BB OR RUBBER - A same question.

[dowmass]

I know that many (or some of you) don't use rubber - as a TOP or bottom. I know that when you met your partner, at first you were strangers.

My questions are:



Is at what point did you give up using rubber in favor of bare back? OR
Did you bareback from day one?
When you moved from using rubber to going bare back, was the transition easy? I have come across guys who said that after knowing each other for a while, we could bareback. That these people were flakes, and nothing really happened, is another story.
How do you build the trust between the two to a stage, where you are sure the other person is not seeing someone else, so Bareback is OK, safe and nothing to worry about

[Tight1-4u]

for me being sub bottom guy the first few times I meet a new person it is safe all the time.. only after being with them for a time seeing how they act and treat me .. are they courteous respectful?? Am I comfortable with them?? To me it is all a gut feeling.. no one is the same.. I am honest with them about my regulars.. they always want to know how many I have sex regularly.. I don’t give that out as it is none of their business.. but I do tell them that there are others and I explain to them that I see almost exclusively sexually frustrated married men.. like them selves.. that I do bb with some and not others that it all boils down to the fact of what they want and trust.. when and if I feel I can trust them if they want it they will get it!!

[monaohio]

i always tell them bareback only i love the feel of his skin going in my hole and feel his cum filling up my ass

[Neonaught]

If a new person can't show me recent test results as I can to him then it's safe only. I am married to a bi gal so I have to keep us both healthy and clean. All of my regulars are bi married guys not out to their wives so after trust is built we will go bare. It is helpful that most of them see only me.

When you can buy easy, quick home HIV test kits at any pharmacy there's really no reason not to test regularly. I understand there are even some gay bars that offer testing these days.

[xdoorb]

I always wear a condom except for a handful of times in very specific circumstances. It's better just not to have to worry about it. Also the slight deadening effect helps me last longer. :)

[NjbiGuy01]

There are a few people locally I've spoken with on A4A that claim "with a condom I lose my hard-on". I played with one guy who did just fine with a rubber, but said he "couldn't find one to fit right"...He was about 9" long but very thin...the other dude had pics on his profile of him barebacking guys, claiming they were "long-term friends".

Look: Unless it's a steady relationship, and/or we are both in committed situations at home and recent test results, I can't and won't take the chance. There are guys on A4A posting that they are "pos undetectable" or on Prep, but I think these guys are using prep as an excuse or a hall-pass to go back to what got people infected in the first place. I have done bareback (years ago) and loved it, but in the modern age, it's so-far not proven worth the risk.

[fredward]

I sometimes lose my hard on with condoms too. But I still always use them for penetration with guys. Always.

If I were in a serious MM relationship (I have not, and don't plan to), then I would consider testing, etc with a view to allowing BB with that person. However, all of my MM relationships are fleeting, and most anonymous, so condoms it is.

I don't use condoms for oral. I know there are risks with that (not really HIV, but other STIs), but I'm willing to take that risk. I do get tested. So far, so good.

[dowmass]

This is on a a different note - more political. I have lived in Canada . Correct me if I am wrong, Canada is more liberal - I lived in Toronto and being BI or Gay was not considered "Weird" "Unnatural" or "Ungodly". At least I haven't such homophobic terms, like I hear in the US. When one goes for FREE testing (I did, once), the staff at these centers treat you with respect, don;t ask intrusive questions - so the whole experience is great.



I sometimes lose my hard on with condoms too. But I still always use them for penetration with guys. Always.

If I were in a serious MM relationship (I have not, and don't plan to), then I would consider testing, etc with a view to allowing BB with that person. However, all of my MM relationships are fleeting, and most anonymous, so condoms it is.

I don't use condoms for oral. I know there are risks with that (not really HIV, but other STIs), but I'm willing to take that risk. I do get tested. So far, so good.

[dowmass]

I actually met a guy at a starbucks who was actually OK with safe sex until we decided when and where to meet. At that time, he came up with the excuse that he "didn't get the natural feel" and that he was "allergic to latex". How he didn't remember that over multiple emails and until that moment - is beyond me.

Maybe he thought my love for cock would take priority over safety. He was wrong - I said I wouldn't do that.


There are a few people locally I've spoken with on A4A that claim "with a condom I lose my hard-on". I played with one guy who did just fine with a rubber, but said he "couldn't find one to fit right"...He was about 9" long but very thin...the other dude had pics on his profile of him barebacking guys, claiming they were "long-term friends".

Look: Unless it's a steady relationship, and/or we are both in committed situations at home and recent test results, I can't and won't take the chance. There are guys on A4A posting that they are "pos undetectable" or on Prep, but I think these guys are using prep as an excuse or a hall-pass to go back to what got people infected in the first place. I have done bareback (years ago) and loved it, but in the modern age, it's so-far not proven worth the risk.

[playful808]

This is on a a different note - more political. I have lived in Canada . Correct me if I am wrong, Canada is more liberal - I lived in Toronto and being BI or Gay was not considered "Weird" "Unnatural" or "Ungodly". At least I haven't such homophobic terms, like I hear in the US. When one goes for FREE testing (I did, once), the staff at these centers treat you with respect, don;t ask intrusive questions - so the whole experience is great.

No, you are not wrong. Toronto is more liberal than Dallas.

In Canada, public health policy is set by public health experts, instead of religious demagogues.

[Cum1st]

I was younger, and sex was safer when I was swimming unprotected in the gene pool for the most part. Luckily I didn't catch anything other than crotch crickets once. I don't have much experience with condoms.

Now I'd be more careful. I'd certainly use a rubber for anal. If I decided it was safe later, I would weigh that decision then.

[bikurinpa]

I have to get to know and trust the guy first and make sure he isnt one of many on these sites who " oh yes, this is my first time" but gets more ass then a toilet seat!

[cornholejoe]

really have to know a man really well to do bareback

[tenni]

No, you are not wrong. Toronto is more liberal than Dallas.

In Canada, public health policy is set by public health experts, instead of religious demagogues.

In Ontario Canada, Public Health testing is done free and you are given a number to obtain your test results in seven days. Your name is not needed. I recall that in the waiting room there was a bowl full of free condoms if you wanted to take them. The hospital was used where I live and so no one sees you entering other than a hospital section one day per week. I believe that if you test positive for any STD, HIV, Hep. etc. you are given free, immediate treatment on the day you are given your test results. I think that at the point that you are told that you have an STD, you are asked for any person that you have been sexually active with but you are not required to give their name and contact info. The provincial Public Health department may contact the persons for you if you ask. You are asked to contact your contacts if you want to do that on your own. Your own doctor may also do the testing as part of Canadian health plan paid for through our taxes. If your own doctor is used and you have an STD, you would be asked any the name of any sexual contact and the doctor passes forward their name to the Public Health department. Again, you are not forced to give this information if you do not want to.

[wifekinky4husband]

I know that many (or some of you) don't use rubber - as a TOP or bottom. I know that when you met your partner, at first you were strangers.

My questions are:


Is at what point did you give up using rubber in favor of bare back? I get to know people VERY well before we have sex with them. It is a long process of building a long term trusting friendship. We only very recently started having sex with a new couple after a year of getting to know them well.
Did you bareback from day one? After everyone getting tested and the aforementioned, we had sex for the first time and it was bareback much of the time.
When you moved from using rubber to going bare back, was the transition easy? Yes it has been before
How do you build the trust between the two to a stage, where you are sure the other person is not seeing someone else, so Bareback is OK, safe and nothing to worry about It is a long process of building a long term trusting friendship. You eventually have to take them at their word - scary I know. We also always all get tested.

[Franz007]

I have to admit i am not a good example but i always swallowed without problems (hundreds of strangers) and never catched something. Being a bottom, i first did it only with condoms or told him to use one. But after some years i let them decide if they want to put a condom or not. I know its risky. But i have very little sex, some periods more. And i prefer it much more without a rubber. Now i started taking PREP and have made all needed vaccins because i am aware of the risks. And i will go fully bareback next time without being scared.
I never had a regular partner and have only anonymous ones, although i am searching for a regular.

[cbb83]

You could try not having sex with strangers. Spend a few weeks or months getting to know someone before you have sex with them. Gives you plenty of time to each have some blood work done and see if there's anything that turns up. All this 'hook up' culture is why dating and relationships seem to be a lost art in the LGB community.

[Franz007]

I tried, but i have gay-urges only from time to time and each time i was in a coffee in front of a guy i was completely turned off and was watching the sexy girls around. I just loose interest in the guy then. But perhaps there are some sort of guys where it could work. Lets see...

[Asspussy302]

I have never tried bareback, always curious about it but scared to try it

[Christopher South]

I have only barebacked one guy. He said we were exclusive and he was clean. He was neither. I caught Chlamydia and gave it to my wife (first time we had sex in 20 months). Since then it's always wrapped, except for oral.

I enjoyed the feeling of barebacking but not enough to again risk it. I've talked to guys who have said they couldn't stay hard with a condom and I've passed on meeting them. I have a hard time staying hard with one on but use a cock ring to help.

I would only bareback in a long-term, live together relationship. I dodged a bullet once and don't plan on tempting fate.

[HardOn55]

BB only with someone I know very well

[dowmass]

I am not trying to be intrusive - so if I sound like that, I apologize in advance.
Was it difficult getting treated for Chlamydia? Did the wife know you were bi (or else it could be difficult explaining all of that)
Coming to the Oral part, I am fascinated by cocks, and sucked one bare - only once. The other two guys wanted it wrapped -so I had no problem with that. I still can't get to suck a cock bare because no one can say it is a 100 % safe (and I am on the DL- and she does not know)

Can anyone who has sucked a cock wrapped and bare tell me how they feel? As I said earlier, I love sucking cock, but it so happens now the world seems to be full of cock suckers - so I get very vew replies when I post on bi sites.

I have only barebacked one guy. He said we were exclusive and he was clean. He was neither. I caught Chlamydia and gave it to my wife (first time we had sex in 20 months). Since then it's always wrapped, except for oral.

I enjoyed the feeling of barebacking but not enough to again risk it. I've talked to guys who have said they couldn't stay hard with a condom and I've passed on meeting them. I have a hard time staying hard with one on but use a cock ring to help.

I would only bareback in a long-term, live together relationship. I dodged a bullet once and don't plan on tempting fate.

[catcherinneed]

For me, it’s bareback all the way. As a sub bottom (and even the very few times I top), there’s nothing hotter and intimate than feeling that hot cock skin on skin and ending up with his load the only place it belongs: deep inside.

[KDaddy23]

Since now all I do is suck dick, if I need to use a condom on a guy, chances are I shouldn't be blowing him at all. I can't stand the taste of flavored condoms and I also hate having my mouth, tongue, and lips go numb if the condom is lubricated - it contains a spermicide - and that whole deal is unpleasant. Condoms without that lubrication/spermicide is a taste I've never acquired. But yeah - before I suck anyone's cock, I'm gonna know everything I can about them and where their dick has been.

Guess what's not gonna happen if I don't find out what I need to find out?

[Christopher South]

I am not trying to be intrusive - so if I sound like that, I apologize in advance.
Was it difficult getting treated for Chlamydia? Did the wife know you were bi (or else it could be difficult explaining all of that)
Coming to the Oral part, I am fascinated by cocks, and sucked one bare - only once. The other two guys wanted it wrapped -so I had no problem with that. I still can't get to suck a cock bare because no one can say it is a 100 % safe (and I am on the DL- and she does not know)

Can anyone who has sucked a cock wrapped and bare tell me how they feel? As I said earlier, I love sucking cock, but it so happens now the world seems to be full of cock suckers - so I get very vew replies when I post on bi sites.

Treatment for Chlamydia was a course of antibiotics (7 days I think it was). My wife didn't know I was bi but it all came out at that point.

The first time I sucked cock it was wrapped. The guy knew I was a newbie and cautious and was OK with that. But after that I started blowing guys (and getting blown) without condoms.

It isn't 100% safe but you weigh the risks and everyone's tolerance for risk is different.

And yes, there seems to be more bottoms/cocksuckers than there are tops.

[Cum1st]

I am not trying to be intrusive - so if I sound like that, I apologize in advance.
Was it difficult getting treated for Chlamydia? Did the wife know you were bi (or else it could be difficult explaining all of that)
Coming to the Oral part, I am fascinated by cocks, and sucked one bare - only once. The other two guys wanted it wrapped -so I had no problem with that. I still can't get to suck a cock bare because no one can say it is a 100 % safe (and I am on the DL- and she does not know)

Can anyone who has sucked a cock wrapped and bare tell me how they feel? As I said earlier, I love sucking cock, but it so happens now the world seems to be full of cock suckers - so I get very vew replies when I post on bi sites.


Glory holes before HIV: Those were the good old days. Maybe one in eight encounters in the booths insisted on blowing me. Most of the others were watching for a finger circling the hole to have their cocks serviced. It didn't generally take them too long to reharden before going over the edge. Multiple BJ's with cum tops one long one with cum.