friend is informing you of his desire for sex because he thinks you are bisexual or homosexual and will take care of his needs.
However, given your description of your friend, most of us have no reason to believe he is not straight. That is why we recommend you assume the he is straight unless he tells you he is not. A straight male will be offended if you request sex and requesting sex is disrespectful and inconsiderate of his feelings.
But, as suggested, you can inform him that you are bisexual. Like you, he seems the kind of guy that will tell you what he is thinking. So, after telling him, if he wants sex from you or has a different emotional reaction, I suspect you will know it immediately. Also, if he is that kind of guy, I don’t think it would be a good idea to express your sexual interest without more positive feedback from him because his reaction may be very unpleasant for you.
However, if your one of those people that get their thrills from taking big risks, then let us know what happens.

JEM

[Gemini25]

WOW, I think this is the first thread I have read that the person asking for the advise, Gets several different peoples advise, Doesn't actually want anyones advise after all.

My advise to you is do what you want, because you know damn well your not going to listen to anyone here anyway. Be careful, and use comon sence if you have any.

Also people that are so focused on sex, or haven't had it in a while....... There's usually a reason no one wants him in, on, or around them..... Think about it. If he was a nice guy, had manners, or presented himself in a positive way, don't you think he would be getting laid instead of complaining about it?

I don't know your complete situation, but this is my:2cents: do I get any change back?

[elian]

Why even bother?All your doing is trying to bash me. But I will admit, your doing it in a nice way. But who the hell needs it???

You might be a little hypersensitive to this issue dude, I wasn't trying to bash you but I'm not going to sugar coat anything either. Relax and be comfortable with YOURSELF first.

Consider that we really don't know anything about your friend - like just HOW LONG you've had a friendship. (wait - we do know that - dude a few weeks isn't a whole lot of time to get to know someone).

For some of my best friends I've been around a LONG time the answer would still be no but they would probably be more compassionate about the response then a complete stranger.

Of course there may have been what I thought of as sexual tension but I'd never ask them directly for sex - we had discussions about their views of LGBT - I was able to judge based on that how they might react. Some of them are accepting, but they would never participate in anything.

Of course let's assume your straight friend says "Yeah, sure you can suck me" - that sort of relationship seems sort of one sided if he's straight - and a bit awkward probably in the future. It doesn't seem really healthy to me for him to use you, but it's your choice. Things could go either way - I'm just saying - hate crime is real - if you do come out to this guy make sure he's stable enough that he's not going to cause a problem for you in the community or at work, etc.

I can't be any more agreeable than that so I hope you don't think I'm still "bashing" you.

[ohbimale]

:male:;)I have a friend - neighbor actually - who I have had sex discussions with. We are comfortable talking to each other, because there is a level of trust between us that we know neither one is going to go out blab the secrets of the other to the world. It's called friendship. I never brought up he subject of doing him, because I know he is straight. Before you drop to your knees and offer to give him a blow job, consider he maybe looking to you as a friend who he can confide in and trust. And perhaps Diamond Dog came off a little critical, however the advice he gave is good sound advice. I suggest keeping the friendship just that - friendship. Don't ruin a friendship because you have a strong desire to get some. And don't cry to everyone here if you act on your impulses and get into trouble. :bibounce::male::male:

[bi42guy1958]

You people are not getting this are you?????????? Im gonna say this one more time, maybe you can read it and understand it this time?????????? Because Im finished with this nonsense!!!!! Its up to ME to decide if I want to confront him. I'm a grown man, and know how to think for myself!! And if I make the wrong decision about it, then, HEY ITS ON ME!!! There are only maybe 2 responses that deal with the question. So does that mean that only 2 people on here can read? Like I said, Im finished here, you wont see me back on this thread.:tongue:

[thinkfree39]

Any ideas would be greatly apprecieated!

Um hm.

[arana]

Since you both sound comfortable with sex talk to each other maybe you could talk about fantasies and see if he has any same sex ones and move on from there.