emotional attraction not comparing with sexual attraction

[morandi]

I definitly became more gay, in my teens i was more hetero altough i had some sex contacts with men. I think if i had not a difficult youth i could have made a choice for men. The problem was sex with men was really horny but i feld in love with women. Now i think maybe i wasn't in real love but liked it to be with somebody. I married and my sexual attraction between my 30th and 40th
was in the middel of the kinsey scale. Then I divorced after 23 years. Now i'm 49 and Have big problem with my sexual identity. I mostly fantasies about sex with men. When i'm on the internet i watch naked beautifull women and i like to see them, but i never watch heterosexual porn. I start with watching women but always end with gay porn. It seems like when i'm home i'm gay, but now, and this is the problem when i'm going out on the street i only see the women and i think they are lovely. And emotional attractive I really don't understand myself.
Maybe i'm afraid of women after my hurting divorce??? Or maybe i'm gay afterall
Somebody got the same?

[Realist]

Morandi, first of all, welcome to the site. I think you may find some answers, here and maybe some friends, too.

You may be thinking too hard and not looking within yourself, to see what you really want and need out of life. Maybe you can find someone who lives close to you, who you can discuss your feelings with. Hopefully, they won't be opinionated and will allow you to be yourself.

If you don't know anyone who you can share your most intimate thoughts with, there are people here who may help you. I know I have developed friendships and even met the love of my life on this site, too!

[tenni]

"Maybe i'm afraid of women after my hurting divorce??? Or maybe i'm gay afterall
Somebody got the same?"

Morandi
Both are possibilities. Many men after a divorce and especially after 40 begin to explore same sex activity. They become disillusioned with women after a failed marriage. Social taboos are less stringent and some men decide to "try it" even if they had no previous same sex action as you had. Think of your sexuality as fluid rather than you must be hetero or gay. Your sexual attractions can ebb and flow and as I wrote same sex attraction may increase as you mature. Some men have no emotional attachment to other men and just enjoy the physical interaction while other men begin to develop emotional attachments to both men and women. Accept your feelings and attractions and do not become too pre occupied about forcing yourself into a box of sexual orientation. Relax. Explore and enjoy your sexual attractions.

[tenni]

quote from Morondi (another thread)
"In the pub witch I regurely visit i told people i'm bisexual. The people are very open minded and except it. But when it becomes to there own relationships. They are not so open minded as you should acspect If i should put my face on a gay dating site in now time everybody should know it.
Because i am known by a lot of gays. My chances for women will be gone.
Although i came out as bisexual what everybody liked they don't want a men like that. I feel split. It seems that i have to make a choice upfront. And that
damned difficult."

Morondi
I hope that it is ok with you to bring this quote of your's to this thread. I thought that it was more relevant to this thread topic of your's. Not all women are suppose to be so closed minded but I tend to agree with you. Most heterosexual women will not get involved with a bisexual man due to their fear of abandonment issues that the guy will leave them for a man (more fear about the other man than another woman).

[bikiniman]

I am 45 and have similar feelings to you. I love women and always notice attractive women when I am out and about. I enjoy talking to women more than men. Whilst I am sexually attracted to women my attraction to women is broad and more emotionally based. I do not think I could ever feel this way about a man.

On the sexual attraction front I prefer gay porn and fantasise almost exclusively about men. Its like I emotionally prefer women but sexually prefer men.